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To rigidly refuse to speak to MIL?

(98 Posts)
3MenAndMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:10:42

I love reading MIL related treads and it looks like its my turn(thought it will never happen grin...)So....
Couple of weeks ago was on Skype with her after long awaited call(we normally call each other everyday and shenis the only person I talk to as have very strained relationship with my parents, but that's another story).
1 minute into the call and admiring DGS her neighbour burst in, barely glances at us and completely ignoring me, bothering my MIL about some problems with inserting batteries (neighbour lives in opposite flat, same block for last 30 years....)...
No problem with this but my MIL says to me "Sorry, we will catch up later...bla, bla, bla" and leaves...
I'm still really hurt and not speaking to her since....Forgave her many things in the past, including chucking DH and me out when heavily pregnant with 20 mo from the flat we were previously happily sharing(I later found out that she wanted a bit of peace,leaving me and unemployed DH with no roof over our heads)....
Should I swallow my pride or stick to my guns...

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Nov-13 14:29:44

You know what?

I think this is the biggest over reaction I've read in the almost 3 years I've been on Mumsnet...and believe me there have been some huge ones in the past.

'Rigidly refusing to speak' to her because she rushed off and said she'd catch up later?? confused

I hope this is a revers AIBU or something because reactions like that, are likely to see you having a very strained relationship with her too in the future.

Really, get over it.

HaroldLloyd Sun 03-Nov-13 14:30:33

Wow worra. That's saying something! grin

Rosencrantz Sun 03-Nov-13 14:31:32

You are being sooo unreasonable OP.

BettyBotter Sun 03-Nov-13 14:32:16

How extraordinary.

So pushy neighbour interrupted your call and MIL felt she had to apologise and call you back later, so you are cutting all family ties.


WorraLiberty Sun 03-Nov-13 14:32:52

Innit Harold! grin

And that includes all the threads that say a checkout assistant 'scowled' at someone grin

Abra1d Sun 03-Nov-13 14:33:26

You speak to her every other day and you're bothered because a call was interrupted?

BOF Sun 03-Nov-13 14:35:59

You sound, um, high maintenance.

Salmotrutta Sun 03-Nov-13 14:36:34


It was a phone call. Not a G8 summit video conference.

I too would love to hear her version of the moving-out-of-her-flat scenario...

3MenAndMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:39:34

Failed miserably again hoping for some support from MN,
It's lottery I suppose, when you feel down there will be somebody who will kick u in the face...

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Nov-13 14:39:41

Salmo grin

MotheringShites Sun 03-Nov-13 14:39:41


TheFallenMadonna Sun 03-Nov-13 14:40:15

You call every day, but this call was long awaited? Or the skyping was long awaited? confused

Salmotrutta Sun 03-Nov-13 14:41:15

Nobody "kicked you in the face"

People just couldn't quite grasp that you would cut family ties over a phone call that was cut short.


WorraLiberty Sun 03-Nov-13 14:41:18

OP you asked if your were BU and got quite a resounding yes.

How is that not supportive?

Would you prefer we lied and let you think you were in the right here?

How would that help you or your MIL?

Littleredsquirrel Sun 03-Nov-13 14:42:48

Sorry but you're being needy and completely unreasonable.

BOF Sun 03-Nov-13 14:42:54

She is the only person you talk to? Have you wondered why that might be?

cjel Sun 03-Nov-13 14:43:31

Friends and I do this all the time, if we are chatting and other phone rings, someone at door, need a wee[embarrassed] we say can I give you a ring back, sometimes we get time to sometimes we don't - its life!

You clearly are high maintenance, you don't put family first (yours?) did she really chuck you out on the street or say she couldn't cope with sharing a flat - (which you thought was working ok) does she want to be skyped EVERY day?

BettyBotter Sun 03-Nov-13 14:43:37

Really honestly 3Men. If your friend told you what you'd told us would you not think she was overreacting?

People never get 100% sympathy or support on MN so you'd be a fool to expect that, but when you get as near as 100% response that YABVU that's usually a pretty good sign that it's worth rethinking your opinion.

LoopaDaLoopa Sun 03-Nov-13 14:43:51


What did she do wrong?

kali110 Sun 03-Nov-13 14:43:57

It was a fucking phone call! Nothing to do with putting family first.
You are not getting any support because its ridiculous.

Slainte Sun 03-Nov-13 14:44:07

YABVU. The end.

Salmotrutta Sun 03-Nov-13 14:44:09

When you and your DH were sharing your MIL flat - how many bedrooms did she have?

Were you contributing financially and with household chores?

HaroldLloyd Sun 03-Nov-13 14:44:38

You asked us if you should carry on ignoring her or make peace!

It's not supportive to let someone carry on with a silly feud.

Make your peace.

Salmotrutta Sun 03-Nov-13 14:46:26

Actually, if she is the only person you talk to I can understand why she might have wanted peace in her own flat - maybe she felt overwhelmed.

Did you literally have nowhere else to go when this happened?

NynaevesSister Sun 03-Nov-13 14:46:35

Why post in AIBU if you are not prepared to hear you are being unreasonable?

Does it not tell you something that the vast majority say you are being U, and your response is that we are only doing this to kick you because you are already down?

No it is because you were U in this instance.

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