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to think a woman carrying heavy furniture isn't remarkable?

(56 Posts)
misspontypine Fri 01-Nov-13 21:04:22

Me and dp went to collect our new sofa today, it's a largish corner bed sofa. It came in 3 bits.

Me and dp live on the 4th floor and we have no lift.

3 separate neighbors came and said things like "well done for choosing such a strong wife!" "were non of your mates free to help you?" "let ne help, I know I have a bad back but your not going to manage that without help, misspontypine can hold open the door."

I'm not especially strong, average I'd imagine, I have a chunky toddler that a carry lug around all day, I guess that helps with stamina.

Aibu to expect in this day in age it shouldn't just be men that are expected to carry heavy things?

complexnumber Sun 03-Nov-13 18:22:53

I remember watching a programme a few years ago: 'The world's strongest man.'

It was set in S. Africa, and all of us watching knew that the huge weights being carried around by the 'strong' men, would eventually be shifted back to position by powerful African women.

misspontypine Sun 03-Nov-13 15:56:49

It seems like a common reaction to women lifting things except if it's a child, then the lifting is normal

I think people have the same reaction when my dp bakes cakes, they are yummy but the praise people give him would be more appropriate for someone who had just completed a marathon or PhD.

Ketchupwithchips Sun 03-Nov-13 15:31:04

I work in an industry that involves lots of heavy lifting. Thankfully, the prevailing opinion seems to be that as long as you pull your weight (no pun intended), then everything is fine.

What really gets my goat, however, is the men who insist on trying to lift too-heavy things alone or with too few people and then injure themselves. On the while, the women seem to be far more sensible about saying, "This is a four-man lift, you, you, you and you".

MurderOfGoths Sun 03-Nov-13 15:24:47

I find it frustrating now as I have an invisible disability which means I can no longer lift heavy stuff, I had to get an assistant to help me in B&Q a few months back and it took all of my willpower not to tell this guy that I was unwell rather than just female and weak.

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 15:24:29


you can't offer help to elderly people either - the last two I tried to help looked at me like I was trying to rob them.

I know, different issue, but it annoys me so much

mitchsta Sun 03-Nov-13 15:15:18

I was getting off a train the other day and there was some bloke waiting for all the other passengers to disembark. He had a load of music equipment and some bulky-looking bags, etc. I asked if he'd like a hand (there were quite simply a lot of things for him to drag off the train) and he gave a chuckle, looked me up and down and said "Erm... no thanks, this stuff is [snorts] quite heavy." Fucking prick. I'll carry the fucking light stuff then, Mr Macho - I was only trying to be helpful. What's wrong with a simple "No thanks" ?

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 14:14:05


yes, apron and a pretty ribbon in your hair would have given the right message of "I'm dainty but need is must" grin

TheBreastmilksOnMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:04:58

I have absoloutly no qualms about men believing that they are stronger than me and offering to rescue me from some large heavy item whilst I stand back and smile to myself. I am lazy though.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Sun 03-Nov-13 13:54:27

I work in a Hotel and will often get calls to request luggage assistance. I always get the "Oh were there no men free" when I turn up.

I am a short arse but can lift a heavy load and usually take a trolley too so minimal effort involved. Get good tips tho!

Justforlaughs Sun 03-Nov-13 13:48:51

My DF is like this as well. He has had a bad back in the past and insists that he is far more capable of lifting things than I am confused. There was "no way" that I would be able to put an armchair into my car, it was far too heavy - hmm. My 14yo DD on the other hand is incredible! She puts me to shame.

EeyoreIsh Sun 03-Nov-13 13:47:32

I've not been allowed to lift a thing since getting pregnant and I think my arms are wasting away. I'm looking forward to carrying a baby and it's paraphernalia around so I can regain my lost muscles!

I cleared some gutters at the front of the house last autumn. The number of comments I got was quite ridiculous.

BlueJess Sun 03-Nov-13 13:46:25

Zing no, sadly I wasn't. Do you think that would have helped?

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 13:43:33


no-one offered to carry my 2 stone 1-year-old when I was 6m pg with DS3!

shame, he was bloody heavy and I had PSD!

Hassled Sun 03-Nov-13 13:39:20

I think we build up strength from all the toddler-carrying. I saw a very pregnant woman yesterday carrying a very large small child with no obvious problem and marvelled at it.

BalloonSlayer Sun 03-Nov-13 13:38:59

I was walking to school the other day and I saw a car that had conked out blocking a junction. I thought "Oh I'll help push that when I get across the road" (I had to walk at DCs pace).

Before I got to the car, two other school mums appeared and shoved it out of the way into a side road. I was almost mildly disappointed at missing my chance to be a good Samaritan, and so clearly was a man of about 70 who had also come up prepared to help.

He said to me with a broad grin "Well, I'm all in favour of Women's Lib!" and then went on his way.

I had to smile because it was the first time I had heard the phrase Women's Lib for about 30 years.

Bless him, just as well he didn't get to the car at the same time as the two mums, they'd have probably told him to sit down and leave it to them.

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 13:38:39


were you at least wearing your apron?

MadAsFish Sun 03-Nov-13 13:36:02

Born to it, coming from a long line of turnip-hoeing, gruel-eating Scottish peasants. We're all short, squat muscular people in my family.

Me so pretty.

BlueJess Sun 03-Nov-13 13:35:38

My MIL got in a terrible flap recently when my DH and I unloaded a van full of furniture into our house. She kept going on about jow heavy it must be and why didn't we wait for my FIL so that BlueJess doesn't have to lift it.

She didn't offer to help at all. My FIL was also annoyed when he arrived that we hadn't waited.

If it had my Mum in the house she might also have said 'ooh that's looks heavy' but she would have pitched in to help.

I didn't expect my MIL to help but could have done without the handwringing.

I love my MIL, she's great but for over 20 years she's been telling everyone how independent BlueJess is.

Pretty sure it's not a compliment... grin

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 13:31:03

a plumber came to fix our toilet and doubted if I know how to use a ^screwdriver"!grin

I would have let them carry stuff. saves my back!

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 13:17:04

Our boobs must get in the way, is the only logical thing I can think of.

I tip my sofas, move beds, pull out washing machines to clean properly. Carry a 4 year old who has hurt themself and also bump started cars ect.

But to carry a big box from argos I must be wonder women.

SarahBumBarer Sun 03-Nov-13 11:57:22

Yabu and anyone who tells my husband differently will be in trouble!

I like my feminism selectively.

LimitedEditionLady Sun 03-Nov-13 11:54:35

Hahahaha when oh tries flatpack he claims bits are missing and it wont fit.......this has never bern the case.he also is thinks NOTHING can fit in the car.its a large hatchback.i could fit actual people in the boots.

lljkk Sat 02-Nov-13 19:52:48

I see this from other view; a lot of women assume they can't do anything heavy so don't even try. Maybe that's what they are commenting on & applauding the fact that you are happy to roll up sleeves & give it a try.

MrsMac86 Sat 02-Nov-13 19:42:36

I completely agree. I asked on of the bar staff to move the empty barrels out of the cellar the other day and he said he had done it but couldn't move the full ones in to place. I did it for him. He was most pissed off. <smug>

BlueStones Sat 02-Nov-13 19:38:51

I dunno, it perhaps depends on size. I'm very small, and men generally can move things that I struggle with. I gave been more annoyed when male colleagues have watched me bust a gut without offering to help!

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