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to think a woman carrying heavy furniture isn't remarkable?

(56 Posts)
misspontypine Fri 01-Nov-13 21:04:22

Me and dp went to collect our new sofa today, it's a largish corner bed sofa. It came in 3 bits.

Me and dp live on the 4th floor and we have no lift.

3 separate neighbors came and said things like "well done for choosing such a strong wife!" "were non of your mates free to help you?" "let ne help, I know I have a bad back but your not going to manage that without help, misspontypine can hold open the door."

I'm not especially strong, average I'd imagine, I have a chunky toddler that a carry lug around all day, I guess that helps with stamina.

Aibu to expect in this day in age it shouldn't just be men that are expected to carry heavy things?

nokidshere Sat 02-Nov-13 18:40:27

I'm perfectly capable of lugging furniture and lifting boxes, but not stupid enough to carry on doing so when there is a man wanting to think I am so weak that he can show me how macho he is grin

LessMissAbs Sat 02-Nov-13 18:42:47

I've moved many a piece of heavy furniture, with and without DH.

But there are many sexist attitudes about. I simply counter with "you must know a very odd selection of women then"!

bamboobutton Sat 02-Nov-13 18:48:51

I had something similar with dh and wood chopping.

I was happily chopping logs into kindling when dh came along and came over all manly and insisted he do it.
I don't think he has used an axe in his life, I have been doing it since mum decided I was old enough to use an axe. he made a right pigs ear of my kindling.

dh is also banned from flat pack assembly, so much quicker, easier and stress free when I do it myself.

Didactylos Sat 02-Nov-13 19:03:28

I used to do some work for a charity and we were building a float for a parade eg nailing bits of old crap to someones lorry for a themed place to dance on.

and a chap took the nail and hammer out of my hand because obviously I would be incapable of such things. After watching him flailing about for 2-3 minutes singularly failing to get the nail even set in the wood (! how hard is that?) I took it off him again and with big theatrical movements showed him how to do it properly. I might be short and slight but im a dab hand at carpentry and have done floors, sarked and slated roofs, even a bit of finishing joinery though I dont have much patience for it.

NicknameIncomplete Sat 02-Nov-13 19:26:47

The job i do requires A LOT of heavy lifting & about 80% of the staff are women & can do the job better than the men.

paxtecum Sat 02-Nov-13 19:32:53

Leezl: Heavy lifting can cause a womb prolapse.

BlueStones Sat 02-Nov-13 19:38:51

I dunno, it perhaps depends on size. I'm very small, and men generally can move things that I struggle with. I gave been more annoyed when male colleagues have watched me bust a gut without offering to help!

MrsMac86 Sat 02-Nov-13 19:42:36

I completely agree. I asked on of the bar staff to move the empty barrels out of the cellar the other day and he said he had done it but couldn't move the full ones in to place. I did it for him. He was most pissed off. <smug>

lljkk Sat 02-Nov-13 19:52:48

I see this from other view; a lot of women assume they can't do anything heavy so don't even try. Maybe that's what they are commenting on & applauding the fact that you are happy to roll up sleeves & give it a try.

LimitedEditionLady Sun 03-Nov-13 11:54:35

Hahahaha when oh tries flatpack he claims bits are missing and it wont fit.......this has never bern the case.he also is thinks NOTHING can fit in the car.its a large hatchback.i could fit actual people in the boots.

SarahBumBarer Sun 03-Nov-13 11:57:22

Yabu and anyone who tells my husband differently will be in trouble!

I like my feminism selectively.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 13:17:04

Our boobs must get in the way, is the only logical thing I can think of.

I tip my sofas, move beds, pull out washing machines to clean properly. Carry a 4 year old who has hurt themself and also bump started cars ect.

But to carry a big box from argos I must be wonder women.

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 13:31:03

a plumber came to fix our toilet and doubted if I know how to use a ^screwdriver"!grin

I would have let them carry stuff. saves my back!

BlueJess Sun 03-Nov-13 13:35:38

My MIL got in a terrible flap recently when my DH and I unloaded a van full of furniture into our house. She kept going on about jow heavy it must be and why didn't we wait for my FIL so that BlueJess doesn't have to lift it.

She didn't offer to help at all. My FIL was also annoyed when he arrived that we hadn't waited.

If it had my Mum in the house she might also have said 'ooh that's looks heavy' but she would have pitched in to help.

I didn't expect my MIL to help but could have done without the handwringing.

I love my MIL, she's great but for over 20 years she's been telling everyone how independent BlueJess is.

Pretty sure it's not a compliment... grin

MadAsFish Sun 03-Nov-13 13:36:02

Born to it, coming from a long line of turnip-hoeing, gruel-eating Scottish peasants. We're all short, squat muscular people in my family.

Me so pretty.

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 13:38:39


were you at least wearing your apron?

BalloonSlayer Sun 03-Nov-13 13:38:59

I was walking to school the other day and I saw a car that had conked out blocking a junction. I thought "Oh I'll help push that when I get across the road" (I had to walk at DCs pace).

Before I got to the car, two other school mums appeared and shoved it out of the way into a side road. I was almost mildly disappointed at missing my chance to be a good Samaritan, and so clearly was a man of about 70 who had also come up prepared to help.

He said to me with a broad grin "Well, I'm all in favour of Women's Lib!" and then went on his way.

I had to smile because it was the first time I had heard the phrase Women's Lib for about 30 years.

Bless him, just as well he didn't get to the car at the same time as the two mums, they'd have probably told him to sit down and leave it to them.

Hassled Sun 03-Nov-13 13:39:20

I think we build up strength from all the toddler-carrying. I saw a very pregnant woman yesterday carrying a very large small child with no obvious problem and marvelled at it.

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 13:43:33


no-one offered to carry my 2 stone 1-year-old when I was 6m pg with DS3!

shame, he was bloody heavy and I had PSD!

BlueJess Sun 03-Nov-13 13:46:25

Zing no, sadly I wasn't. Do you think that would have helped?

EeyoreIsh Sun 03-Nov-13 13:47:32

I've not been allowed to lift a thing since getting pregnant and I think my arms are wasting away. I'm looking forward to carrying a baby and it's paraphernalia around so I can regain my lost muscles!

I cleared some gutters at the front of the house last autumn. The number of comments I got was quite ridiculous.

Justforlaughs Sun 03-Nov-13 13:48:51

My DF is like this as well. He has had a bad back in the past and insists that he is far more capable of lifting things than I am confused. There was "no way" that I would be able to put an armchair into my car, it was far too heavy - hmm. My 14yo DD on the other hand is incredible! She puts me to shame.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Sun 03-Nov-13 13:54:27

I work in a Hotel and will often get calls to request luggage assistance. I always get the "Oh were there no men free" when I turn up.

I am a short arse but can lift a heavy load and usually take a trolley too so minimal effort involved. Get good tips tho!

TheBreastmilksOnMe Sun 03-Nov-13 14:04:58

I have absoloutly no qualms about men believing that they are stronger than me and offering to rescue me from some large heavy item whilst I stand back and smile to myself. I am lazy though.

ZingWantsCake Sun 03-Nov-13 14:14:05


yes, apron and a pretty ribbon in your hair would have given the right message of "I'm dainty but need is must" grin

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