I can't believe I'm starting this thread, because I can't believe it's going to really be happening. My BIL is marrying his partner. She got a civil partnership with him 10 years ago, after he proposed, because she doesn't believe in marriage. They have two children.
She didn't come to our wedding at the last minute because her 6 month old had reflux (DH's sis gave birth a month before our wedding and made the effort - which I thanked her for again after I'd had my first!!), insisted her son be a page boy, refused to dress him in what the other boy was wearing (I was paying and it was a grey suit), sent him in a Mickey Mouse tie and got given the top layer of our wedding cake (ok, not her fault, but we were planning on saving it and she didn't deserve it!).
Now, sort-of SIL has form for being a witch ..um.. manipulative cow ..umm, not very nice in general, but to me in particular and when people aren't around to witness. DH is totally on board, can't stand her, knows what she's like and is the only person in the family who will stand up to her, but can't do it as often as he'd like, because his family think he's making trouble (even though they agree with the reason!). Her kids are the most important in the family, the most musical, cleverest, most difficult to deal with (thereby making her a "super mum" - her words - for dealing with them - she was going to write a book about dealing with difficult children, detailing all her troubles - riveting reading, I'm sure!).
They are French (DH is French) and the civil partnership in France is nearly the same as a civil wedding, with inheritance being the main difference and tax an issue too, but not huge.
So, WHAT IS THE POINT IN GETTING MARRIED (BIL hasn't come into money and isn't about to die)?! The only thing that makes sense to us is that it's about attention. I had my "big day" (I didn't actually view it like that), our SIL had hers and now, at age 43, or thereabouts, she wants hers. If it was just about their relationship, there's no need to do a big white wedding. As every family event ends up being about her anyway, this is going to be utter hell. And it's already started..theirs is going to be the "biggest wedding".
I would laugh, if I didn't have to be involved, hear about it and could get out of going.
DHs family are too scared of confrontation to stand up to her, so this will get messy.
I'd love to say that I'm happy for them, and I am happy for BIL, because it's what he wanted, but I'm already stressed. I'm going to have to play happy families and pretend I'm super happy for them (her) and that this is some magical event, rather than what we all know it is and nobody will say to her or BIL. We don't even live in the same country, but bloody Skype "brings us all closer"!
It's kind of like The Emperor's New Clothes: everybody knows what it's about and everyone pretends not to. If they'd just said they'd never had a big party and wanted to have all their friends and family there, I'd be a lot more positive.
Give me strength, mumsnetters, please! And if you know who I am in real life, email me (or send me a bottle of something strong). The wedding's in August, so I'm going to need some help in the next months!
AIBU?
want to shoot myself now (wedding related)
cantreachmytoes · 29/10/2013 21:59
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
It's simple either 1. Book a holiday away or 2. Get pregnant ... That should just about get you out if it 
Stop telling her not to go! Whats wrong with you lot. Think of all the great Bridezilla threads cantreachmytoes can start
Have you written about her before? Something rings a bell 
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Forty, I think you've solved op's outfit for the wedding .
I hear us op. my SIL is very similar to yours, everything is about her, she's competitive in the extreme, very rude and unkind to me. I started a thread about her recently because my hatred for her is taking over my life.
I've no advice really because I don't know how to cure myself of the evil SIL except to cut her out of my life completely but I'm guessing that's not an option for you.
I see threads all the time about these kind if people - you'd think their personality type would be rare but seems not.
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forty
You hate her. We get it.
Don't go. Or go and drink her wine and food and be true to your feelings (rude). All those options will make you feel better
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