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Wibu? Was he? Or is it just to be expected?

(84 Posts)
EngineeringExcellence Tue 29-Oct-13 18:22:11

U took my 2 DSs and a friend each swimming today. They swam for 2+ hours and we lleft just after 5pm. Journey home is less than 10min.

As we left one of the friends asked "are we going to McDs or somewhere? No I said we're going home. "can we have something from the cafe then?" and then the vending machine.

WIBU not to offer food? It wasn't part of the invite and I was taking them to their own homes for tea. I know youre hungry when you get out of the pool but he only had 10mins to wait..


RiceBurner Wed 30-Oct-13 20:43:52

YWNBU. I think you were absolutely right to ignore/dismiss the child's requests for food/drink after swimming. (And I totally agee with what Notmadeofrib said!)

trixymalixy Wed 30-Oct-13 20:36:26

We always had a snack after swimming when I was a child, I was always ravenous.

My 2 get to spend the locker money in the vending machine afterwards. DS is underweight partly due to a restricted diet and always manages to eat his lunch as well.

Retroformica Wed 30-Oct-13 20:27:03

Banana if you have to wait any longer then 30 mins to eat

SaucyJack Wed 30-Oct-13 19:15:42

YANBU to not get sucked into the habit of consuming massive amounts of shite everytime you leave the house.

I would've taken a few cartons of drink for afterwards tho.

soontobemumofthree Wed 30-Oct-13 19:07:41

I think it was generous to take swimming, and going swimming does not imply that you'd be getting him food/a meal afterwards.

If you had invited him for tea after swimming, he still wouldn't need a junk food snack, as he'd be having his tea at yours.

cory Wed 30-Oct-13 19:01:57

Why is tight not to assume that every outing has to involve a snack before you get home? It never used to be that way: people used to eat at mealtimes and drink water in between. And were a lot healthier for it.

Sparklysilversequins Wed 30-Oct-13 18:53:22

I'd have taken snacks and drinks or got them something. Anything else seems rather tight imo.

livingzuid Wed 30-Oct-13 18:42:18

Good for you. And I don't understand why after having exercised children for two hours or even after any exercise at all you'd stuff them full of McDonalds or crisps, chips and chocolate junk thereby negating the whole point of going for exercise in the first place. That is judgemental I know but I honestly can't connect the two.

soontobemumofthree Wed 30-Oct-13 16:04:08

I'd feel hungry after 2 hours swimming, he probably was hungry but that's good as he is going home to have his tea!! At 11 years he is a bit old to be asking that many times too, but maybe that is what they do in his house.

diddl Wed 30-Oct-13 15:50:59


All this "instant gratification"

No wonder kids are so selfish/thoughtless!

noddingoff Wed 30-Oct-13 15:20:53

oh I feel myself coming over all pedantic and repeating what my mum used to say to me when I was little and said that I was starving. "You are not starving. Children in the Ethiopian famine are starving. You are merely hungry".
Not a bad idea to be immune to the pestering and help break the "done a bit of exercise, now stuff face with crap food" habit

somewheresomehow Wed 30-Oct-13 15:19:33

imo just because a kid is hungry is doesn't mean they need to be fed there and then especially as you were only 10 mins from home, the kids were 11 so they were not going to keel over just because they were refused over priced drink and chocolate from the vending machine. He should learn a few manners.

cory Wed 30-Oct-13 12:52:26

If he had been on a sports outing with his school in the morning which finished with a short trip back for school for lunch, his teachers would hardly have felt obliged to rush him out to McDonald's because he couldn't wait those 10 minutes. Nor would his school lunch have been served earlier just because he was hungry after doing exercise. If the event had been after lunch he would have been expected to contain his pangs of hunger until school finished and he got home.

Stop press news: secondary school children are regularly (=5 days a week) expected to cope for more than two hours at a stretch without refreshments. Every school day involves more than two hours on either side of lunch. Even on PE days. And after schol pupils have to make their way home before they can get fed. Every single day. If this was in any way dangerous or bad for them, I expect we would have noticed before now.

EngineeringExcellence Wed 30-Oct-13 12:25:23

No Steal but I might ask him to wait 5 min while i finished what i was doing (hanging out washing, cleaning bathroom etc) Anyway he wasn't asking for a drink. And I wouldn't feed him just before taking him home for his tea.

cory Wed 30-Oct-13 09:00:34

But Stealmysunshine, he did have access to a drink: there was a water fountain. It has been mentioned in several posts. He was not at any risk of dehydration.

What the OP might not have done if the boy had been playing at her house for 2 hours and was on his way home to tea would have been to have rushed him out to McDonald's on request. Which is a better analogy.

Stealmysunshine Wed 30-Oct-13 08:54:34

If he had been playing at your house for 2 hours and asked for a drink, would you have made him one or told him to wait until he got home?

cory Wed 30-Oct-13 08:49:57

The child may have asked in all innocence, though I really do think 11 is rather old to be asking such a question without realising that it sounds like a request. This is something his parents should have taught him- and frankly at that age it's something he should be able to work out for himself.

The rude bit comes after he asked and the OP said no: it was the fact that he kept on pestering (but what about the cafe, the wending machine). An 11yo should know that while you may pester in your own family you just don't do it when you are out with somebody else.

fanjofarrow Wed 30-Oct-13 08:33:03

It wouldn't have occurred to me to be so damn cheeky at that age, and my mum would have had something to say if she'd heard about it! Mind you, that's probably because I was raised not to demand things from friends' parents when they took me out.

bigkidsdidit Wed 30-Oct-13 08:16:46

I wasn't replying to you newt smile

NewtRipley Wed 30-Oct-13 06:58:24

Wow, my last post was nonsensical grin

The child asked because he thought it would be nice and probably it's a routine he is familiar with, the OP said No, for her own reasons.

I'm saying that the child's not unusual

NewtRipley Wed 30-Oct-13 06:56:47


Of course they won't expire! I'm not saying that. I don't think the child asked for nutritional reasons .. The child asked not many 11 year old, the OP answered NO (hopefully explaining why) No biggie.

bigkidsdidit Wed 30-Oct-13 06:53:14

They were 10 minutes from home! This is why the majority of children we fat. They won't expire if they have to wait 10 minutes and have a normal dinner rather than chips and hot chocolate.

ballstoit Wed 30-Oct-13 06:52:44

IME of 11 year old boys, you could have taken him to McDs, then to Pizza Hut and for a carvery, and he'd still have eaten dinner grin

However, YWNBU to not feed him, and a drink might have been appreciated but wasn't essential. He WNBU to ask once, but should have accepted no the first time you said it.

NewtRipley Wed 30-Oct-13 06:41:18

"We always had a drink and a snack after swimming - when kids have been in the pool for 2 hours they're starving. You say money wasn't an issue, so why not buy them all a drink and some crisps or a chocolate bar. After 2 hours in the pool that's not going to touch the sides, let alone put them off their dinner.

I think you were a bit po-faced about it actually.

Without being there, it's a bit hard to know if he was rude - or 'just asking' because it's what his family does & he was starving.
Add message | Report | Message poster"

I agree with this Chipping

NewtRipley Wed 30-Oct-13 06:35:17

Most people I know have a snack after swimming - I'm ravenous after swimming, and the DCs I know normally are too. It's a bit of a ritual and a bit of a treat. Probably for him too.

Bit cheeky for him to ask, but I don't think it's worth getting aerated about

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