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to hate this desciption of David Tennants family?

(109 Posts)
Bogeyface Sun 27-Oct-13 22:31:14

I have noticed that it has happened to Dawn French and Lenny Henry too, but reading about DT earlier prompted me to post.

Reading an article about his new TV series and it said that he was a father of 2 with his wife and "adoptive father" of her eldest child. So......father of 3 then?

DF and LH have always been described as having an adopted child, rather than having a child. Why?

A family is a family regardless of how it comes about and emotionally and legally DT is that childs father, so why make the distinction? Who's business is it and really, who cares?

AIBU to think that the media should stop doing this as it fosters the belief that an adopted child is somehow different from a biological child. In this age of blended families, it seems especially ridiculous to make distinctions.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 17-Jul-14 02:47:47

small Canadian town? It's a city and the capital of the Province, don't you know? We loved having DT here BTW. We all stalked him but to no avail.

GoodgriefGBhasinvaded Thu 17-Jul-14 02:26:43

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Thu 10-Jul-14 07:35:26

What is joint physical custody? It's not a thing in this country. There is shared care, or regular contact with a NRP. IF THE CHILD CONTINUES TO HAVE CONTACT WITH HIS STEPDAD oops caps that's a good thing but doesn't negate DT being his dad. Remember the whole family will have been assessed prior to the adoption order and if the child already had a dad figure who the whole family considered the dad the adoption wouldn't have been approved as that would be too weird and confusing for the child.

Expatmomma Thu 10-Jul-14 05:52:26

Speaking as an adult who was adopted at the age of 6 weeks... The use of the word is hurtful to a child.

In the 70s parents who had adopted were told by the adoption agencies to introduce their child as their "adoptive child".

Everytime I heard that as a young child I felt like a 2nd class citizen and that I had been kicked in the stomach.

It would make me feel I was not as worthy or important as non adopted children.

So yes I totally agree that you are not being unreasonable.

JPenny Thu 10-Jul-14 00:54:56

Message deleted by MNHQ at the OP's request.

insomniagirl Mon 07-Jul-14 04:22:43

Oh shit! Sorry I thought this thread was on page 2. Not sure how I did that. Blame the sodding don't work but make me a zombie (irony!) anyway bloody sleeping pills for that.

Name changing now.

insomniagirl Mon 07-Jul-14 04:20:08

Name changing from real name because I work in TV and don't want to get in trouble.

In principle I agree it's loathsome to single out adopted children. But I wonder if the press are making a point. Like how so many articles about Hugh Bonneville make really pointed comments about what a devoted family man he is, wink wink nudge nudge. Some celebs have adopted kids and the press don't bring it up all the time. Both Tom and Nicole and Dawn and Lenny's relationships were known to the tabloids to be troubled and that Tom Cruise was a weirdo Cultist years before they split. In David Tennant's case, great actor but weird personal life. I don't get the obsessively private stuff. I mean she's posting pics of him in his undies on her FB while he's making her walk ten paces behind him so they aren't photographed together and walking out on interviewers just for mentioning her name!

They only started living together a couple of months before she gave birth, and there was a video on YouTube at one point of David unaware he was being filmed talking about how shocked he was when she told him she was pregnant. I'm not judging, lots of happy marriage including my own started from an accidental pregnancy. They conceived another child shortly after they married so it must have worked for them some at least. But there are lots of rumours, maybe tabloid BS, but a lot of talk about them having split up or their marriage being more of an arrangement than a real marriage. The Canadian press published photos of him (he moved to Canada for 6 months to film some TV show, his wife and kids stayed in the UK) labelled David Tennant and his girlfriend Sarah. Innocent photos but there have been rumours about him dating a woman named Sarah since last year.

David legally adopted his wife's son, but Georgia's ex-partner Adam who's also a TV actor (not the son's biological father, but the man who raised him from infancy) has joint physical custody. Georgia's said in loads of interviews they all consider Adam to be the boy's real dad and that he's the man he calls dad. So David might be his legal father, but emotionally and in practical terms he might not be. Or he might consider them both his dads jointly. Adoption and blended families can be really complex and we don't have adequate language for it yet. Personally I think it's great he adopted the boy. But it's pretty shitty that she had to go through most of her pregnancy with their daughter alone and then he buggered off to another country for half a year with a tiny baby at home. Georgia deserves a bloody medal for it.

usuallyright Wed 30-Oct-13 14:29:32

I hate this distinction.
Adopted children are the same as bio children; they're your children, end of. No need for separate distinction.
I also hate the term 'half brother/sister' because you share the same mother but different father, or other way around. They're your sister or your brother, not a half brother/sister.

Devora Wed 30-Oct-13 14:04:19

Green Velvet, I'm sure you are not adopted or an adopter or you would realise the implications of your post. It is of course true that adopted children affect family dynamics and that genes count. But that's true of everybody, isn't it? Your post only makes sense as an explanation of this kind of journalism if we believe that the way adopted children affect family dynamics and the kind of genes these children bring are understood by us all.

In other words, you are saying that adopted children are trouble. Which chimes perfectly with what an awful lot of people say, often to our faces and in front of our kids.

So you'll find some of us a little sensitive on the issue. This is my child. She is not a bolt-on, a dynamic or a ticking time bomb. She does?how ever, have a lot to deal with in terms of being seen as 'different' by the outside world and constant little reminders that she is not considered fully valid or valued are fantastically unhelpful.

MaryZombie Wed 30-Oct-13 10:20:41

It's comments like GreenVelvet's that really piss me off.

<wonders if she is my sil>

Thurlow Wed 30-Oct-13 10:07:42

On a similar note, I know I should read the Daily Fail but I did - I've never liked Caprice but fair play to her, two sons just a month apart as one was with a surrogate. She's managing to breastfeed both. Quite impressive. But I bet those boys spend their whole life being described in terms of the surrogacy, even though they are both biologically Caprice and her husband's sons.

Thurlow Wed 30-Oct-13 10:05:17

That's awful. I hadn't realised that was how they were referring to the oldest child sad If the eldest is adopted, he's the child's father.

I get similarly annoyed when papers go out of their way to refer to civil partners as 'same-sex civil partner' or 'gay partner' etc. At the moment you can only be a civil partner if you are the same sex. There's no need to go into any more bloody detail!

Lighthousekeeping Wed 30-Oct-13 10:03:52

People like Nicole Kidman make a show of it though. They are that big and interesting that they think the world wants to know. Even when the child was born through a surrogate Nicole was on twitter straight away. So who is to blame if the press mention it?

David Tennant is more under the radar and protects his privacy so I agree that it's no-ones business.

MrPricklepants Wed 30-Oct-13 09:51:52

They do this with Nicole Kidman. Mother of 4. Adopted 2 and 1 born by surrogate. They do it everytime.

If the eldest child is adopted by David Tennant then he is the father, simple as.

Very annoying.

ThePitOfStupid Wed 30-Oct-13 09:49:33

If the eldest child's biological father was against the adoption, it would not have happened.

fromparistoberlin Wed 30-Oct-13 09:46:34

maybe eldest child has a father already???? not sure why this grates on this instance

but agree ref Kidman/Jolie Pitt-

PresidentServalan Wed 30-Oct-13 08:31:11

And actually DT IS amazing for adopting Tyler. It's not slebs worship, just that it is a wonderful thing for someone to do.

Devora Wed 30-Oct-13 07:10:08

Green Velvet, what does knowing someone is adopted tell you about their family dynamics? And, er, genes are a strong influence on what? You clearly think that knowing someone is adopted tells you other things about them; can you explain what?

GreenVelvet Wed 30-Oct-13 00:46:15

And genes are strong influence. Why deny it?

GreenVelvet Wed 30-Oct-13 00:44:25

It creates a different family dynamic, thats all.

GreenVelvet Wed 30-Oct-13 00:43:36

It creates a different family dynamic, thats all.

Bogeyface Wed 30-Oct-13 00:04:37

Manic I know what you are saying but as several PPs have said, its like the adopted child is an afterthought so not so much that he is being lauded for doing it, but "oh yeah, he adopted some kid too" like the adopted child is a second class child compared to his biological children.

In the RT the eldest wasnt mentioned at all!

manicinsomniac Tue 29-Oct-13 23:46:04


But I assume it's something to do with the media wanting to encourage 'sleb' worship - 'oh look at wonderful X, he/she adopted aren't they great role models, bow, scrape, grovel.'

Lilka Tue 29-Oct-13 23:06:25

Devora - haha! I was sitting there a bit bemused wondering how in 3 years of adoption conversations, that had slipped me by grin

I knew a girl who had to give her baby for adoption, she lived near me, I must have been about 8 at the time. I remember her being pregnant, my parents talking and her going away and coming back un-pregnant and baby-less, which really confused me. I still remember her and feel so sad for her. This was the early 70's, you know the years the papers always mention when talking the latest adoption statistics, as if the number of adoptions in 1972 has any relevence whatsoever to the number of adoptions today

Bogeyface Tue 29-Oct-13 22:53:06

BTW how cool would it be to have a Dr Who as both your dad and grandad?

Just noticed this and technically they are Doctor Who³ because their dad and grandad were both Doctors and so is their mum because she was created from the Doctors DNA (in the episode where their mum and dad met)!

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