Me and the SO have been fighting for awhile. I don't think he spends enough time with our son (he barely sees him at all and they live in the same house...) he says 'of course I spend time with him, I'm home all the time except this past week' and yeah, sure he's home. But he sits on the opposite side of the room and tells me 'well you're closer to him', so he doesn't have to get up and do anything for the baby.
This week... this week pissed me off. He's not supposed to be working, but he still takes mechanic jobs sometimes and that's cool, whatever, I guess, even though I disapprove. But he was gone this ENTIRE week working on cars. Gone before the baby woke up, back after the baby went to bed. I was livid. ESPECIALLY when the baby started saying 'dada dada dada' and looking around. I was heartbroken.
What really pissed me off though was he took the weekend off...TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS OTHER SON. He has a 5 year old from a previous relationship, our LO is 8 months old. His excuse was that 'he only gets to see his other son two days a week' and I pointed out that he hadn't even seen OUR son in a week. Of course that made him angry and defensive and we've been fighting about it all damn day. He decided to stick around the house today instead of him taking his son out and finally spent some time with our LO. But still, he managed to spend MORE time with his other son, completely ignoring our LO at times.
I'm too the end of my rope with this. It's breaking my heart to see him treat our son like this.
Also, Tomorrow is my birthday and HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW. This, of course, completely ruined any fun I might have had tomorrow anyway. Whatever though. We spent about an hour arguing over text when he took his son home. and he turned it from me explaining why I'm angry to him belittling me, pointing out all of my flaws, calling me lazy (which yeah, sometimes I really am but I've had PPD for awhile too, which he could care less about). Then starts telling me what I need to do in order for him to not end the relationship.
Um...excuse me? You're giving me ultimatums like I care? Leave, I'm acting like a single mother anyway.
My problem is this: I can't drive, I chose to stay home with the baby so I don't have a job and I'm planning on going to college at the beginning of the year (January, not school year lol). I'm completely dependent on him right now and he knows it.
AIBU?
To think my SO is in the wrong?
Firebomb · 27/10/2013 01:04
Not being able to drive does not make you "dependent on him" 
I can't drive, I chose to give up trying to learn years ago, and I have managed to get a degree, and a masters degree, and have five children, all without ever being "dependent" on anything other than public transport...
I have always been pleased and grateful if and when anyone has offered me a lift somewhere, but it has never ever been the only way I could get somewhere, and lack of a lift has never ever stopped me doing anything I needed/really wanted to do.
That said, you sound like you resent his other son, and that is not really fair - the lad didn't ask to be born and have his Daddy leave and have another son with someone else, and I daresay your DP is torn between the two of them, and got a bit irate when it sounded like you were "against" him seeing his other child iyswim.
Maybe other son's mam is moaning too for whatever reason, and DP doesn't know what to do or say to either of you - he is "just a bloke" and juggling a job, and extra work, and two sons in different places is quite a lot on his plate, especially if he has money worries - presumably he pays child support for his other son, and you and he have a home so there are bills to be paid - it must be pretty stressful even without anyone "getting at him" as he sees it, not that you OR other son's mam necessarily are as such, but it might seem like it to DP, and he may well feel that all he gets is grief.
If you have PND that might be worrying him too, and your son only being 8 months old, chances are you are both sleep deprived and knackered and snappy with each other...
Maybe because DP lives with you and Ds, he just doesn't cotton on that time at work or generally "out" is time not spent with your DS, especially if his time with his other DS is "officially limited" iyswim.
Just my advice (and worth exactly what you paid me for it! 
) is to take a step back, and a deep breath, and just consider what DP juggle every week/month with everything he has going on, and then decide what you would want him to do to make things "right" again, then talk to him about it...
It's either that or pack his bags, boot his arse, and get on with life as a single parent...
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