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To think that my mother should visit us & grandchildren when she comes to this country?

(30 Posts)
goldie81 Sat 26-Oct-13 19:57:33

My mother moved abroad few urs back. She comes over couple times a yr to do some work etc. this time I didn't know she was over & she managed to visit my sis & all my brothers! Even my kids said why has she not been to
Visit and seriously questioning why. AIBU to think she should come visit grand kids? She hasn't work to go home to so could have stayed here and seen kids even if meant going back a day later

HissyFucker Sat 26-Oct-13 23:21:39

Meant to say, I did know she was moving, and to which bit of the country, but everything else was a secret, apparently.

Therapy and toxic parents book helps. A bit.

goldie81 Sat 26-Oct-13 23:49:02

Wow- hissy you're strong!
It's so hard & sad yet what choice do we have?
Some people should not be allowed to have kids !

HissyFucker Sun 27-Oct-13 00:12:12

Ha ha, don't feel strong, feel mostly that I fucked up, or that I must be an awful person somehow, but I know (when rational) that it was them that chose their actions, I can only choose my response.

Looking at what my childhood caused, I think if i'd have been raised by wolves it couldn't have turned out much worse, surely!

I've chosen not to accept treatment like this, from any of them.

I won't have abuse, manipulation, emotional blackmail in my life, and certainly not in the life of the gorgeous little chap currently snuffling beside me.

She hurt him too, you know? Pulled a stunt on his birthday. I have no regrets about isolating us both from her.

Sadly, he remembers his last birthday, when she made him wear his too tight birthday clothes that she bought him, and wouldn't let him take them off, even though he asked 3 times as they were hurting him.

I remind myself of that, each time I lose some resolve.

It's surreal isn't it? You look at these people and wonder wtaf.

Onwards and upwards eh? smile

maddy68 Sun 27-Oct-13 07:28:16

If she is working while she is here perhaps she only had limited time to herself so maybe she could only fit in one visit? clutching at straws

goldie81 Sun 27-Oct-13 22:02:41

Thanks maddy! I would have put down to that but realistically nothing to get home to so she could quite easily fly back a day later & come & see us!

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