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To expect to be called my married name and not my maiden name ?!

(106 Posts)
thursdaysgirls Fri 25-Oct-13 09:39:36

Got married in August. ]

Changed my name with GPs, dentist, both banks, etc etc.

Gets a letter from hospital last week "Miss C Blue" for example when I am now "Mrs C Red".

Its probably the lack of sleep but I almost cried this morning when calling the GP for an appointment to be told "We dont have a Mrs Red on the system, but your details match up with Miss Blue, is that you?"

SO frustrating. I'm totally PMSing this week too.

AnyFuckerReporting Wed 30-Oct-13 19:40:12

I got married in July and am having the same problems grin.

I feel almost embarrassed to correct people as it isn't really a big deal but it matters to me iykwim.

GobbolinoCat Wed 30-Oct-13 19:29:14

I just take it as a given now that people have not changed me over, esp the dentist.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Wed 30-Oct-13 19:28:10

In this case, it's just a change of name after a marriage.

I know of someone who went through a lot, she changed her name and 300 miles away in hope her ex could never trace her. A simple thing like a GP or bank not changing her name and having a letter posted to her would had made her a nervous wreck.

FreeWoooooooo Wed 30-Oct-13 17:55:47

heartisaspade what I'm saying is that if it matters to the OP pointing out stuff like "well would you rather they got your blood tests right or your name right?" isn't particularly helpful to someone with bipolar. Actually I don't think it's too much to ask that they get both things right. And some might say if they can't get the small stuff like name changes right, who's to say they get the blood test results right? In fact, how can the OP even be sure they're her test results if they don't submit them in the name she gave them or they might not release them to her over the phone because there's confusion over her identity?

Councils have had to trade services rather than provide their own because (in my experience in my local council) the services were badly run under public sector leadership and weren't meeting customer needs. So they are now traded, i.e. the council commissions an outside, possibly private often not for profit, company to provide the service. The council still has responsibility for meeting the customer needs and if the company they've commissioned doesn't meet targets then the contract can be withdrawn. So we haven't really privatised our council services, they're just being provided through an externally commissioned contract rather than internally commissioned. And often the performance measures required by the contracts include customer satisfaction levels. I am a bit fan of being asked to rate services because I know (because it's me doing it!) that the data is analysed to provide better services in future and used in the tendering process of new contracts.

But it's not the GP's who keep the records really is it, it's the receptionists/admin bods. And from what I can see they have plenty of time in between greeting patients (with such a warm smile - sorry our surgery could do better) and answering the phone (half hour window only) when they could be updating any records - such as from someone going in six times with her marriage cert to check she is registered in her new married name?
I mean, you'd think they might remember that?

gintastic Mon 28-Oct-13 22:12:36

My full legal first name is one that 99.9% of the time is a male name (cheers Mum!). When I got to university, they had me down as Mr Gin Tastic, which I promptly wrote, with birth certificate, to get changed. They acknowledged it. 11 times over the next 4 years, I rewrote to them to try and change it and each time they said it had been done. I got a letter shortly after graduation congratulating me on my 1st Class Honours addresses to Mr Gin Tastic. I was v v v not amused at this point. Luckily, certificate just says Gin Tastic, with no title...

heartisaspade Mon 28-Oct-13 21:56:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Well said Wooooo
The NHS, though of course bloody marvellous, could be better in many ways.
And that's from someone who's been a nurse as well as a patient & visitor, (and chaplaincy ward visitor)

FreeWoooooooo Sun 27-Oct-13 14:04:26

heartisaspade I'm afraid I disagree that we shouldn't be seen as 'customers' which is why I used that term rather than patients and used ' ' to emphasise it. Just because we don't pay for the NHS at point of entry doesn't mean we shouldn't expect to receive a satisfactory service. We do pay for it through our taxes but to me that is beside the point; something that is free should still be satisfactory. If the OP wants to be called a certain name that is her right as a customer of the NHS. There are many people on this thread who (I think unfairly) are saying the OP should have bigger things to worry about and you echo this by saying the receptionist is too busy dealing with more important things than my name change. Important to who? Bigger things to worry about by whose standards? If the OP is in tears over something, telling her to 'get over it' or 'there's worse things that could be happening' is not helpful.

I am not a customer of Ryanair because they treat their passengers appalling, in my opinion. I don't have a choice with the NHS, they have a monopoly on GPs (and before anyone tells me you can get a private doctor to give you a private prescription a) why would I when I've paid for the NHS? b) my surgery is more convenient and 99% of the time is satisfactory) The NHS needs to wake up and realise just because they've always done things their way doesn't mean to say it's the right way. Councils are the same. As a public sector employee I've seen from the inside the dreadful way they treat their customers because their customers don't have a real choice over who does their child's school admission or who collects their council tax. Public sector employees have for too long got away with poor customer service. Why do they have such a bad reputation if there wasn't a grain if truth in that statement? Why are there regularly threads on MN complaining about GPs receptionists? Presumably because they don't provide a satisfactory service to a significant minority.

Before I get flamed for public sector bashing it is by no means all public sector employees and the vast majority go into the sector with great intentions and self sacrifice to serve their customers. The same with GPs receptionists. The one at my current surgery is fantastic. My DD and I feel really part of the surgery and she bends over backwards to accommodate us when necessary. However, if I take the time to ask for a name change, regardless of the other things the person has to do, it is respectful and courteous to carry out my wish. In the OPs example, she's changed her name with the bank etc and despite their important job of keeping billions of pounds of people's money safe, they've still managed to update her records with her new name. We are all customers and actually I don't think it's entitled to be provided with a satisfactory service. I'm not talking gold standard roll out the red carpet but a simple (heart would say trivial, I disagree with that term) admin change is actually no more than a customer deserves.

LRDtheFeministDragon Sun 27-Oct-13 10:40:30

Harsh comments on here - she's only upset, I can understand that.

It is frustrating - I have the same issue the opposite way around, with banks constantly reverting me to 'Mrs LRD' when they've been told I'm not Mrs LRD.

It is basically discourteous when people use the wrong name. In this situation, they have no excuse - you've been in, you've told them, they should bloody get their act together.

threestars Sun 27-Oct-13 10:18:33

The GP admin system is not linked up with the hospital system, so you need to tell the hospital separately. It's not difficult for them to do it, but they won't know unless told by you and they don't need a marriage certificate or anything.
Also, don't forget to update your next-of-kin details. I once worked in hospital admin (on a female ward) and made sure I asked patients to check those details - very often they would still have ex-husbands down and shuddered to think they'd be contacted in case of emergency.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne Sun 27-Oct-13 10:08:31

Op says she's been there six times with the proof
I would be raging by this point. It's a hassle going to the doctors anyway I suspect the op has enough on her plate not to keep going there when she seems to be ignored anyway.
The very fact that the op has hospital appointments gives a hint that all is not well so she probably doesn't need comments about how if this is the only problem she has...

differentnameforthis Sun 27-Oct-13 09:58:31

crying because someone hasn't updated a database with a name change is worthy of needing to get some perspective.

Or a different perspective

crying because someone hasn't updated a database with a name change could well be the result of much more than the op is telling us, so perhaps we could be a little more gentle & understanding?

fanjofarrow Sun 27-Oct-13 09:56:20

I'd never change my name and cringe at the thought of being addressed as ''Mrs''. However, if that's what the OP prefers, then fair enough! It's not a personal choice I'd make, but it's still a personal choice.

differentnameforthis Sun 27-Oct-13 09:51:52

Why can't people be nice? Do we have to be so rude & hurtful on here all the time?

You don't know what op has gone through, why she is so upset, yet people wade in & be rude, uncaring & insult her. Not nice people!

themaltesefalcon Sun 27-Oct-13 04:13:18

I think people should take more care to use people's names correctly.

It's common manners.

Caitlin17 Sun 27-Oct-13 04:06:12

I misread your post. I thought it was a complaint about not being able to use your maiden name. I literally cannot understand why anyone would prefer to be called ",Mrs"

Caitlin17 Sun 27-Oct-13 04:02:44

I don't understand why anyone would change their name. I didn't change my name on anything.

Thatisall Sun 27-Oct-13 01:29:28

Why do I keep posting too early???

Thatisall Sun 27-Oct-13 01:29:01

thursdays it pisses me off too. I can't explain why it matters so much, I just don't know. I think it's because I love my married name, I love being mrs and it was such a big deal for me to change it. When people don't use it it sometimes feels like they're overlooking my decision.

Have a cry. You're very tired and hormoney from the sound of it. And I don't know what the deleted comment said but ignore peo

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Sun 27-Oct-13 01:22:16

Do people really think the NHS is free?

Coupon Sat 26-Oct-13 13:08:33

> We're not paying for a service meaning that it's reasonable to gripe about every aspect of it.

We do pay for the NHS via our taxes.

Beastofburden Sat 26-Oct-13 13:02:49

The NHS will check identity by more than what is someone's preferred first name or most recent surname. They will have your address, contact details and national insurance number and your NHs hospital number.

The idea that they might get confused if they have more than one Betty and ring the wrong next of kin grin.

pinkyredrose Sat 26-Oct-13 12:33:06

What if the NHS need to notify next of kin in the case of administering medical treatment? It could matter a lot then?

pinkyredrose Sat 26-Oct-13 12:31:53

heart you don't think it's a big deal if the NHS gets someones name wrong?

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