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To expect to be called my married name and not my maiden name ?!

(106 Posts)
thursdaysgirls Fri 25-Oct-13 09:39:36

Got married in August. ]

Changed my name with GPs, dentist, both banks, etc etc.

Gets a letter from hospital last week "Miss C Blue" for example when I am now "Mrs C Red".

Its probably the lack of sleep but I almost cried this morning when calling the GP for an appointment to be told "We dont have a Mrs Red on the system, but your details match up with Miss Blue, is that you?"

SO frustrating. I'm totally PMSing this week too.

KhunZhoop Fri 25-Oct-13 10:50:22

Becca> biscuit

xCupidStuntx Fri 25-Oct-13 10:59:51

Ah jaysis I can see why it would be mildly irritating but crying over it?!
However, I totally sympathise with the PMS element because I suffer SEVERELY and have gone on a few totally uncalled for rants myself.
Calm yourself and breath!

Beccagain Fri 25-Oct-13 11:04:09

My first ever biscuit, thank you Khunzoop

Not too sure what I've done to deserve it, other than disagree with you, and to support someone who seemed to be in need of it but even so....

I wouldn't worry about that either Becca. Just enjoy it with a nice brew ?

Beccagain Fri 25-Oct-13 11:10:14

Juggling Lovely, thank you! Care to join me Thursdays?

meddie Fri 25-Oct-13 11:16:50

You know yabu to be upset but if youre in the middle of a menstrual meltdown then you have my sympathies. My DD gets them bad and once sobbed for 2hours because there wasnt a spoon in the drwaer for her breakfast, as her brother had used the last one.
Do you have any emergency chocolate?

Mim78 Fri 25-Oct-13 11:18:26

YANBU to ask them to call you by the name you have chosen.

But as others have said people will make mistakes and computer systems get things wrong. Probably better that they have failed to change name than address because at least you will still get all communications.

Don't worry about it though - you just need to keep telling them. Would be unfair if they were for some reason annoyed with you, but doesn't sound like that's the case.

CoffeeTea103 Fri 25-Oct-13 11:18:51

Please get back to the real world where stuff like this is insignificant compares to the real issues you can face.

Beccagain Fri 25-Oct-13 11:21:11

Could I just ever so gently point/repeat out that PMS (horrific though that is , iirc) is not the only condition that the OP has mentioned.


HexU Fri 25-Oct-13 11:22:51

Put it in writing again to the practice manager - state they have been informed of this several times since August ask them to ensure your medical records are updated.

I remember being very surprised how hard it all was to change my name upon marriage. I expect to have to inform people in writing with copies of marriage certificate - in fact got several extra copies cause I'd understood it would be an issue.

I didn't expect to have to inform the same people multiple times - or to have to insist on getting marriage certificate back from some and not them them keep it for 'their' records.

But there you are - once they get it right though that's it.

NotYoMomma Fri 25-Oct-13 11:23:07

I would just check it has changed across the different services etc

I didnt change my driving licence for 5 years oops!

mimsythemoocher Fri 25-Oct-13 11:32:41

Weirdly, my doctors now refers to me as "Miss Marriedname"...

KoPo Fri 25-Oct-13 11:43:50

Is it really so unimportant to the OP?

Some of the posters telling her its no big deal are the same posters who get the rage when a woman who has decided not to change her name with marriage is called by her husbands surname?

It is a big deal to the OP ( who has my complete symapathy for felling yucky if PMS is an issue) who has let the organisations in question know and still they use the wrong name.

I know on mumsnet it is considered by some to be uncool and very wrong to change your name with marriage. But we all have to realise that that is the way the OP has chosen to do things.

Dobbiesmum Fri 25-Oct-13 11:45:16

I still get post addressed to Miss maiden name, and I celebrate my 11th wedding anniversary next month grin
Changing your Surname is a total PITA and had I realised I would have probably kept my maiden name, as son as you think you've covered everything up pops something else and frankly I cannot be arsed to change every single sodding mailing list I appear to be on so I let it go. The surgery really does need to get it sorted though, I think it could cause problems if your details don't exactly match up.

YANBU. Chocolate and bed maybe? I am on the verge of a PMS meltdown myself so full sympathies to you x

NotYoMomma Fri 25-Oct-13 11:54:22

actually most responses seem to be from people who have also changed their name.

crying is a bit of an extreme reaction tbf

I would ring up and kick off OP, I needed to take id into my drs twice once for proof of address (I hadnt moved!) and once for the name change

annoying, but just get them told

Ginnytonic82 Fri 25-Oct-13 12:34:15

I got married last year and still can't get the hang of my new name. At appointments people say "Mrs Tonic" and I'm sat there thinking who the heck is that?

Try not to let it upset you, paperwork handover and changes take a long time, the AA still call me by my maiden name. When you feel stressed, try to remember your wonderful day.

thursdaysgirls Fri 25-Oct-13 13:05:08

Thanks to all for supportive mesaages.

As for getting some perspective on "real" things... I have BPD, thats real enough for me, do some research before telling me Im a drama queen. Considering that 8 days ago it was the anniversary of the death of a child in the family (husbands 4 week old from previous relationship) I think I have enough real trauma in my life, thanks. (Not to mention the PTSD and abusive childhood with a druggie mother) I could say more but I think I will leave it there.

Will ask receptionist at GPs when I get there and go down the list and double check.

thursdaysgirls Fri 25-Oct-13 13:07:12

Im also gonna head up the Mozzas bakery aisle on the way home.. Get me some cake. All to myself.

SatinSandals Fri 25-Oct-13 13:09:39

It is even more irritating when they can't spell your name correctly after more than 20 years!

Beccagain Fri 25-Oct-13 13:11:01

Good on ya Thursdays . I say again (because I am a glimmering ol' biddy at the age where I keep repeating myself) I am somewhat shocked at the staggering lack of empathy shown by some posters mainly those who hadn't read your posts properly

Take care

heartisaspade Fri 25-Oct-13 13:21:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thursdaysgirls Fri 25-Oct-13 13:27:37

Its concerning because its my medical records. Don't want them getting lost or not merged with my new name. Itd be a disaster. I said earlier am also PMSing (I too have been known to cry for 2 hours over a spoon/pen etc) Thanks Becca. Ive noticed it a fair bit recently so Id gone back to lurking and not posting.

Kundry Fri 25-Oct-13 13:32:11

Hospital probably won't update just on your GP's say so. You will need to tell them separately from telling your GP.

I got married over a year ago. I suspect I'll just about have finished the name change process by the time we have our ruby wedding anniversary. Name change is a nightmare, you haven't finished yet!

HexU Fri 25-Oct-13 13:38:37

I'd tell them that in writing - more likely IME to mean end to matter - as your right mixed up medical records not a good idea.

It is very frustrating, especially when you dealing with other stuff, to find out that something you thought sorted isn't.

It can also be the straw the breaks the camels back.

I remember once crying at the dishwasher filter not coming out - but I had 3 young DC and was massively sleep deprived, unhelpful family and a very ill DH at the time and a neighbor trying to pick a fight and nasty phone call from DH then boss. It was the final sucky thing that tipped me over. Not my finest moment but still.

HexU Fri 25-Oct-13 13:40:26

Kundry right if your currently undergoing treatment - telling the people at the hospital in writing that your name changed wold probably aid matters.

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