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AIBU?

to find her chronically bad time keeping disrespectful

37 replies

Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 17:46

My landlady is very hands-on she manages our property herself and makes frequent visits to see us for house related matters (around twice a month on average). She rarely gives much more than a day's notice (which is a issue in itself) and is always, always at least 45mins late for her appointments with us. Often it's not too big a deal as we would be staying in anyway but sometimes we have stayed in especially or have worked around our own appointments to accommodate her. She'll also often cancel last minute which, after a frazzled hour of cleaning to get ready for her visit, is exasperating. She's always apologetic but the behaviour happens time and time again!

Am I being unreasonable to find her seeming disregard for our schedule really rude or should I accept that this us just her and let it go. I really want to have it out with her and tell her how her behaviour makes feel but my husband is trying to talk me out if it. It's always me that has to deal with her by the way!

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MurielHeslopp · 23/10/2013 17:48

Twice a month?
She really should back off a bit and let you settle in your home imo.

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LEMisdisappointed · 23/10/2013 17:50

For one thing, i think she is only entitled to visit once every six months (someone will know about this) and Im sorry but if she was any more than 15 minutes late i would go out! unless she called to apologise for her lateness - it may be her house, but it is your home!

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DevilsRoulette · 23/10/2013 17:52

what on earth is she coming round to do twice a month? That's quite intrusive.

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Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 17:53

Yes the frequent visits are annoying - she uses some of the cupboards here to store things so she often requires access and she also like to keep a close eye on the garden (former tenants let a whole load of plants die so she's often over here with plant feed etc to prevent history repeating)

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Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 17:56

Once every six months would be bliss - she's very over-attached imo. The going out after 15 mins is very, very appealing! :) :)

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neunundneunzigluftballons · 23/10/2013 17:57

I have had 2 landladies like that. The were complete pain in the arse control freaks always coming over we found it a tad overwhelming.

I would tell your landlady to await for a call from you in future, insist she does not have permission to let herself in in your absence and tell her you expect her to come on time as agreed. I would remind her of the business nature of the arrangement and take it from there.

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Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 18:03

Is the behaviour disrespectful do you think? I wanted to use that argument with her. She plays the 'I'm so ditsy' card as an excuse when she turns up but surely if she really respected us she wouldn't be this late would she?

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DevilsRoulette · 23/10/2013 18:05

That's really annoying.
What would happen if you said that her storing stuff and coming round all the time makes you feel that this isn't your home?

She stores things in the cupboards in your house? What would happen if they were lost or damaged? I wouldn't like that responsibility with someone who is so worried about a few flowers wilting that she's practically moved in!

If you tell her to move her stuff out, she has no reason to come into your home any more.

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Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 18:14

The cupboards are locked so her stuff is safe - but unfortunately her storing her stuff here was part of the deal at the start of our tenancy. We never imaged she'd need to access it so much though :(

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Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 18:24

I'd like to talk to her and the way you put it Devil's is perfect but DH is really worried about getting on her bad side, as if she could cast us out mercilessly on to the streets for not being perfectly pliant tenants! The way I see it we are her clients and she should be running circles to keep us not the other way round. The rent is not cheap either!

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DevilsRoulette · 23/10/2013 18:24

She doesn't need to. I bet she's only doing it to have an excuse to examine your home so much. Where are the cupboards?

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DevilsRoulette · 23/10/2013 18:27

Well, she has to give the required amount of notice and if you don't move, take you to court. So no, flinging you on the street can't happen.

But of course it's a concern if you feel your landlord will give you notice because you ask for some courtesy

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Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 18:28

Yes that's what I suspect Devil's - after we first moved in she made a big deal about coming to get her Christmas decorations and the box she came out with was tiny - like one piece of tinsel and three baubles! The cupboards are upstairs - one in our bedroom and one in the spare room/ study so yes she gets to go right through the house to access them :( :(

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neunundneunzigluftballons · 23/10/2013 18:35

Whirl wig that is very invasive I would limit access tbh.

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Whirliwig72 · 23/10/2013 18:39

Thank you for the morale support feels good to get all my grievances out! Another really petty thing is she has forbidden us from changing energy supplier ( it's in the contract) so we are stuck with sky high bills for no reason as far as I can see. We don't have a service agreement for our boiler or anything!

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showmethemoneyhoney · 23/10/2013 18:50
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nuppet · 23/10/2013 18:52

Hi,
Check out www.gov.uk/private-renting. It says as a tenant you have a right to live in a property undisturbed. I think landlords also have to give 24hrs notice before coming round. It sounds as though your landlady is not being fair on you at all.

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Corygal · 23/10/2013 18:58

Suggest you're too ditsy to pay the rent on time.

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Whirliwig72 · 24/10/2013 08:51

Thanks everyone for the really useful advice and support!

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Charlesroi · 24/10/2013 09:49

I hope you are getting a significant discount for this constant inconvenience?
You've realy got to stop this as it's not on. Next time she wants to pop round on some pretext tell her it's not convenient. Doesn't matter if it is. Say something like "we'l be in between 10 and 11 Saturday, so can you please come then". And then go out at 11:01.

You can change energy suppliers but you might have to switch back before you leave. She's not likely to find out unless she goes through your bills anyway.

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ophelia275 · 24/10/2013 10:34

Why don't you call Shelter and get some advice? What your husband is worried about is called a "retaliatory eviction" and is the stupid "no fault" clause in current AST's, so that landlords can evict tenants without any reason (basically if tenants ask for perfectly reasonably requirements of their landlord like things to be fixed or for them to enjoy "quite enjoyment" of the property which the landlady is currently not giving you).

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ophelia275 · 24/10/2013 10:37

Is your name on the actual contract or hers? What about the bills/council tax? She might not want you to change energy suppliers if there is something dodgy going on like she is subletting or she has not told her mortgage provider that she is renting her property? In any case, I think you legally have the right to change energy providers. Please do call Shelter, they are excellent at such things.

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closingeveryhour · 24/10/2013 15:36

You have a right to quiet enjoyment and to change energy supplier regardless of what's in your contract (a contract cannot override the basic legislation on renting and letting). It's also a legal requirement for her to have the boiler safety checked and serviced yearly. I'd seek some advice in this from the CAB or similar and try to find a way of wording an email/letter to her putting your rights nicely. I know it's difficult though as as a tenant you feel that if you assert your rights you might end up being given notice. These amateur landlords are a PITA, they often have no idea of their legal obligations!

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fairylightsintheautumn · 24/10/2013 16:09

In relation to the lateness I think the best way to approach that is simply not be there 15 mins after the appointment time. When she rings you to ask why, just say, you said x time and we couldn't wait in. She does not have the legal right to let herself in in your absence. There have been many threads about the chronically late and yes it is disrespectful, it is not ditzy and cute.

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BrianTheMole · 24/10/2013 16:15

Has she put your deposit into an approved scheme?

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