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To think leaving a dog on its own for 9 hours a day plus is mean?

(71 Posts)
Beavie Tue 22-Oct-13 22:19:04

Please settle this argument. Dp and I have been together 2 years and when we met I already had my dog, who is 9 now. I got him when I was pg with dd1 and since then have pretty much always worked from home, so my dog has rarely been left on his own for any more than a few hours. I recently started college 2 days a week and I get up half an hour earlier so that I can drive the dog over to my mum's house, otherwise he would be shut in for 8 hours.

Dp won't stop going on about getting another dog. He used to breed pedigree dogs and really misses having his own dog, which is fair enough. But the problem, as far as I see it, is that I will be going to uni next year so will not be around so much, then after uni I will be working ft, if all goes to plan. So we will both be working ft and I think it's not right to get a dog knowing that for its whole life it's going to be left at home on its own for at least 9 hours a day. My dog will be 13 by then so will be cracking on. My mum doesn't mind having him but she would point blank refuse to look after another dog, especially as she has two of her own.

Dp's view is that there is nothing wrong with leaving a dog that long for 5 days a week, as lots of people do it. I know that's true but it just doesn't sit comfortably with me. I know I would be the one tearing myself up feeling guilty about the dog being on its own. Opinions?

spindlyspindler Wed 23-Oct-13 08:14:10

9 hours is far too long to leave a dog on its own. If I thought it was ok I would go out and get a dog right now. I love them and really miss having one but it just isn't right if you both work all day.

iwantanafternoonnap Wed 23-Oct-13 08:18:25

I was going to say get him to see the life of dogs as others have suggested I was nearly in tears.

My dog goes over to my mums when I go to work as I wouldn't leave him for that long. 6 hours is the most he has ever been left alone for and thats been very very rarely.

Very cruel to leave a dog that long and I doubt your furniture would last long!

BMW6 Wed 23-Oct-13 09:29:03

I didn't get a dog till I retired as it IS cruel to leave dog alone for hours, day after day.

When I sit out in my garden I can hear a dog fairly close by whining all day 8 - 6pm. Very distressing to hear and if I had the faintest idea which house it belonged to I would call the RSPCA.

If you work full time and want a pet, get a cat. They are far more independant and are happy to be left by humans.

Preciousbane Wed 23-Oct-13 09:31:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Retropear Wed 23-Oct-13 09:35:54

Does anybody know the laws re baking dogs as we suffer from this due to neighbours dog being left?

As one bit my son the barking and scratching at the door terrifies him.

Beavie Wed 23-Oct-13 09:36:07

Interesting you say that, BMW6. I had to rehome my cats as I couldn't take them with me when I moved, but I am just about to move somewhere where I would be able to get a cat. Me and the dc really want to get a cat, I've pretty much always had a cat about the place and I miss having one.

BUT dp is saying no. Just on principal because I have said no to him getting a dog. He says it's him or a cat. I hope he finds somewhere nice to live!

FalseWidow Wed 23-Oct-13 09:50:42

ShowmeyourTARDIS that's what our neighbours said when we told them it was unreasonable for us to expect to listen to that all day (it wasn't so bad for us before we had DCs as we were out all day too, but when I got home from hospital after DC1 and had to listen to that all day, that was pretty difficult to accept. They said 'he is happy running around in the garden all day.' I watched him. He didn't run around all day, he stood barking at the back door virtually all day.

FalseWidow Wed 23-Oct-13 09:54:24

Retropear You can complain to the council re noise pollution. In the first instance they will send a letter to the residents about their dog, which they claim helps. Up to this point, if you want to move house and not declare that you have complained about that, I believe you don't have to declare you did that. After that, if it doesn't stop, you have to fill in timekeeping sheets about when it barks, for how long, etc. Then the council will install monitoring equipment to measure how often and how loud. Then they will take action. But if you want to put the house on the market at any point within 3 years of that all happening you have to declare it to the buyer.

Gingersstuff Wed 23-Oct-13 09:55:25

Your husband is being a cock. 9 hours is FAR too long to be leaving a dog on its own, they are domesticated animals that crave human company and are bloody miserable without it.
And for the people who do leave their dogs 8 hrs+ per day, even with access to outside...I take it you've not heard that there are gangs of thugs going around stealing dogs from back gardens and using them as bait animals?? And no, that's not urban legend. It's a known problem and on the increase.
For the record I have 3 dogs, and our whole lives are planned around not leaving the dogs for more than say, 4 hours at any one time. And even that not regularly, as I work from home.
Stick to your guns, you KNOW that you're right on this one.

Jenny70 Wed 23-Oct-13 09:58:34

It certainly doesn't sit well with me to leave a dog that long every day... although I have to say in Australia it is very common to do this, and the concepts of dog walker/dog sitter is quite new to me. But in Oz, dogs are usually outside, left with balls, toys and garden to play in (and good weather most of the year!)... but many do get lonely even with an outside environment to be in. Many people have 2 dogs as well.

But to consider the other side of the arguement -
- would your dog be there too, so there is 2 of them together?
- would the dog be just in a house, or would it have access to the garden?
- will your children be home from school earlier to play/entertain dog before your work finish time? Would they be in the foreseeable future (ie. secondary type age).
- on weekends, do you usually do things that the dog can come to or be with you?

I wouldn't agree to get a dog knowing it would be locked inside all day, every weekday, but if it had a friend, access to outside and the weekends were very inclusive of the dog(s) as a general rule, then perhaps I could consider it. Having a dog walker come seems a good compromise - you're not saying no dog, just this is needed to make it work for us at this time.

festered Wed 23-Oct-13 10:00:03

The RSPCA won't rehome to anybody whose household members are out of the house all day long , for good reason!
Yes lots of people do it. Does that make it okay?
We leave the dog for long periods VERY occasionally. I work from home apart from weekend nights, and OH is home on those nights.

diddl Wed 23-Oct-13 10:00:59

You can't have a cat that you are willing to look after because he can't have a dog that he's not?

He sounds an absolute arrogant arsehole tbh.

Hope at least he was a decent breeder who had homes for the puppies before they were bred.

CackleCackle Wed 23-Oct-13 10:10:30

As far as I am concerned dog breeders are as irresponsible as owners who leave their dogs all day or never walk them properly. No place for them these days. Breeding dogs is irresponsible.

YANBU. He is being selfish and entitled.

CackleCackle Wed 23-Oct-13 10:11:14

Oh, and if you're set on getting a cat again, get one from a shelter.

TooOldForGlitter Wed 23-Oct-13 10:15:15

9 hours is a really long time to leave a dog. IMO it is very cruel.

Also, sorry but I don't think someone who bred dogs is an expert. For all we know he was an irresponsible BYB and that doesn't make him the authority on dogs in the slightest.

echt Wed 23-Oct-13 10:15:27

Astonished that someone who bred dogs would consider it OK to leave one indoors for 9 hours a day.hmm

I think we push it with a dog at home for nearly 8 hours a day. He has a front, side and back garden to run around, has two off-leash runs every day without fail, 2/3 beach and sea runs every week, and I'm there on the school holidays. Even then, I know he's always happiest when we're around.

Sorry, your DP is also being a knob for comparing your wish for a cat as being the same as commitment to a dog.

Having said that, our new cat is amazingly person dependent, and when any one person is in the house, they are shadowed by both dog and cat.
Each can only "let go" if the pack is at home.

The beasties need us (people in general, that is). You are right to look to the future of a dog's life, OP. Stay firm.

TooOldForGlitter Wed 23-Oct-13 10:16:09

CackleCackle said what I was too wimpy to say. So many thousands and thousands of dogs in rescues and people are still breeding. Makes me angry.

Beavie Wed 23-Oct-13 10:16:22

Jenny - in answer to your questions:

No I wouldn't start leaving my dog at home all day just because there was another dog there, and even if I did, my dog isn't going to live forever so at some point the new dog would be on its own.

I wouldn't be able to leave the back door open so it would have to be in or out. Not so bad in the warmer months but I can't imagine it's going to want to be outside all day long when it's pissing down with rain/snowing. There is also the risk that it would get stolen, especially as he is talking about getting a pedigree dog that will cost 1k+ to buy.

My eldest will be at secondary in a couple of years but we will still be talking about 8.5 hours being left alone, allowing her time to get home.

Yes we often do dog friendly stuff at the weekends but sometimes not...again my mum is good at having my dog if we are going away for the weekend but if dp got a dog I have no idea what we would do with it if we wanted to go away.

Beavie Wed 23-Oct-13 10:19:26

Cacklecackle, yes I will definitely get one from a shelter.

echt Wed 23-Oct-13 10:20:13

I can see why you call your dog "your dog", OP, but if you and your DP are calling his putative pooch "his" then you have problem.

The dog should be "ours".

ErrolTheDragon Wed 23-Oct-13 10:22:15

YANBU, of course.

>He says it's him or a cat. I hope he finds somewhere nice to live!
Hopefully in rented accommodation which doesn't allow dogs so he's not tempted to be so irresponsible.

LeGavrOrf Wed 23-Oct-13 10:22:41

I wouldn't leave a dog on its own all day. It is horrible cruel. I would love a dog but because we work FT it's simply not possible.

Could you quote what the RSPCA and dog rescue centres say - in that they will not rehoming a dog to people who are out all day? Mind you he sound a bit of a know it all so that possibly won't make a difference anyway.

People who leave their dogs and say they are happy to be left have no idea what their dogs are up to all day. They could be barking endlessly, or simply whining with unhappiness (which is what my MIL's neighbours dog did all day, whined and whimpered).

Beavie Wed 23-Oct-13 10:23:32

Echt - no no, he is very clear that it would be HIS dog.

Gingersstuff Wed 23-Oct-13 10:24:35

See, I don't get that it's ok to go out for the day and leave your dog "access to the garden". I subscribe to a rescue service and the amount of folks that lose their dogs from their back gardens is ridiculous. Not just thieves you have to worry about, but someone opening the gate either deliberately or by accident, the dog coming across a wee hole in the fence and going off for a jolly across a busy road, or digging under the fence, or jumping a 6-foot wall (which we were horrified to discover our lab could easily do, after we'd had her almost 3 years)...the possibilities are endless. Not to mention the dog being outside all day and howling its head off and pissing off the neighbours because what he/she wants is HUMAN COMPANY, not to be left alone for hours and hours on end without knowing when the human is coming back sad
Our dogs have access to a third of an acre walled garden which has been gone over inch by inch for possible breaches, because we've had some of the above happen but luckily when we were at home, because I would never leave my dogs outside even if I'm only popping to the shops. They're only ever left outside to play when someone is at home.

MadeOfStarDust Wed 23-Oct-13 10:30:41

I feel guilty leaving ours for 6 hours when I work on a Tuesday.... and hubby goes home at lunch mid way through to let him out to pee..

Dog has such big eyes and wants to sit on my lap when I get home...

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