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To get fed up of people judging women for going out with men who are worth millions?

(30 Posts)
Lighthousekeeping Mon 21-Oct-13 00:07:44

That it can only be for the money? All the time I see/hear it. No-one ever says Kate Moss's husband must be with her for the money. Or any other female a list celeb with a bloke in a band or a bloke that has an ordinary job. Just seems to me that women are easily seen as gold diggers. Why would that be?

LessMissAbs Wed 23-Oct-13 09:57:43

Come to think of it ArbitraryUsername, I know a few would-be golddiggers like that too, usually married to men who are not rich but who are willing to support them. Both men and women. The women I know married to rich men all offer plenty in return (whether that be looks, attractive personality, intelligence) and don't just sit on their backsides.

man4live It's probably because you often see young, beautiful women marrying old, ugly millionaires but not the other way round

Can actually think of several examples of men with women who have inherited a house and can provide them with a lifestyle who don't bother themselves with the need for a regular career, and one particularly memorable example who divorced his wife, took half her inherited farm and then unsuccessfully tried to shack up with my friend, 25 years younger than him. Possibly because she had a job and he didn't!

man4live Wed 23-Oct-13 09:44:57

It's probably because you often see young, beautiful women marrying old, ugly millionaires but not the other way round.

ArbitraryUsername Mon 21-Oct-13 12:54:28

And I'd think similarly if the genders were reversed.

My sister is a not very successful 'gold digger'. By that I mean that she is lazy and doesn't want to have to support herself. She lived off my mum and step-dad until almost 30 (as in taking an 'I refuse to do work just because i need the money; that would be beneath me' stance and actually expecting them o pay for her. she wouldn't even claim jobseekers allowance because that was also beneath her). The fools in that story are my mum and stepdad who bloody enabled her.

She finally married poor old BIL (who seems lovely, if not having the best skills in character judgement) and was really annoyed that she'd have to work part-time. She's now had a baby and will never work (for pay) again but I think the reality of looking after a baby has not quite lived up to her ideal life of leisure. Nor does the one earner lifestyle match what she was expecting for her life. The good thing is that she seems to now have grown up enough to realise that life doesn't work quite how she has imagined it would and that very few people get totally easy, carefree existences.

ArbitraryUsername Mon 21-Oct-13 12:44:55

Mini: the challenge isn't difficult because however witty and charming they both are the twins won't be interchangeable. You will like one of them more.

Because, for most people, someone's bank balance is not the main decision-making factor in their relationship choices. It would still be OK to consider the kind of lifestyle you want when deciding whether a relationship with a particular person would be right for you (because money is a big issue in relationships), but it shouldn't be the primary motivation. The problem would be if you realised that it was in your case. I.e. if you thought twin 2 was an arse but decided you'd rather be with a rich arse than a poor guy you actually liked.

In that case, your 'gold-digging' wouldn't matter all that much (certainly not to me). I might feel a bit sorry for you because you'd put money before the quality of a relationship and that doesn't seem a good route to happiness to me. However, you'd be free to be delighted in being rich and I could be utterly wrong because everyone's different.

EldritchCleavage Mon 21-Oct-13 12:30:20

Why is it seen as so terrible to be a woman who is a gold-digger but not to be a rich man who treats beautiful young women as lust objects to be used and discarded?

I know which I think is worse.

Pagwatch Mon 21-Oct-13 12:29:15

<<nods>> guilty...

This does all remind me of the 'what attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels' question to Debbie McGee

LunaticFringe Mon 21-Oct-13 12:28:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BaronessBomburst Mon 21-Oct-13 12:22:48

So, Pag, a lesbian gold digger!

<gets on phone to Daily Mail>

Viviennemary Mon 21-Oct-13 12:19:24

I think they do say it quite a bit about men too. Liz Taylor's last husband got a lot of criticism for being a gold digger. Or it might have been her last but one.

Pagwatch Mon 21-Oct-13 12:16:26

I earnt it. So a woman, I think. <checks >>



trish5000 Mon 21-Oct-13 12:10:07

Ah, but who did you get that money from, a man or a woman? grin

Pagwatch Mon 21-Oct-13 12:05:27

Tbh I get irritated that women on here almost to a man (hahaha) see me as living off my dhs salary.
It rarely occurs to anyone that I might have my own money.

Pagwatch Mon 21-Oct-13 12:03:41


I don't think the Trinny thread is a great example tbh.
I think the thread was 'wtf would a seemingly mature intelligent woman play gooey eyes with a man who grabs his partner by the throat or places his hand across her mouth to silence her.

What would the attraction be? The lols?

Lighthousekeeping Mon 21-Oct-13 11:59:35


Degustibusnonestdisputandem Mon 21-Oct-13 08:07:14

My sister is a gold digger, & proudly refers to herself as one

(ok, she's a senior exploration geologist in Oz gold mining industry grin )

MiniMonty Mon 21-Oct-13 02:19:09

Gold digger works either way... For either sex.
I bet it's no fun to be on the receiving end of the accusation whoever you are. And that means famous (splashed all over the papers for a few days) or just normal folk (reputation and chat around the playground which lasts for years and years)...

Let's paint a picture: you meet someone you like, they like you, they are richer then you - ipso facto - you are a gold digger !
Doesn't really add up does it?

But try this difficult challenge:
Twin one is great looking, caring, witty, charming bright and funny - works now and then as a night porter in a prison.
Twin two is great looking, caring, witty, charming, bright and funny - runs a multinational and has limitless personal wealth.

They both like you.
Are you a gold digger?

And what if you are on the other end of this ?
What if you're a fabulously rich bloke - should you only be "allowed" to date women as rich as you for fear of any female you get involved with being labelled a "gold digger"?

Difficult to scream around about women being in the boardroom, in government and in positions of power if those same women can't accept "gold digger" men who will be attracted to the money and lifestyle.

Gold Digger works both ways and I LIKE IT because I see nothing wrong with anyone looking to hook up with someone who has deep pockets.

EldritchCleavage Mon 21-Oct-13 01:10:28

And no, you aren't.

EldritchCleavage Mon 21-Oct-13 01:10:16

Fed up with.

CeliaLytton Mon 21-Oct-13 00:53:10

<ponders what a god digger would get up to>

<misses point of thread entirely>

WallyBantersJunkBox Mon 21-Oct-13 00:45:32

Didn't people call Amy Winehouse's guy a gold digger?

My DH's Ex wife called him a gold digger when he met me. Apparently there wasn't anything about me that he could possibly like apart from my money.

I earned £8000 more than him PA. grin

Lighthousekeeping Mon 21-Oct-13 00:41:21

Kevin? What I mean is that it's not as often that you hear people saying that a bloke is a gold digger compared to women. It's just actually been said on Chelsea Lately my guilty pleasure

TombOfMummyBeerest Mon 21-Oct-13 00:37:03

What about Britney Spears and her ex...what's his face?

Millipedewithherfeetup Mon 21-Oct-13 00:34:01

Yes think it was taxi driver bloke what's his name that made her bankrupt.

Lighthousekeeping Mon 21-Oct-13 00:24:10

Gold even

Lighthousekeeping Mon 21-Oct-13 00:23:45

Peaches Gelolf is another one. Judging by her new house in the country daddy must've spent millions. Her bloke is in a band that's had no success I don't see anyone calling him a god digger though.

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