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To get fed up of people judging women for going out with men who are worth millions?

(30 Posts)
Lighthousekeeping Mon 21-Oct-13 00:07:44

That it can only be for the money? All the time I see/hear it. No-one ever says Kate Moss's husband must be with her for the money. Or any other female a list celeb with a bloke in a band or a bloke that has an ordinary job. Just seems to me that women are easily seen as gold diggers. Why would that be?

EldritchCleavage Mon 21-Oct-13 12:30:20

Why is it seen as so terrible to be a woman who is a gold-digger but not to be a rich man who treats beautiful young women as lust objects to be used and discarded?

I know which I think is worse.

ArbitraryUsername Mon 21-Oct-13 12:44:55

Mini: the challenge isn't difficult because however witty and charming they both are the twins won't be interchangeable. You will like one of them more.

Because, for most people, someone's bank balance is not the main decision-making factor in their relationship choices. It would still be OK to consider the kind of lifestyle you want when deciding whether a relationship with a particular person would be right for you (because money is a big issue in relationships), but it shouldn't be the primary motivation. The problem would be if you realised that it was in your case. I.e. if you thought twin 2 was an arse but decided you'd rather be with a rich arse than a poor guy you actually liked.

In that case, your 'gold-digging' wouldn't matter all that much (certainly not to me). I might feel a bit sorry for you because you'd put money before the quality of a relationship and that doesn't seem a good route to happiness to me. However, you'd be free to be delighted in being rich and I could be utterly wrong because everyone's different.

ArbitraryUsername Mon 21-Oct-13 12:54:28

And I'd think similarly if the genders were reversed.

My sister is a not very successful 'gold digger'. By that I mean that she is lazy and doesn't want to have to support herself. She lived off my mum and step-dad until almost 30 (as in taking an 'I refuse to do work just because i need the money; that would be beneath me' stance and actually expecting them o pay for her. she wouldn't even claim jobseekers allowance because that was also beneath her). The fools in that story are my mum and stepdad who bloody enabled her.

She finally married poor old BIL (who seems lovely, if not having the best skills in character judgement) and was really annoyed that she'd have to work part-time. She's now had a baby and will never work (for pay) again but I think the reality of looking after a baby has not quite lived up to her ideal life of leisure. Nor does the one earner lifestyle match what she was expecting for her life. The good thing is that she seems to now have grown up enough to realise that life doesn't work quite how she has imagined it would and that very few people get totally easy, carefree existences.

man4live Wed 23-Oct-13 09:44:57

It's probably because you often see young, beautiful women marrying old, ugly millionaires but not the other way round.

LessMissAbs Wed 23-Oct-13 09:57:43

Come to think of it ArbitraryUsername, I know a few would-be golddiggers like that too, usually married to men who are not rich but who are willing to support them. Both men and women. The women I know married to rich men all offer plenty in return (whether that be looks, attractive personality, intelligence) and don't just sit on their backsides.

man4live It's probably because you often see young, beautiful women marrying old, ugly millionaires but not the other way round

Can actually think of several examples of men with women who have inherited a house and can provide them with a lifestyle who don't bother themselves with the need for a regular career, and one particularly memorable example who divorced his wife, took half her inherited farm and then unsuccessfully tried to shack up with my friend, 25 years younger than him. Possibly because she had a job and he didn't!

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