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to keep the expensive stuff for me and let the kids use the normal stuff?

(329 Posts)
2kidsintow Sun 20-Oct-13 21:25:43

There are few things in life that are reserved for me alone.

However, I buy the DDs the normal bog standard chocolate spread for their weekend breakfast pancake treat and keep the lovely Cadbury stuff for me alone, on a high shelf.

Grennie Tue 22-Oct-13 08:41:15

I loved frys chocolate cream as a kid and dark chocolate. But then my mum encouraged us to eat a wide variety of foods, rather than having this strange idea of adults and kids food.

Having your own separate stash is fine though. Ido that.

2rebecca Tue 22-Oct-13 08:38:29

I have a chocolate stash that no-one is allowed to touch but that's because i often use chocolate for cooking and prefer decent chocolate to nasty cooking stuff.
I'm not into sweets, biscuits etc so rarely buy them for anyone and if I do am not bothered if everyone else eats them.
The kids can't just help themselves to anything in the house though. Bread, biscuits, fruit jam honey etc and fruit are OK for snacking on.
They ask if they want anything else as i don't want to suddenly discover all the eggs and cheese have gone. We still tend to eat togaether on an evening so it's less chaotic than if they were preparing their own meals and needed proper food stuff.
Some people may find this controlling but until my teenagers are willing to go out and replace items they have eaten (I'd give them the money) they ask before eating things I might be needing for dinner.

2kidsintow Mon 21-Oct-13 21:53:30

I didn't have a taste for dark chocolate as a child, but now quite enjoy a Fry's chocolate cream.

Not sure whether I'm arguing for my case there or not really. smile

mrsjay Mon 21-Oct-13 21:34:21

I know! My Mum had her own special chocolate. She had bourville and fry's chocolate cream. They were never for us. I really can't find a single bone in my body that resents her for them as we always had our own treats

your mum is a woman I would like those 2 are the only bits of chocolate i like and no i dont share either

IhaveNoOpinion Mon 21-Oct-13 21:30:28

You made a mistake OP by not putting (lighthearted) at the end of your title, paving the way for the martyrs and the perfect mums to tell the rest of us how shit we are.

FWIW I ate some of DDs birthday chocolate earlier and made her have a banana

2kidsintow Mon 21-Oct-13 21:27:57

I know! My Mum had her own special chocolate. She had bourville and fry's chocolate cream. They were never for us. I really can't find a single bone in my body that resents her for them as we always had our own treats.

I did a blind taste test with my DDs this morning. DD2 happily vindicated me as she couldn't tell the difference and declared them all 'the same' heathen. DD1 (12) declared that she prefered nutella over the other.

marmaladeandguitars Mon 21-Oct-13 21:05:12

Also, I can't believe some posters still feel resentful of their own parents having their own treats.
My mum loves Pringles, and she used to stash a pack in the cupboard that I was not to touch, on pain of death. I didn't care then and I don't now, because apart from depriving me of Pringles, both my parents worked hard to ensure I had the best they could provide, they paid for ponies, dancing lessons and French classes, school ski trips, new clothes, days out....

I'm not talking about the posters who have clearly suffered from abusive and very dysfunctional parents by the way, that is awful-the stepmum who gave her own DC the better food shock

Grennie Mon 21-Oct-13 20:58:01

I agree it doesn't make sense to buy fast growing children expensive clothes, unless you have loads of money. But once you stop growing, buying a few expensive clothes makes much more sense.

ElleBelly Mon 21-Oct-13 20:50:50

I don't know, I love giving DD nice treats sometimes, as I can see the enjoyment she gets from it. Think I'd feel guilty if I bought me the decent stuff and her the crappy option. I used to feel guilty buying tobacco (now a reluctant non smoker) as money is tight so that was my treat. Now if we have treats it's for all of us to share.

phantomnamechanger Mon 21-Oct-13 20:50:49

YANBU having your treat and their treat, the only U is when treats are only for adults, or the step/natural kids are treated differently, that's awful.

I generally buy the kids sweets or choc once a week - something like a fudge or wispa, and a packet of polos/starburst. On their birthdays or chirstmas they might get something a bit more special like a box of thorntons for the girls or a pack of chocolate dinosaurs for DS. I see nothing wrong with this at all.
the older ones now eat off the adult menus in a pub, but when they were smaller they only WANTED sausage or fish fingers - now they will eat more adventurously.
at home we generally eat the same probably 90% of the time - tonight we have ALL had fish fingers and oven chips lazy day tomorrow we will all have a home cooked dinner with 3 veg.
As for other stuff - I cant afford designer clothes for me so I don't buy them for the kids either. I would not buy me something "just because " if the kids needed new shoes, of course I would go without something myself if they needed something - I would not go without eating to buy them an iphone though.

thefirstmrsrochester Mon 21-Oct-13 20:46:10

Bloody hell marmalade shock
That's bonkers behaviour.

SmokedMackerel Mon 21-Oct-13 20:43:13

I buy different juice for my kids. It's because the one that I like to drink is too sugary. I like to give them not-from-concentrate juices. But mine does cost more.

I don't feel guilty that I often eat different things - they have mini yoghurts and mini ice creams, I have Gü chocolate desserts and tiramisu.

I feed them a good, balanced diet, they don't go hungry

marmaladeandguitars Mon 21-Oct-13 20:42:46

This thread is hilarious. Children need to know that their parents are people in their own right, and part of that is accepting that they will have things for themselves, whether it be wine, cigarettes, or posh chocolate. Just as the children have school trips,days out, heaps of presents at Christmas, and birthday parties.

It reminds me of a little girl DD used to play with. When she was invited to a birthday party,her mother used to have to buy two gifts: the present for the birthday child, and an exact replica, for her own daughter. The mother had nothing of her own either: even her clothes lived in a permanent heap in the hallway, because the DD used to play in the wardrobe.

NachoAddict Mon 21-Oct-13 20:42:44

Sometimes when the kids are being difficult, the thought of a chocolate/glass of wine/bubble bath at the end of the day gets you through. Change that sliver of hope to sharing chocolate with the kids or getting in the bubble bath with them and its just not the same.

Sparklysilversequins Mon 21-Oct-13 20:22:54

I'm not showing my dc anything, the biscuits are hidden! It's far more about a treat for ME to look forward to rather than withholding from my dc.

yoniwherethesundontshine Mon 21-Oct-13 20:19:01

The same way pauls comment relates I guess confused.

yoniwherethesundontshine Mon 21-Oct-13 20:18:23

I just don't feel the need to show kids how important I am by withholding special biscuits

I have not yet got through whole thread but this made me laugh.

The scene it conjours up of mummy bending down to show baby the biscuit, baby trying to grab it, no, its mummies, mummies special biscuit.

That said, I don't think one item here or there really matter,

SPsTombRaidingWithCliff Mon 21-Oct-13 20:17:43

Yoni How does that relate to anything?

yoniwherethesundontshine Mon 21-Oct-13 20:16:46

If you went to the theatre would you as parents sit in the front and put your DC in the cheap seats at a different location>

paulagil Mon 21-Oct-13 20:14:57

I was on a plane once where the kids were in economy and the mum and THE NANNY were in first class. Now THAT's unreasonable. My poor DH was sitting next to them and the 10 year old boy fell asleep on DH's shoulder.

mrsjay Mon 21-Oct-13 20:02:14

I just don't feel the need to show kids how important I am by withholding special biscuits.

OK then why didnt you just say that FWIW it isn't witholding anything it is mine they are not getting any <shrug>

yoniwherethesundontshine Mon 21-Oct-13 19:59:06

isnt cadburys bog standard choclate?

OneUp Mon 21-Oct-13 19:55:48

I'm not sure if I think YABU or YANBU. On one hand I do think every deserves a treat but I also remember my Dad buying himself Tropicana Orange Juice (bearing in mind he had other treats too) which we would be told off if we drank any of. The rest of us (including Mum) were given cheap orange juice.

I think with treat foods it's less of a big deal than with healthier things like orange juice and fruit.

peachypips Mon 21-Oct-13 19:45:11

YANBU. My mum used to have a bag of Mars Bars and we weren't allowed to have one. I just saw it as her treat- a well deserved one with four children. She couldn't have afforded to give us all a Mars Bar, and we had 20p worth of sweets on a Fri which was our treat.

Keep your lovely Cadbury's spread all for you. If everything was fair between parents and children the kids would be at a far bigger disadvantage than us!

CrapBag Mon 21-Oct-13 19:39:07

I can't believe some people on this thread (only read the first page, got the gist).

OP YANBU. You aren't depriving them of anything.

That would be when you are fed dry bread and water whilst having to sit and watch your mum, her friend and her DD that lives with you eating curry, like I had to as a young child. Or being so deprived of food, that as a 2/3 year old you would wait until everyone was asleep and sneak into the kitchen to steal food, and get a severe punishment because the crumbs would then be found in your mattress on the floor (wasn't allowed a bed).

The replies on this thread are utterly ridiculous.

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