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to turn down this free car and offend the giver?

(185 Posts)
tygertygerburningbright Sun 20-Oct-13 18:12:54

I genuinely have no idea if I'm being a spoilt brat about this or not, so I welcome opinions!

I have taken about 20 driving lessons, I'm in my late twenties, and I'm fairly confident I'll pass my test before Christmas. I'm a lone parent and a student so don't have much money. My grandmother is paying for my driving lessons. Today she told me she would give me her car when I pass my test. Which of course is lovely! And I am most grateful for the offer. But... I'll try to list my hesitations..

It's a petrol, and I have learned in a diesel (had a few lessons in a petrol and honestly drove crap because I couldn't really get the hang of the whole needing the gas pedal to do manouvers etc when in a diesel its loads easier because you can just lift the clutch and go.) I know I may very well get used to a petrol in no time, but I am worried about it.

It's teeny tiny, like smaller than a Micra, smaller than any car other than a smart car I think. And I am 6 foot. There will be zero leg room in the back seat behind me. And I am training to work in a trade so I need a fair amount of room for tools etc, which there is none in this car.

It's not very nice... This is the crappiest reason ever not to want it, but basically I hate it and would never choose it in a million years.

All that said, I know it's very very nice of her to offer, and I do think maybe I'm being a bit ungrateful about it. A free car is a free car, and I don't think many people's first car is their dream car really. Also, she would be hugely offended if I said no.

I haven't said anything to my grandmother of course, because I think deep down even I know I'm being horrible...

GhostsInSnow Wed 23-Oct-13 21:27:13

Put my feed face away? Why? You seemingly judged me without knowing anything about me so yes, that makes me quite cross.

WMittens Wed 23-Oct-13 22:14:14

I asked a question; there was no judgement on my part. If it 'seemed' that way, you inferred something that wasn't there. As a genuine (i.e. non-passive aggressive) suggestion, if you include sufficient information then we could avoid the 'seemingness'.

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 24-Oct-13 08:01:06

Juice Come on, Mittens isn't psychic! She asked a question without realising. I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you or make you angry. flowers

trixymalixy Thu 24-Oct-13 08:54:51

Why should she have had to qualify her post with her daughter's situation though? It was none of your business why she drives to school. Did you really think it hadn't crossed her mind that it is walkable if able bodied? Not judgy my arse.

IHaveA Thu 24-Oct-13 08:57:10

You were a bit snippy there Juice. Asking why you walked was a reasonable question you can't expect everyone to automatically know your situation.
There is no point getting angry about nothing.

WMittens Thu 24-Oct-13 11:12:13


It was none of your business why she drives to school.

I assumed that by posting on a discussion forum she wanted to discuss the topic; I'm sorry, it was an honest mistake.

Bogeyface Thu 24-Oct-13 11:39:14

I assumed that by posting on a discussion forum she wanted to discuss the topic

No, she was commenting on low mileage cars, nothing to do with wanting to discuss her school run preferences.

If a school is 600m away and someone drives then I would assume that there is a good reason and not question it, and even if she was just being lazy, its none of your business and of no relevance to the thread.

GhostsInSnow Thu 24-Oct-13 13:27:31

Perhaps I was a little snippy in which case for that I do apologise, however, as bogey says I was making the point more that my own low mileage causes issues with my car.

I honestly thought it obvious that someone wouldn't drive that short distance unless they really had to for whatever reason.

Anyway back to op.

HelloBoys Thu 24-Oct-13 13:41:56

My brother used to drive automatics and also diesel where he could be them (don't know if you can get both!).

I drive an automatic petrol.

My brother's first car at 18 was a Vauxhall Astra or something like that - 2nd hand v cheap then VW Beetle etc. Mine was a Ford Fiesta or Ka - new as a relative worked at the plant and my grandma gave me money towards it. My brother took the money but not the brand new Ford with reduction.

My brother is now buying nice cars as he likes them (eg Alfa was last one) mostly automatic but cheap and then if there are things wrong with them he sells them on.

he's just yesterday got back from Liverpool area where he bought a cheap Merc automatic. this will probably last a year if that! his wife (of 2 years) will be thrilled not as it's her money goes into this purchase too!

Glad you saw sense OP. smile

KCumberSandwich Thu 24-Oct-13 15:57:36

my first car (got it in may) is a heap of crap. it cost me £500 quid. it has 4 dents, a wheel trim missing, two doors and the boot don't work and it has a tape player. it's akin to something onslow from keeping up appearances would drive. it is the best money i have ever spent, gets me from A to B, costs almost bugger all on fuel and i dont really give a damn if it gets a scratch or ds covers the seats in sticky stuff.

your first car wont be ideal, ive never driven a diesel but surely with a little practise you would get used to that?

if it is out of the question and absolutely not practical for what you need it for then you need to decline in the politest way you can find- there is little point in accepting a car you can't use and your gran going without a car needlessly.

if you can think of ways to live with the problems then don't look the gift horse in the mouth.

don't look a gift horse in the

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