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The mystery of the kitchen full of poo.

(40 Posts)
OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 15:04:58

got up for work this morning to find the kitchen full of shite.

for some inexplicable reason there were 2 separate cat shites in the futility room.

why? why would 2 different cats suddenly feel the need to poo in there? why?

also even more inexplicable......

in the middle of the kitchen floor was an enormous dog turd.

definitely dog, not cat.

huge, so probably not SmallDog.

But BigDog was shut in his cage. with the door closed and locked from the outside.


How could this happen?


as I was on the way to work I'm afraid I woke up DH and left him to deal with it all.

OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 15:06:04

I don't know how any of the above was unreasonable. but it was.

also SmallDog was also in his cage so couldn't have been him either.

Justforlaughs Sun 20-Oct-13 15:06:29

No comment, except to say that I had to read the OP after seeing the title and i love the ending!

Mumsyblouse Sun 20-Oct-13 15:06:30

I want a futility room. It sound so useful. I want to sit in it when I feel things are futile (relatively often).

I don't know about the poos though!

OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 15:08:34

i'm so thlconfused it hurts

Topseyt Sun 20-Oct-13 15:20:40

I have a futility room. Well, a futility house really, as it seems futile trying to keep on top of things with most of my family, two dogs and one cat messing it up again regularly. shock

AgentZigzag Sun 20-Oct-13 15:23:00

grin at the room of futility grin

The poo and your MN name are a pretty potent combo.

Maybe one of the cats made a super feline effort to do a big one so the dogs would get the blame, only they weren't clever enough to reason that the dogs were shut away.

Good job really else they'd have taken over the world by now, if intention was enough we'd be under the shackle of our feline oppressors as we type.

OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 15:23:47

How though?


Pancakeflipper Sun 20-Oct-13 15:24:47

They obviously had a wild party last night and then cats locked the dogs back up but didn't clean up.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 20-Oct-13 15:26:01

Maybe one of you has been very very bad to your children and has been give THE GIGGLER TREATMENT

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sun 20-Oct-13 15:26:20


AgentZigzag Sun 20-Oct-13 15:31:06

Didn't clean up on purpose Pancake.


Pancakeflipper Sun 20-Oct-13 15:56:33

Cats are rubbish with a mop and bucket.

marriedinwhiteisback Sun 20-Oct-13 16:04:25

Well the cat poo is understandable. The cats pooed.

Are you sure the big dog couldn't get out. Is there a difference between big dog poo and little dog poo. Come to think of it when we had labradors as a child I don't remember the labrador poo being any bigger than the cat poo I now occasionally deal with in the litter tray.

I bet it was the cats.

3birthdaybunnies Sun 20-Oct-13 16:12:29

Do you even have cats, how do you know it was 2 different ones? I have a futility house too so can sympathise.

AgentZigzag Sun 20-Oct-13 16:13:36

No opposable thumbs see Pancake?

OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 16:14:59

2 different sorts of cat poo. bastards. never pood before in the futility room. the bath, yes, but not the futility room.

the large dog poo was huge. about the size of the SmallDog.

The BigDog is also huge.

But both dogs were locked in their cages.

I am bemused.

OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 16:16:28

so at some point BigDog got out of the cage. Crapped in the middle of the floor. Then went back into his cage and somebody/thing relocked the door.

so who? or what?

OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 16:17:20

I think the cat poo is a red herring. maybe planted to stop me wondering about the cage/og/poo issue

OoozingCervix Sun 20-Oct-13 16:17:56

I'm going to check the cat feet to see which one has evolved opposable thumbs.

marriedinwhiteisback Sun 20-Oct-13 16:20:24

It all sounds a bit like the dark dark night when the big skeleton and the little skeleton and the dog skeleton went on a walk through the town and found the zoo with all sorts of other skeletons to me.

I think you're having a laugh OP - or someone's having a larf on you.

Pancakeflipper Sun 20-Oct-13 16:21:39

Very good point AgentZigZag.

VivaLeThrustBadger Sun 20-Oct-13 16:23:24

My dog can fling poo out his crate. However he normally mashes it up into small bits before starting a flinging session. I guess a complete poo wouldn't get out in one bit.

fluffyraggies Sun 20-Oct-13 16:26:09

Could an outside door or largish window have been left open OP? If the cats had poo'd in the room before another animal (badger/stray dog tec) had got into the house they may have poo'd there too out of territory marking?

<long shot>

fluffyraggies Sun 20-Oct-13 16:26:54

Or the other way around - cats poo'd in response to stray/wild animal pooing in their futility room?

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