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To be fed up with people telling me I look tired?

(33 Posts)
Kefybaby Sat 19-Oct-13 21:19:54

What is the point? Yes, I am knackered running around two young DC and working full time. Do you need to rub in that I look bad? Sympathy it ain't! angry

happylittlebear Mon 21-Oct-13 00:31:16

Oh this gives me the rage!

I get "you look pale" from my DF. Surely he knows what my skin colour is by now???angry

He's started saying it to DS as well, I mean what's a 3 year old supposed to do about looking pale?

I wouldn't mind but we got this deathly hue from him confused

Kefybaby Sun 20-Oct-13 11:40:06

Amber, I am going to try saying this too! grin

AgentZigzag Sun 20-Oct-13 11:29:36

I was called Morticia as well ipswich, even had in on my name badge at work grin

Amber76 Sun 20-Oct-13 09:11:42

It drives me mad too - I don't mind when I am actually tired but hate it being said when I think I look fine. My "wish I had the courage to be rude" response:
"You look tired"
Me: "So do you, you look terrible...did you get any sleep at all last night?" All said in a very faux sympathetic tone.

ipswichwitch Sun 20-Oct-13 09:03:40

Thanks for the cuppa change grin
An ex-boyfriends pet name for me was Morticia - yep, as in Adams - because I'm so pale. Silly twat actually thought it was a term of endearment and therefore nice! Didn't endear me to him, just added to the catalogue of reasons why he's ex!

changeforthebetter Sun 20-Oct-13 08:21:51


Thoughtless buggers!

I look shattered and ill and I'm pre-menstrual angry I bet I look worse than you wink

ipswichwitch Sun 20-Oct-13 08:14:01

I get this all the time since I have pale skin and get ruddy great dark circles under my eyes at the least hint of tiredness. 2 people asked me this week if I had a black eye! Then when I said no one actually said are you sure? confused like I would forget getting a black eye.

But yes, such comments are rarely followed by any offer of practical help or even a cup of tea - it's just designed to make you feel even more shit so I now say of course I'm bloody tired - I'm 32 weeks pregnant with chronic heartburn, carpal tunnel syndrome and bad hips, and a toddler that doesn't like sleep and I have to get up at 6.30 for work.

Mumof3xx Sun 20-Oct-13 08:08:06

Agreed its rude

Pisses me right off especially when said by colleagues with no kids who still live with their ruddy patents

echt Sun 20-Oct-13 08:04:51

It's just bloody rude, unless followed up by an offer of baby-sitting.

LimitedEditionLady Sun 20-Oct-13 07:56:22

Oh glad its not just me then!!good job i quite like the pale look,i dont think i look washed out,this is just who i am.

DonnaRoll Sun 20-Oct-13 00:21:36

I also get the 'you look pale, are you feeling alright' comments. I'm not ill, it's the colour of my skin - pale and washed out look. Poor DS has the same colouring as me, very pale but with dark hair and the poor boy doesn't even change colour in the summer!

AgentZigzag Sat 19-Oct-13 23:54:31

I used to revel in the 'you're so pale' remarks in my goth days grin the death warmed up look was the aim of the game.

LimitedEditionLady Sat 19-Oct-13 23:32:42

I get that "oh you look pale"
Yes?i am freeking pale,thats my freeking skin colour!!im not ill or tired im just not blessed with that lovely glow some people have!!

noddingoff Sat 19-Oct-13 23:29:12

I hate this. It does mean "you look like shit" and is an utterly pointless comment. I only ever say it to people I know have been up for 36hours without sleep and have just said themselves how tired they are, as a sympathetic thing. Never to anyone who hoped they looked as if they were coping OK.
I get this quite a bit (pale complexion, black rings under eyes unless concealer on). My favourite answer is a spritely "Thanks!" and a big 200 watt smile which is basically a polite way of replying, "You're being an arse".

blue2 Sat 19-Oct-13 22:20:07

I tend to go so pale in the winter, that I almost turn blue! I always get the 'tired' comments.

Now I use this instead of my normal moisturiser...
tinted moistiuriser

The comments have stopped!

sonlypuppyfat Sat 19-Oct-13 22:14:36

I finished with a friend who kept saying that to me. If you can't say something nice don't say anything.

GeekInThePink Sat 19-Oct-13 22:12:47

I get this a lot. When I am tired yes but normally I am not so tired I hide it with industrial under eye concealer.

When really gets me is when I get told I'm tired and the person asking gives me a side ways head glance too.

It makes me stabby!

Kefybaby Sat 19-Oct-13 22:10:46

DoJo, you have a point.
Sometimes it is hard to offload, for example in the workplace when you might be trying to appear competent and on top of whatever life might be throwing at you.

Kefybaby Sat 19-Oct-13 22:05:39

I often get this comment when I have no makeup on too. I do not know if it means that I look like shit without makeup on or if they are trying to tell me that I cannot hold it together and don't even have time to put some makeup on. Either way, it is not great!

DoJo Sat 19-Oct-13 22:03:03

I do think that sometimes people say things like this to give you permission to have a moan about it - it's a way to start a conversation about how you are doing and acknowledging that what you are doing is probably hard work. Still doesn't necessarily feel good though, but unless you suspect someone is actively trying to upset you, take it as a cue to offload for a while.

LateBear Sat 19-Oct-13 21:53:44

It's the 'polite' way of saying you look like shit, and a totally pointless thing to say. What does it achieve except make you feel even worse? I got it off my MIL once when I wasn't wearing make up. I just said oh I'm fine thanks, I'm just not wearing any makeup. (ie this is my natural face!)

WitchOfEndor Sat 19-Oct-13 21:49:45

I took DS to meet some of DHs work mates (when he was a few weeks old) and the first thing one of them said was "You look tired". I could have punched him.

Kefybaby Sat 19-Oct-13 21:46:52

Agent, Ok, some people might mean well, but it is really not what you want to hear at a vulnerable time and it is not helpful.
Amy, my thoughts exactly! grin

FunnyRunner Sat 19-Oct-13 21:46:20

I had one frenemy years ago who used to tell me I looked tired. Strangely enough she always picked times when I looked good - nice clothes, bit of slap on etc. When I spotted the pattern I was angry Basically she was trying to subtly put me down when I looked nice - all <head tilt> 'Oh you look tired. Is everything okay?'

Needless to say she is an ex-frenemy grin

Wolfcub Sat 19-Oct-13 21:42:37

so fecking knackered I can't even type wink

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