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To think that if you invite guests round you should turn off the tv?

(107 Posts)
MogwaiTheGremlin Sat 19-Oct-13 18:54:49

We were invited round to dh's mate's house for afternoon tea with the kids. We arrived at the appointed hour to find him sat on the sofa watching rugby. He made us tea then resumed watching and basically didn't move for the 2 hours we were there even though the kids were playing in the large open plan kitchen where all the toys are.
His wife and I spent the whole time hovering between the two rooms trying to keep an eye on the children whilst attempting to have a conversation with dh and his mate.
Dh loves sport but if there was a particular match he wanted to see he would record it not watch it while we had guests! Or not suggest that time in the first place?
Ds had a lovely time playing with their children but the adults really didn't have a chance to catch up and we only see them a few times a year.
I think it's really rude but maybe I'm expecting too much ceremony?!

vix206 Sat 19-Oct-13 18:57:27

Yes I think it's very rude but sadly very common. Especially where sport is involved. We don't have a tv through choice, so I guess it bothers me more than most.

FreeWee Sat 19-Oct-13 18:57:32

Rude. I hate it. Is my conversation not entertaining enough? Then don't invite me round. I struggle to follow a conversation with TV background noise.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sat 19-Oct-13 18:59:18

Yes, rude. We get this in the other direction - guests come to our house then switch our TV on and start watching it.

howmuchwouldyoutake Sat 19-Oct-13 19:01:03

Very rude. My DP would do this - he'd genuinely not see a problem with it. I also have to nag him to stop playing on his phone when we have guests!

SomethingOnce Sat 19-Oct-13 19:01:17


Particularly so if it's crap telly.

Libertine73 Sat 19-Oct-13 19:03:40

endoplastic really? How odd, and rude!

Unless we've invited people found to specifically watch the football, then no programs would be on, but we have been known to put music tv on in the background at the end of the night.

The situation you describe sounds bloody rude though, good the wife seem happy? I would have said something if my other half did that.

Libertine73 Sat 19-Oct-13 19:04:29


ImperialBlether Sat 19-Oct-13 19:06:07

It is really rude. I would've gone home in that situation, OP. What was the point in you being there?

TheHouseCleaner Sat 19-Oct-13 19:06:59

It's very, very rude.

Bowlersarm Sat 19-Oct-13 19:07:28

Against the grain here.

If England were playing cricket I wouldn't turn the TV off. I would turn the sound down though wink.

Therefore I would understand friends passions about other sports.

ScarletLady02 Sat 19-Oct-13 19:09:02

If the rugby was on I wouldn't invite people round....or if I did I'd make a point of saying "I'm watching the rugby, but feel free to come anyway". I'm capable of watching rugby and having a conversation but little will drag me away from watching England play I'm afraid grin

I can completely see your point though...I'm just stating how I would deal with it. If it was just any old shit on the TV, I'd turn it off.

Alexandrite Sat 19-Oct-13 19:09:11

YANBU, although I did put it on when close friends and family came over when it was the Olympics last summer. The Olympics seemed different somehow.

MogwaiTheGremlin Sat 19-Oct-13 19:10:16

She seemed fine but she was left to look after us (not that we needed anything after the tea but ykwim) and supervise her two kids who were being quite naughty - her words not mine!
I would be really annoyed if dh sat on the sofa while I entertained his friends and looked after ds.
I also didn't want to leave her alone in the kitchen as it seemed really unfair and a bit lonely!

BillyBanter Sat 19-Oct-13 19:11:18

Maybe his wife arranged that time without consultation and he was watching it in protest.

MogwaiTheGremlin Sat 19-Oct-13 19:21:24

I enjoy watching sport too (especially big matches - not so fussed about group stage Heineken Cup in this particular case!) but it just felt really divisive. The kids are too young to sit and watch and they needed supervising which meant we couldn't all be in the same room.

They suggested the time but I have no idea what enjoyment they got out of the afternoon. I would have left but ds was having a ball so it was a great way for us to kill some time on a rainy Saturday!

Oh and I agree about the Olympics - I was at a dinner party when the opening ceremony was on and the host kept the tv on throughout - but we were all sat round the table watching so it didn't seem the least bit rude.

MogwaiTheGremlin Sat 19-Oct-13 19:23:04

Ha Billy it was definitely him as he texted my dh!

BillyBanter Sat 19-Oct-13 19:29:35

then he's just rude!

I am, perhaps cynically, thinking that the plan was the two mums would look after the kids, perhaps taking them out, while the two dads got to watch rugby and scratch their balls all afternoon.

MogwaiTheGremlin Sat 19-Oct-13 19:53:58


Coupon Sat 19-Oct-13 19:58:12

YANBU. Why have guests if you're going to ignore them?

bigbrick Sat 19-Oct-13 19:58:31

Let them watch their match whilst you & your friend catch up & the kids play. I find this fine.

Dawndonnaagain Sat 19-Oct-13 20:01:30

Height of bad manners. People come to my house, even unannounced, television goes off.

MogwaiTheGremlin Sat 19-Oct-13 20:01:38

big she's not my friend! She's a lovely woman but she's my husband's friend's wife who I have met approximately 10 times. And her children weren't playing they were attacking each other and crying!

bigbrick Sat 19-Oct-13 20:03:05

Oh that's not good Mogwai - next time your dh should go round on his own

Milkjug Sat 19-Oct-13 20:03:29

It's pig ignorant. If someone did that to me, I would assume my presence was an irritant, and remove myself from the house. But the OP's visit was arranged at the request of the knuckle-dragged who couldn't tear his eyes off the TV, and at a time he had chosen...

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