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To think that it is irresponsible to...

(31 Posts)
QueenoftheSarf Thu 17-Oct-13 15:41:36

...leave your child (aged 11) with your ex husband during half term week to go on holiday abroad with your new boyfriend and to only tell your ex and child that you will be going away but not where?

There are no issues of the mother being hunted down by her ex or trouble starting or anything like that whatsoever as she and her ex are on good terms. The reason given is simply "they don't need to know where I am as long as I'm contactable by phone".

Personally, I can't understand the mentality of this and wouldn't find this behaviour acceptable for a mother or a father of a dependent child but am beginning to wonder whether I'm over-reacting a bit? Is it something lots of people find perfectly reasonable?

Snatchoo Thu 17-Oct-13 16:15:31

I think it's a bit weird tbh, but this is the way DSSs mum has always operated.

Except she would also turn off her phone and not actually be contactable at all angry

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Thu 17-Oct-13 16:19:23

As long as the child is fine with it then your opinion doesn't really matter foes it?

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 17-Oct-13 16:33:32

I'd always want to have as many ways of contact for my childrens sake.

Fishfingersandwich9 Thu 17-Oct-13 17:37:16

It seems petty but not irresponsible. If its only a week long trip then unlikely to be long haul and the ex knowing exact location won't make any difference if they have the phone number. Mobile phones work perfectly well abroad these days!

wigglesrock Thu 17-Oct-13 18:05:23

I'm leaving my 3 kids with my parents tomorrow & going away for the weekend <shrug>. I'm leaving them our 2 mobile numbers (which they have) & the name of the hotel.

The child in your example is with their Dad, am sure he will be able to manage for week.

TwoStepsBeyond Thu 17-Oct-13 18:18:43

Ivy I imagine its to do with having the ex look after the DS, perhaps he had booked time off to spend with him at half term and mum thought this was an ideal opportunity to get away.

As for being unfair to go away without your child, when you're solely responsible for looking after. DCs 90% of the time you need a break.

I find that if I'm at home, my DCs end up popping in because they have forgotten stuff, ex texts because he needs something etc. the only way to truly switch off is to get away.

Perhaps her new boyfriend is paying, so although she may not be able to afford to take her DS, she's not going to turn down the chance of a nice break instead of staying home alone, fending off requests for more socks or lost homework.

There are so many variables in this situation and you're right, without understanding the dynamics of any particular couple, especially a divorced couple co parenting a child, you can't really understand. I suggest you stay well out of it and keep your judgey pants neatly folded away for another day.

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