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AIBU to think NCT classes are a waste of time & money?

(237 Posts)
LittlePeaPod Thu 17-Oct-13 08:18:32

Am I been unreasonable to think NCT classes are a waste of time and money after only attending the first session and the only reason I should go back is to get to know the other new mums to be because they all seem like a really nice bunch of ladies.

Attended our first NCT session last night and I have to say I was really disappointed in the class. The two and a half hour session was boring and verging on condescending. The activities can only be compared to those crappy training activities you get in crappy work based training sessions. The MW is clearly pro natural birth with no intervention what's so ever including any form of pain relief and her method of trying to scare the new mums into following her path was crap IMHO. For example she proclaimed swaddling new borns has been linked to cot deaths! When I asked her to give us some facts so we could understand what exactly the risk associated to swaddling is, she couldn't. [Hmm] The breast feeding guilt trip started last night please don't got me wrong i understand the benefits of breast feeding a new born She clearly hasn't considered that there may be mums in the group that will struggle with breast feeding and they way she went on anyone that does struggle will feel like a failure and like they are letting their baby down this goes for anything other than a VB with no pain relief too

I am a logical person and it frustrated me that the MW didn't seem able to back her statements up with actual facts. She just blubbed scary shit and there was no opportunity for real discussion. Either she is not used to people asking questions or she was just trying to frighten us into following the path that she did when she had her children. So much for giving new mums to be the relevant unbiased information so we can prepare for the birth / post birth including what could go wrong and god forbid anything does go wrong we can at least be informed so we can make decisions quickly. If last nights session is a sign of things to come I think the MW is going to get a shock because I won't be able to sit there and just nod!

I understand at 29 weeks pregnant I can be a bit unreasonable sometimes. So please ladies AIBU?

usuallyright Sun 20-Oct-13 10:17:36

I had three uncomplicated vaginal deliveries the nct would be proud of. But I avoided nct classes because I'd heard from numerous friends that they focused on the birth massively. And I've never been obsessed with have birth process. It's something to get past so you can see your baby, imo. The very nature of birth is often so unpredictable that massively over preparing for it, writing long rambling birth plans etc.. Is to miss the whole point of pregnancy=Parenthood. I had a hunch that some nct'ers treated the whole experience of birth and parenting as a competitive sport and that's not for me.

Worriedthistimearound Sun 20-Oct-13 10:43:20

I didn't mean birthing without pain relief, I meant without major intervention such as forceps or csection.

I'm not anti any of these and went in with an open and informed mind willing to go with whatever was required. I certainly didn't want to suffer pain or trauma simply because I felt I should. What I didn't want was abdominal surgery unless it was necessary mainly because of the recovery time. I certainly dont think that most women want to suffer pain in labour so perhaps we are talking at cross purposes. i do think that most women, given the choice would like to get through it will as little pain and as little intervention as possible.
I do however agree that an independent study would be interesting.

LittlePeaPod Sun 20-Oct-13 11:11:46

Svrider have I got this right? So in all three pregnancies your community MW didn't discuss or mention any antenatal classes NHS etc. or even talk about a birth plan if you so wanted one? That's just a different level of slack in care/support, verging on incompetent from the MW, IMO.

Usuallyright Its something to get past so you can see your baby, imo. I couldn't agree more. And from my limited experience what you have heard about NCT classes focusing purely on the birth intervention free births is true. I am on my first pregnancy and I also agree with your thoughts that its seems that the birthing process is some form of competition for some. In fact I would go as far as to say some people see it as some sort of badge of honour if you go all intervention free, when in fact for me "it's a means to an end". Like you say, to meet your baby.

Svrider Sun 20-Oct-13 11:19:12

Littlepea yes you have that rightshock
Dd1 i referred to consultant "care" due to age
They saw me once, for 5mins after12 week scan and discharged me. Didn't refer me back to midwife tho...
Dd2 I asked MW (who i saw x2) regarding classes and she said to look out for a leaflet thru the door (no leaflet)
Ds1 (dc3) I was determined to go, just so I could see what was said etc...
I was told they are only available for first time or vulnerable mums

LittlePeaPod Sun 20-Oct-13 11:23:32

Svrider shock and confused. I don't really know what to say.. What if you had issues with high blood pressure or GD? You would to have know.

LittlePeaPod Sun 20-Oct-13 11:24:09

That should be "you would not have know anything was wrong"

Mia1415 Sun 20-Oct-13 11:27:36

I thought my NCT classes where brilliant. I made excellent friends & the facilitator was excellent.

I am a single mum & went on my own to classes. Many of the exercises were designed for couples but I was never made to feel left out & I'm thoroughly glad I went.

Retroformica Sun 20-Oct-13 11:32:24

Our nct classes were quite good. However the best thing was meeting my 3 best friends through the sessions. Twelve years down the line our kids are very much like very close cousins having known each other all their lives.

Retroformica Sun 20-Oct-13 11:34:03

I found the nct classes very informative. Lots of clear info about feeding and birth etc.

LittlePeaPod Sun 20-Oct-13 11:37:56

It's great to hear the positive experiences too. It's such a shame that this experience is nt consistancy across the organisations classes.

Twoandtwohalves Sun 20-Oct-13 11:38:17

I do think it's the luck of the draw: I had a great experience on our class 2.5 yrs ago, great teacher (didn't spot an agenda, realistic about the 25% CS rate in our area and helped prepare us), lovely bunch of people who we still meet and support (eg we rallied round when our children have been in hospital), dads too. Whilst it focused on the birth and didn't exactly tell me anything I couldn't have read, it did involve DH and we had lots of really good "what if" conversations in the car on the way there and back as a result of the session (eg about parenting styles and aspirations, if the birth/baby was not what we expected for whatever reason). Those conversations wouldn't have happened without the class. We had a fairly "average" spread of birth experiences with 2 CS, 2 assisted, a couple of neonatal infections leading to stays in transitional care and at least one "ideal" NCT birth where everything went to plan.

It's not the be all and end all for making friends. I made friends elsewhere with another woman who had been on the class before ours: same area, same teacher, and would completely agree with the OP. They never gelled as a group and she didn't like the style of the teacher.

LittlePeaPod Tue 22-Oct-13 13:52:04

Agree Toandtwo. It is a lottery...

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