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AIBU?

to think the childminder should not be making arrangements with the school over my head?

105 replies

kawliga · 16/10/2013 21:02

Here's the situation which is making me feel really angry: the childminder picks up a few children from different schools nearby. She has to park the car, walk to the school gate (not easy to park directly outside but sometimes she does this which is just wrong in itself) pick up DD, then do the same at some nearby schools. She doesn't really need to be doing it in a car but heyho. Anyway she waited for DD's teacher after school and told the teacher that she has to pick DD about 15 minutes or 20 minutes early from school (before the end of school) to give her time to get to the next school gate in time for the next DC to come out there. I am livid. There are so many things wrong with this situation I don't even know where to begin. I have never told the childminder not to approach DD's teacher to make arrangements about DD because I honestly never thought any childminder would consider this a reasonable thing to do. Surely that's always the role of the parent? AIBU? Obviously the teacher did not say she could do that (not even sure the teacher is authorised to do that, but I'm not sure since I would never try to pick up a child early just for my convenience who does that?? Is that acceptable in any way? Angry

OP posts:
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crochetcackle · 16/10/2013 21:04

YANBU

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TeenAndTween · 16/10/2013 21:06

YANBU

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grabaspoon · 16/10/2013 21:06

YANBU - I am a nanny and I wouldn't be able to do this and my boss lets me liaise with the school as she never does pick up/drop offs.

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WorraLiberty · 16/10/2013 21:06

OMFG Shock

She's bang out of order (not that the school would allow it anyway)

Who does she think she is, deciding how much education your child receives every day?

If she's taken on more children than she can manage due to the different schools, she needs to sort herself out.

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MammaTJ · 16/10/2013 21:07

No, it is not acceptable for her to approach the teacher to try to change the times for her convenience, it is not acceptable fro anyone to try to change the end time of a childs school day for their convenience. YANBU!!

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cardibach · 16/10/2013 21:07

THat's ridiculous. If she can't pick up the children at the correct times, she shouldn't have taken them on to mind. YANBU.

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ilovesooty · 16/10/2013 21:08

YANBU. Absolutely not on.

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Delayingtactic · 16/10/2013 21:09

Wow. Just wow. The sheer brass balls of the woman!

What are you intending to do about it??

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IneedAsockamnesty · 16/10/2013 21:09

That's really shocking

Yanbu

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Wibblypiglikesbananas · 16/10/2013 21:09

That is shocking! Move your child to someone more rational - and report her to Ofsted too.

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 16/10/2013 21:09

What Worra said! I would be livid.

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2kidsintow · 16/10/2013 21:09

You need to find another childminder. Yours obviously has too much on her plate and didn't think about the repercussions before taking the other children on.

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NatashaBee · 16/10/2013 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/10/2013 21:09

find a new cm- one that ideally doesnt have lots of school runs

why should your child miss out so she is on time for other child, plus tbh not sure any school would do this on a regular occurrence

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thursdaysgirls · 16/10/2013 21:10

YADNBU

Theres two primary schools near me - one lets out at 3:15pm and the other (a bit further up, which my DD1 goes to) lets out at 3:30pm which allows the childminders in my area of town to drop off/collect from both schools.

CM is probably running herself ragged doing all the school runs but then thats her own fault for taking on work she knows she cannot possibly do. And to ask that your child miss out on 20 mins of education? Bang out of order.

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Floggingmolly · 16/10/2013 21:11

Shock! You can't continue to use her, you just can't.

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KepekCrumbs · 16/10/2013 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trixymalixy · 16/10/2013 21:12

Wow! YANBU. I would be absolutely fuming.

You need a new childminder.

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WorraLiberty · 16/10/2013 21:13

And I agree with whoever said report her to OFSTED

If she's that unprofessional, I'd worry about what she's like all round

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kawliga · 16/10/2013 21:14

Thank you I'm so angry that I thought I wasn't seeing straight and might be missing something because of how angry I was. The teacher didn't look shocked when she told me about this. It was quite casual, like 'oh, the childminder asked if she could pick your dd up early'. I called the childminder to say WTF and that's when she explained to me that if she doesn't leave early she will be late for the other DC. She also said 'oh, they don't do anything important in the last half hour of school'. The childminder used to be a dinner lady I guess this is how she knows what happens in the school and maybe what gave her confidence to do such a brazen thing.

I also feel so scared that such a thing could even potentially happen, I will be checking the school policies just to check the situation. What come-back would I have against the school, since I'm the one who sends the childminder to pick up my dd? I guess it's not the school's job to check if she's authorized and I was just very lucky the teacher happened to mention it to me? DD is 6, so she would not necessarily tell me that she is picked up early I might never have found out. Scared and angry.

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WorraLiberty · 16/10/2013 21:17

The school havent' done anything wrong...in fact they did the right thing by informing you of her crazy request.

How the fuck would a dinner lady know anything about class lessons??

Anyhow, what if PE was last lesson? Would the CM expect her not to do it at all...or go back to the class alone to get dressed?

Utterly stupid woman.

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thursdaysgirls · 16/10/2013 21:17

Report her to OFSTED and find another CM immediately.

Is there an after school club DD could go to instead? They have "wrap around care" and my DD1s school, it costs £5 and they stay till 6pm.

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Delayingtactic · 16/10/2013 21:17

I don't think the school would ever agree to it in the first place. I've heard on MN that they give you grief even if it's a one off for good reason.

I can't even imagine that she thought it ok. My CMs specifically state which schools they do pickups from straight off so you know whether they are the right ones for you.

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FortyDoorsToNowhere · 16/10/2013 21:18

Yanbu.

If you continue to use her, perhaps suggest to the teacher that your DC is one of the first to leave. (DD teacher has agreed to this so i can pick DS up)

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WorraLiberty · 16/10/2013 21:18

And yes, it is the school's job to check whether your child is being taken by an authorised person.

They would need any requests to leave early in writing...from you or your DC's Dad.

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