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To be fucked off that parents not vaccinating their child is risking my childs life?

(348 Posts)
TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 20:51:04

I never judged them before. I never cared, if they chose not to vaccinate their child I always thought it was their choice and its not for me to have an opinion.
I never used to give it much more thought that that. I vaccinate mu children and what others do with theirs is none of my business.

Until I have a child who's immune system is often (but not always, steroid use) compramised. He is more likely to pick up bugs, and not deal with them very well.

He is also allergic to many things. I know tha egg allergy isnt usually an issue, but the MMR is cultivated on egg albumin. He is allergic to egg (anaphylactic) chicken meat, and feathers. The whole caboodle. Im pretty sure his tiny body wont like egg albumin either.

He's due to have this vaccine very very soon in hospital and Im absolutely shitting myself. Every time I remember it my stomach drops and my heart races.

Im genuinely thinking, what if he dies?

I cant get the vaccines done individually because the private clinics wont touch me with a barge pole.

I cant risk leaving it (Ive left it 18 months so far) because the area I live in has a very low MMR rate.

And that really, really angers me. Probably irrationally so.

I should be able to leave it. My son should be protected by societies use of the MMR.

Instead I either have to risk him getting an illness, or risk giving him this injection.

As if he hasnt been enough already.

I know IABU, but I just feel very resentful and angry towards those who choose not to vaccine right now.

More than prepared to be flamed for this.

CoteDAzur Tue 15-Oct-13 21:27:57

YABU. I'm sorry about your DS but you are being hypocritical.

By that reasoning, your unvaccinated child is also risking other unvaccinated children's lives.

You don't want to take the risks you perceive to be important (eggs in MMR, mumps etc) but you think other parents should take these and other risks so you don't have to.

cafecito Tue 15-Oct-13 21:31:45

as a medic and as a mother of a child who had complete immunosuppression due to transplants I understand your posts entirely. However, you are being unreasonable in directing your anger at other people's free will to do what they consider, rightly or wrongly, to be in the best interests of their children, too.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 15-Oct-13 21:32:41

The risk of complications is low Gloves smile

Measles I was spotty for 10 days and felt rough for the first few, all feverish. Mumps I had a horrible sore throat/glands for a week or so.

HappyHalloweenMollyHooper Tue 15-Oct-13 21:33:19

I don't agree with what you're saying but as a mother, it makes sense.

If that makes sense?

You just want your child to be safe.

I wish I had some useful information/experience to give you.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Tue 15-Oct-13 21:33:24


I really doubt it was the MMR injection. My son has autism and i have been on about 3 courses about autism.

The parents I have been on the course with I would say 80% of parents have said the same thing.

I think my son is starting to lose some of his speech again, he is stuttering a far bit more.

SanctimoniousArse Tue 15-Oct-13 21:33:54

My dd cannot be vaccinated OP but no way do I think other parents should be either forced too or guilt tripped into vaccinating. It's a choice. She was on steroids lots too (once in hospital with a child with chickenpox in the next cubicle. Bad hospital management if you ask me)
I just ask that the school make sure I'm notified if any child has measles. I'm not worried about mums. dd caught rubella and chickenpox already (fortunetaly between steroids). To be honest, given her serious chest issues she is more at risk of those parents who send their kids into school with bad colds, coughs and flu. Any of those could kill her.

loveandsmiles Tue 15-Oct-13 21:35:00

YABU ~ I am sorry for your situation, but you don't know others ~ this is a free country with free choice. None of my DC are vaccinated for my own personal reasons ~ everyone of us is different and make different choices to the benefit of ourselves.

ziggiestardust Tue 15-Oct-13 21:35:49

We have a history of vaccinations going very wrong in our family; SIL is still brain damaged as a result of one of hers.

When I went to the doctor to ask and discuss my worries over my son; they were extremely dismissive and effectively shrugged off my worries. He had an egg intolerance at the time which resulted in him being really quite ill until we figured out what it was. When I asked the vaccine nurse which vaccines were egg based, and if we might be at risk, she changed her mind twice in 30 seconds over which ones weren't/were egg based, and told me we'd probably be fine. Yes, probably we would've been fine, but what if we weren't?

DS is now 3 and we are starting on a course of the recommended vaccinations this month. He has grown out of his egg intolerance and has put on weight well (very low birth weight and failed to thrive for a time). I relied on herd immunity until I felt his system would be strong enough to take it, (it's the DPT vaccine which we have history with). I am paying for him to have single MMR vaccines after Christmas.

Maybe I haven't done it by the book, but I did what I believed was best at the time.

Once you've seen an adverse reaction to a vaccine... I don't know. My MIL has never forgiven herself sad

trixymalixy Tue 15-Oct-13 21:38:42

Both my DC are allergic to egg (epipen carrying too), they were both fine with the MMR, they had it in hospital too. I waited until they were 3 until I gave them it.

The take up of MMR has gone up massively recently due to that scare. I think if I was in your shoes I wouldn't vaccinate given how allergic to all chicken parts your child is.

2tiredtocare Tue 15-Oct-13 21:39:14

Surely more people have died/become severely ill as a result of contracting measles as opposed to receiving MMR

goodasitgets Tue 15-Oct-13 21:39:50

I haven't had it. Was anaphylactic to egg (am not now)
Doctor advised my mum not to give it as I'd already stopped breathing from egg in her BM

TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 21:42:10

Yes cote its called herd immunity. Healthy children get immunised so those who are genuinely ill and vaccines are potentially detrimental to them, dont have to.

I didnt choose for my son to have serious health problems, but I do choose to vaccinate.

Im not contradicting myself, I am pro vaccine. I would vaccinate every child I had. But I have one which is hugely, hugely at risk. Because of this, I shouldnt have to.

If all healthy children were vaccinated, my unvaccintaed child would not be putting them at risk.

TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 21:46:05

Trixy I was planning in waiting. But because if all his health issues, day and night Im being pulled, needed and demanded constantly. His health issues are constant. I really need a break. I want him to start nursery next year, but dont want him to start unvaccinated.

So I could postpone it.

But I think he will be allergic when he is 3, even when he is 4. I dont think things will improve for some time.

How long do I risk measles for? My eldest (vaccinated!) son got measles last year. Thankfully my youngest didnt get it. But its been on our doorstep, we have measles in our house.
Do I risk that again?

CoteDAzur Tue 15-Oct-13 21:55:01

I know what "herd immunity" is.

Do you know what "hypocrisy" is?

Your child is unvaccinated because you perceive the vaccine to be dangerous but you are "fucked off" that other parents have not vaccinated their DC because they perceive the vaccine to be dangerous.

Again, I'm sorry about your DS but you need to consider the possibility that other people might have reasons not to vaccinate, too.

2tiredtocare Tue 15-Oct-13 21:57:38

So when there was a huge measles outbreak in Wales we are to presume that all the unvaccinated children had underlying health conditions

TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 21:59:29

YES dangerous for my son and his health issues, you rude, sarcastic, patronising person.

How common IS it for a child to have an egg, chicken and feather allergy? I.e the WHOLE chicken.

The MMR isnt risky for the average child. It is risky for those rare, rare few with health issues.

Im saying if all healthy children (i.e those who arent at risk having the MMR) were vaccinated then those who did have health issues that put em at risk would no longer be at risk.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 15-Oct-13 21:59:30


Apparently so - all of them hmm

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 15-Oct-13 22:01:07


Unlike the OP some parents are factually incorrect in their belief the vaccines are dangerous for their children.

Jan49 Tue 15-Oct-13 22:01:28

OP, if someone's child is left severely brain damaged by a vaccine, do you still think they owed it to you to have their child vaccinated to protect your child? So your child's safety is more important than their child's safety?

Do you drive? Do you accept that if you do, you are increasing the risk of a road traffic accident death for other people including my dc? Can I demand that you don't drive? Why should my child's risk be increased by your selfish decisions? I don't drive.

pixiepotter Tue 15-Oct-13 22:02:53

yabu your child is at risk from contracting theswe diseases from other children who can't be immunised, those who are too young to be immunised and those who have been immunised but still caught them, as well as those who choose not to immunise

TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 22:04:09

Jan who has been severely brain damaged by a vaccine?

TheGlovesAreOrf Tue 15-Oct-13 22:06:22

Exactly pixie it makes it so much worse. Im not sure why Iabu in that sense, since I totally agree with you.

The whole point of the MMR is to lower the risk, or at best eradicate it altogether. The younger ones and those who cant be vaccinated should be protected by that.

You aregued my point. And told me I was BU......?

MangroveGirl Tue 15-Oct-13 22:06:40

Ds had measles at 5 months. Rang doctor who said he would not know what measles looked like. I treated my son at home.
When it became time for the MMR I was in 2 minds, the deciding factor for me was a doctor on tv who talked about how todays mothers do not remember the 1960's when if you got measles you died.
As someone who remembered the 1960's and like her classmates was positively encouraged to contract measles, german measles (rubella) and chickenpox early to get them out of the way and like my classmates wasn't dead I decided against the vaccine. Ds has since had chicken pox and rubella.
I am sure that there are children out there who won't sail thru these illnesses as my ds did but for me I have come across more problems with vaccines than with the illnesses themselves.
Maybe I am of a different generation but my worry for those that have no opportunity to get these illnesses and who are not vaccinated as children is these illnesses are all so much worse when contracted as an adult.

CoteDAzur Tue 15-Oct-13 22:06:46

Alis - You don't know who those parents are.

Is this your first vaccine thread? Stick around a bit and you will see quite a few parents who have a vaccine-damaged child and siblings they have not vaccinated as a result.

2tiredtocare Tue 15-Oct-13 22:07:08

Those who are too young to be immunised would be protected by herd immunity too

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