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AIBU?

to have kicked off at another mother for confirming her child's fear of dogs!

364 replies

MrJugsMummy · 15/10/2013 17:12

Just taken my DS and our 1 year old springer spaniel for a walk in our local park. He was running off his lead as he always does and a toddler walked around the corner without her mother. Our spaniel is quite a caring dog and loves children and often tends to mother them somewhat (he worried himself senseless when my DS was ill last week slept on the sofa next to him and woke every time he so much as sniffed!) so he went up to the child the child screamed I called Brian away and said to the little girl "it's fine he won't hurt you he just wants to say hi", the kids mother then decided to make an appearance and pick up the child and had a go at me saying that I shouldn't let my dog off of his lead! She then turned to the child and said "Did he bite you?" to watch the child now upping the screaming and crying actually said "No" she then turned to me and said my dog was a menace and shouldn't be allowed near children!

I snapped at this point and said "My dog was concerned about the fact your child was seemingly by itself in a park, he simply went up to her to check she was ok, he didn't even jump up at her let alone bite her" she then started saying again that he shouldn't be off his lead!
I really got riled up then and shouted "My 5 year old son is here right next to me, I would have no qualms about leaving him alone in a room with my dog as he is well trained and good tempered and adores him, if I had any doubts about his behaviour I would not have him as a family pet and if I had any concerns about his behaviour around children do you seriously I would let him off his lead in a park after school with loads of children around!" I then stormed off and muttered that she was a stupid bitch!

I get so annoyed at parents who do this if your child doesn't like dogs don't take them to places where dogs are, I get that all children are scared of things but why confirm the fear?! If my DS ever shows fear about something I either reassure him that nothing will hurt him or tell him how to avoid being hurt.

Grr rant over

OP posts:
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IComeFromALandDownUnder · 15/10/2013 17:14

You were wrong. Your dog should have been on a lead. I have owned many dogs and I do not for one second believe your dog has the brain power to worry about a child on it's own in the park.

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Talkinpeace · 15/10/2013 17:16

Your dog should have been on a lead
why?
that is only the rule in some parks
it is not a general principle

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MrJugsMummy · 15/10/2013 17:19

In our local park controlled dogs are allowed off of their lead as soon as he went to the child and she screamed I called him back he was well controlled and he stayed away from her under my instruction

OP posts:
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SoupDragon · 15/10/2013 17:19

My dog was concerned about the fact your child was seemingly by itself in a park, he simply went up to her to check she was ok

A one year old spaniel? Hmm

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MarcelineTheVampireQueen · 15/10/2013 17:19

Is this some weird type of reverse?

You are totally unreasonable. Its not up to you to determine whether people are afraid of dogs. Its your job to keep your dog on a leash.

Your dog was no more worried about a childin a park. Its a dog. Treat it as such and leash it.

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pippop1 · 15/10/2013 17:20

Sorry, but loose dogs increase children's fears of dogs as they can see they can run quickly and jump up. A dog on a lead with a responsible owner asking if the child would like to come a little nearer is a different matter.

Surely it is sensible to be scared of a loose dog OP? How can a child (or an adult actually) judge whether any particular dog is friendly or not?

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Tuonz · 15/10/2013 17:20

My dog was concerned about the fact your child was seemingly by itself in a park, he simply went up to her to check she was ok - hahahaha

If my DS ever shows fear about something I either reassure him that nothing will hurt him or tell him how to avoid being hurt. - I eagerly await the child psychology book that will make you millions from this simple fear curing technique.

I love dogs, I have dogs. ANY dog can bite. No matter how well behaved or trained. Train your dog not to approach strangers. I'm sure you yelling at the mother made a frightening experience for a small child so much better too. You cannot choose how others parent, you can avoid being a rude person.

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WorraLiberty · 15/10/2013 17:21

I snapped at this point and said "My dog was concerned about the fact your child was seemingly by itself in a park, he simply went up to her to check she was ok,

Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Sorry, I can't take the rest of your post seriously now Grin

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CoffeeTea103 · 15/10/2013 17:21

Yabvu, your dog should have been on a lead period!

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Famzilla · 15/10/2013 17:21

I am a dog owner and hate people like her. My GSD is never on a lead . ( I carry one, because you never know..)

However, if your dog goes running up to kids then I'm afraid it does need to be on a lead. My dog walks to heel and has never once approached or even really looked at anyone else. She's a bit of a snob.

Sorry, she was silly to be so hysterical about it but if your dog can't keep to itself then you should keep control of it!

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Binkyridesagain · 15/10/2013 17:21

He shouldn't have approached her in the first place. As soon as you saw your dog heading in her direction you should have called him back.

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MarcelineTheVampireQueen · 15/10/2013 17:21

A controlled dog does not wander up to strangers, it stays by your side.

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5madthings · 15/10/2013 17:21

actually i appreciate your dog was just saying hello but to a small child a dog that is iften as big as them saying hello can be scary.


you know your dog but you didnt knkw the child and how it would react, what if the child had done somethung that scared or startled your dog causing it to be aggressive?


the parents should have been keepinh an eye on their child and you should have kept your dog away from the child.


i dont let my children approach dogs without checking with the owner that it is ok. i would appreciate it if dog owners didnt let their dogs 'say hello' without checking its ok with me or my children first.

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livinginwonderland · 15/10/2013 17:22

yabu to have shouted in front of a toddler answer your five year old. not a great example to set. and if your dog tends to run up to people like that, you should probably keep him on a lead around small children. spaniels are pretty bouncy - if she wasn't used to dogs, i'm not surprised she was scared.

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SoupDragon · 15/10/2013 17:22

YABU.

I despise dog owners who play the "oh, he's fine/only being friendly/won't hurt you" card.

And I speak as a spaniel owner.

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ditavonteesed · 15/10/2013 17:22

why on earth should her dog be on a lead, it was under control, thems the rules.

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Chippednailvarnish · 15/10/2013 17:22

Your dog may have been inquisitive, but to say that it was concerned about the child being on its own is totally ridiculous.
Your dog should have never of had the opportunity to go near a child.

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Cookethenook · 15/10/2013 17:22

Well... i understand that you think your dog is absolutely fine and friendly, but how did your dog go up to the child? Fast and bouncing or just wandering up? How close did he get? The child was obviously terrified.

We had a dog come bounding up to us when he was on a walk, jumping up to my 7yo, nearly knocking him over. My dad batted him away (not hard, just to get him off) and his owners went crazy, saying he was perfectly safe. Well how on earth were we supposed to know that?

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ClementineKelandra · 15/10/2013 17:22

I am a dog owner. Yabvvvvvu!!

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blackice · 15/10/2013 17:23

your response was completely unreasonable and over the top.

hope that helps

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FortyDoorsToNowhere · 15/10/2013 17:23

I would have no qualms about leaving him alone in a room with my dog as he is well trained and good tempered and adores him

NEVER trust a dog with a small child alone.

I would have done the same as the the mother, dogs shouldn't run up to any one.

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VerySmallSqueak · 15/10/2013 17:24

I think there is a lack of tolerance on both sides here,and some short fuses.
I can see comments on both sides that I think are OTT.

I think it's unfair though to suggest people shouldn't take children who don't like dogs to places where dogs are,because to be fair,that's potentially everywhere.

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bundaberg · 15/10/2013 17:24

YABU

it isn't up to you to decide whether or not other children and their parents should mind having your dog near them.

you may think your dog is the loveliest friendliest dog in the universe. and that's great.
other people don't have to.

I think it's pretty irresponsible actually to let it run up to small kids... many are scared of dogs, and it isn't fair.
perhaps you should do some more training and call him back if he's heading to kids

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MetellaEstMater · 15/10/2013 17:25

I'd be mighty pissed off if a dog approached my child like that - we are working on her fear of dogs (she is two) by gradually introducing more interaction. A strange dog approaching her would have scared her and out back her progress. Why didn't you call your dog back as soon as you saw him approaching a small child?

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HarderToKidnap · 15/10/2013 17:25

You weren't unreasonable to have your dog off the lead if it was well controlled, unless you're in a park that doesn't allow it. It is totally legal and fine and to have your well controlled dog off a lead in this country unless specified otherwise, I do wish people would pack it in with the "all dogs must be on a lead" thing. Otherwise your rant was U and a bit weird, why would the other mother care if you leave your dog and baby alone or whatever? it's irrelevant to her life,she saw her toddler crying with a dog nearby and checked toddler was OK.

She is being U though to say dog should be in a lead, if he was well controlled. You are being very U to rant at her in a weird way, attribute great powers to your dog that it doesn't have, and calling her a stupid bitch, totally no need.

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