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To not want my bridesmaid to get a cut & colour 2 1/2 hours before my wedding?

(142 Posts)
Famzilla Mon 14-Oct-13 19:33:58

Getting married on Friday, low key registry office do with lunch & a boozy evening afterwards. Only 5 people attending the ceremony including DP and I.

My bridesmaid is my dear best friend, (let's call her Kerry) she is the kindest person you could ever wish to meet. She has done so much for me and I love her. However, she's a bit of an airhead bless her.

She was supposed to get a cut & colour on Saturday but our other friend the hairdresser cancelled. Our friend the hairdresser (let's call her Ann) said don't worry, I'll do it when I come round to do Famzillas hair on Friday morning. Kerry says that's fine.

I have a 6mo Velcro baby, who Kerry obviously knows and knows how un-putdownable she is. I was relying on Kerry to give me a hand with DD whilst I did my own make up and Ann put my hair up. But obviously now Kerry needs Ann to give her a cut & colour when she comes at 9.

She has it all planned out in her head and it sounds doable if DD didn't exist. But she does so I feel like I will be literally holding the baby for the entire morning desperately waiting for her to hurry up. We have to leave at 11.20 and as well as doing my own make up, getting my hair done and getting into dress etc.. DD will need her breakfast, a BF, a bath and then getting into her own outfit.

I would never let DD CIO. I am so stressed, this was supposed to be low key and easy but now I feel like a massive bridezilla. I keep saying I don't think it's gonna work and she keeps reassuring me that it'll be fine.

Am I being a bridezilla?

YoureBeingADick Mon 14-Oct-13 22:19:26

he can still stay away. have best friend/parents/someone bring DD to him when the hairdresser arrives and they can take her to the registry office and give her to bridesmaid when you arrive there. he should be doing his bit aswell to make this an enjoyable day for you and not letting you struggle with a baby on your hip while trying to get your hair and make-up done.

mantlepiece Mon 14-Oct-13 22:20:58

I would not like the idea of a cut and colour in my house any time even without the wedding or baby to jiggle.

There will be DYE in bathroom on towels god forbid none gets on the wedding outfits... then little bits of hair cuttings everywhere.. just no.

Famzilla Mon 14-Oct-13 23:08:47

Mantle, that was also a big problem but I didn't want to be told I was being precious about mess. I don't even have any towels I'd want to sacrifice for the occasion. I like my towels, they'd have to share the dogs.

Best friend doesn't drive and I have no family. I suppose I could always send the childminder to pick her up and take her to him as she was being paid for that day anyways. <schemes>

YoureBeingADick Mon 14-Oct-13 23:14:18

yes! if CMer is being paid for the day then use her for what you need. make this as easy on yourself as possible. you don't need to be stressing on your wedding day. I also would worry about mess if i'm honest. could hairdresser do friend's hair at friend's house then both travel to yours?

Famzilla Mon 14-Oct-13 23:36:36

Hopefully bridesmaid will be having her hair done the night before now, after I explained just how difficult it would be for me if I had to wait around for her to get her hair done. I only need her to take care of DD whilst I do my make up, I don't think that's too much to ask of your best friend on your wedding day.

I think maybe because we're all quite young, and DD is obviously a relatively new thing she just didn't think it through. The hairdresser should have though, the amount of time I've chased her toddler round with acetone scrubbing shellac off the furniture kept her baby entertained whilst she's been busy with clients!

Or maybe they just don't care. Sob.

quoteunquote Mon 14-Oct-13 23:44:44

DD goes with her dad the night before(good night sleep for you), delivered back to you by someone (best man/and him) so he doesn't have to come in), fed and clean, half an hour before you leave.

Ask hairdresser friend to do bridesmaid s hair one night this week.

or elope.

thegoldenfool Tue 15-Oct-13 08:38:54

have a lovely day - this will hopefully all fade into insignificance


WaitMonkey Tue 15-Oct-13 09:30:00

I read this last night. YANBU. Apart from the fact it's your wedding day, I wouldn't let anyone dye their hair in my bathroom. The mess !

HorryIsUpduffed Tue 15-Oct-13 09:39:58

Could the childminder get DD ready at her house, and either drop her back with you at 11am or you pick her up on the way?

I hope it all works out smoothly for you - sounds like bm is being reasonable now - but I think you should consider using professional help that morning just so it's another job you can tick off your list and be confident is being done properly.

Best wishes for your big day!

Dubjackeen Tue 15-Oct-13 09:42:16

YANBU! Daft idea, in my opinion, anyone even thinking of doing a colour in your home, on the morning of your wedding. Hopefully, they have seen sense, get it done beforehand, elsewhere, get dye on their own towels!
Have a lovely day. flowers

specialsubject Tue 15-Oct-13 10:02:03

ignoring all the other detail, get your fiance to look after the baby. Obvious solution.

and those dyeing their hair bring their own towels!!

Davsmum Tue 15-Oct-13 10:15:09

I can't believe you have a baby who cannot be put down - AT ALL?
How do you manage to do anything when you are on your own with your baby?

kali110 Tue 15-Oct-13 14:12:18

Do none of you dye your own hair? I do my roots highlights n neon streaks without making a mess. Plus the gairdresser should be able to do others hair without getting dye everywhere.

FeckOffCupofBatBlood Tue 15-Oct-13 14:17:13

YANBU, I would be telling the bridesmaid she either gets the cut and colour done the night before or forgets it and only gets it styled/pinned up on the day to save time.

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 15-Oct-13 14:27:19

Yab a bit U reasonable in afraid. Your BM was not reposible for the hairdresser changing schedule and it's not her fault you won't put the baby down. Just send her to the CM as your paying her anyway.

I hope your day goes oh but it sounds like there are higher issues her than dd and your BM. You don't sound to sure about it tbh. thanks

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 15-Oct-13 14:27:40

Bigger issues

Famzilla Tue 15-Oct-13 14:38:44

I put her in the sling obviously. Have you tried to do make up with a 6mo in a sling? They try to grab whatever you're holding because it's much more interesting than staring at your shoulders.

And yes, she screams her head off until she chokes and vomits if I put her down. You may think I'm just being PFB but you've obviously never met a high needs baby if you don't believe me. Lucky you.

No bigger problems other that I'm not one of those girls who has ever wanted a "wedding". I want to be married sure, but I hate all the stress and faffing that comes with weddings. Hence my trying to keep it as low key and easy as possible. It's been a fucking awful year and I just want to marry the love of my life in peace arrrrrrghhhhhh!

I need wine

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 15-Oct-13 14:43:16

How does the childminder deal with it? I'm assuming she must put her down have you asked her what she does?

Famzilla Tue 15-Oct-13 14:49:07

She is in the sling with the childminder or one of the other mindees plays with her. DD interacts really well with the other children there and the CM says they love playing with her, (tbh it has saved my sanity as I was getting incredibly down about how exhausting and relentless she is.)

CM only has 3 mindees at a time and never more that 1 baby in that number.

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 15-Oct-13 15:00:33

Have you got a sling that faces outwards ? Mirrors fascinate babies you could do your make up whale she looks in the mirror.

Is there nothing that will distract her for five mins to do your make up? Bounced chair:door bouncer/ fish tank/ lava lamp/tv/ rusk or baby snack /toy of some kind/keys anything that would buy you a few mins peace.

Famzilla Tue 15-Oct-13 15:30:56

It's going to take a lot longer than 5 minutes to do my make up! (Ex model - like to do things extensively properly).

We have an ergo so not outwards facing, although my friend gave us a stokke one the other day which might. I can't figure it out and no-one else seems to have heard of it confused

Have just asked CM to have her 8-10.30. (She usually has her in the afternoon) Fingers crossed!

pixiepotter Tue 15-Oct-13 16:58:24

The bridesmaid wants to look nice too! you need to sort out some childcare.

Famzilla Tue 15-Oct-13 17:10:27

Pixie the bridesmaid has had the entire week to get her hair done. Also I don't think you've read the entire thread.

Threalamandaclarke Tue 15-Oct-13 17:22:00

So can her hair be done on Thursday night? That makes more sense. I don't think YAbu tbh. I find it difficult to do anything at all with my 8 mo around. I'm sure your friend wants to help you. That's what bridesmaids do. I'm very surprised that anyone would think you are bu.
Also PFB is a ghastly term.
Have a fabulous day on Friday.

Sunnysummer Tue 15-Oct-13 17:34:50

Hope it works out with the CM - I dot think YANBU, though it does sound like she is being clueless more than selfish. Does she have kids herself? Like you I am a fairly young mum, and do notice that lots of my friends don't really understand the extra challenges of being with a baby (and I also cringe when I think back to my own pre-baby days blush). Agree that it makes most sense for her to have her hair done before the day or at minimum first thing, so you are not stressed about your own timing.

Congratulations and have a great day! smile

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