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AIBU to find it irritating my DH doesn't shower everyday.

(115 Posts)
bumpandkind Mon 14-Oct-13 08:39:51

My Dh can happily go three days or more at a time without washing. He admittedly never smells bad ( although his hair gets greasy) and he thinks it is a middle class obsession with cleanliness that he doesn't have to be a part of. I don't find it disgusting but it does wind me up.

IncognitoErgoSum Mon 14-Oct-13 08:59:59

Flossyfloof, it's rather more than 30 years since showers were widespread and almost everyone had bathrooms and indoor toilets well before the 1980s.

ComtesseDeSpair Mon 14-Oct-13 09:01:02

I find it irritating when DP claims he doesn't need to shower as well. I don't want to share my bed with greasy hair and unwashed arse, thanks very much.

On threads like this people always pop up to ask "How do you find the time to shower twice a day?!" and "What a waste of water, all that washing" which I find bemusing as I take less than 5 minutes to shower, including washing and conditioning my hair. It's no more difficult than faffing about with a basin of water and a flannel to have a wash. What on earth do some of you do in the shower or bath that it's a long, arduous task involving hundreds of gallons of water?

IloveJudgeJudy Mon 14-Oct-13 09:02:11

To those who say that people didn't shower every day 30 years ago and people didn't stink, that's not true. Everyone had greasy hair, but they definitely weren't so clean as now or as sweet-smelling. Everyone in this house showers at least once a day. It's only right as there are 5 of us, adult and almost adult, living together.

Fairylea Mon 14-Oct-13 09:02:28


Shower every day here for both of us.

I wouldn't even contemplate having sex with someone who didn't shower every day. Gives me the urghhhhs.

IncognitoErgoSum Mon 14-Oct-13 09:03:08

Good grief, sebsmummy1, hysteria, much? You don't get fleas and lice from only showering twice a week. Especially if you change your clothes every couple of days as well.

Tailtwister Mon 14-Oct-13 09:03:50

Personally I have to shower/bath at least one a day. I couldn't leave the house in the morning without washing.

However, everyone is different and I know quite a few people who don't have a full wash every day. I'm probably just smelly!

pointyfangs Mon 14-Oct-13 09:06:12

I have a problem when DH doesn't shower every day because in him it is a sign that his work-related stress/depression is getting on top of him. I don't worry about it from a hygiene POV, though the greasy hair is unappealing.

Makqueen2 Mon 14-Oct-13 09:06:35

I wish my dh showered every three days. He can go three weeks or more without a bath (he's not depressed, I think it just doesn't occur to him).

I have to shower or bath at least every day or I feel rank.

KirjavaTheCorpse Mon 14-Oct-13 09:07:30

It's actually not very good for your skin or hair, to scrub it 'clean' every day. Especially with the natural oil-stripping qualities of most soaps and shampoos, SLS etc, you're drying yourself out so much that your body overcompensates oil production and you'll feel dirty and greasy quicker.

Burmobasher Mon 14-Oct-13 09:08:20

Yanbu. My dh and I shower every day, I wouldn't leave the house without one. I certainly don't see it as a class issue either.

Flossyfloof Mon 14-Oct-13 09:08:54

OMG how can you be with someone who is not sweet-smelling? I was thinking of showering every day when going about one's business, hadn't thought about shagging someone who wasn't clean. Sleeping with someone who hasn't showered for three days? I repeat - yuk, yuk, yuk.
Oh - and Ergo, I don't think that showers were that widespread but perhaps we were just poor.

BerstieSpotts Mon 14-Oct-13 09:10:57

Mumtosome don't powder your bits!! It's really dangerous I thought?!

I don't shower every day. It bothers DP although I don't smell. (I have asked him)

To people who say it barely takes any time, yes, it might take 2 minutes to shower but then it seems to take forever to get dry and dry your hair! I hate being cold and it's always freezing getting out of a nice warm shower into the house which is cold by comparison no matter how well it's heated.

However I love showering after exercise and getting out doesn't bother me half as much.

I think I'm just a wuss blush

Flossyfloof Mon 14-Oct-13 09:11:36

Do people who don't shower regularly not do their teeth either? Because they don't get plaque? Or because they simply don't need to?

complexnumber Mon 14-Oct-13 09:11:49

But 30 years ago we didn't really have showers and indoor bathrooms were fairly new for many people.

That made me really laugh! I was referring to the 1980's, not the 1890's!

BerstieSpotts Mon 14-Oct-13 09:12:06

Although, DP gets very dry flaky scalp and has very fine hair and plain doesn't believe me that I think this is because he is washing it too much. He thinks there is no such thing.

sebsmummy1 Mon 14-Oct-13 09:14:41

I was just remarking about the 'good old days' when people couldn't wash their clothes or themselves and stank and had fleas and lice. I wasn't suggesting showering every other day in 2013 would cause an infestation lol.

IncognitoErgoSum Mon 14-Oct-13 09:17:02

Flossyfloof, we was poor in the 1980s too. I'd say that there were far fewer fancy shower units but many over-bath showers. I had just become an adult in the early 1980s and when I was looking for cheap accommodation, they all had showers. Apart from the one flat at university with an outside toilet where we installed a shower (with the landlord's agreement) in a spare cupboard.

Flossyfloof Mon 14-Oct-13 09:18:02

Bertie you are right, it is not good to powder your foof.
Get yourself to Home Bargains or Dunelm and get a turbanator, they are fab. By the time you have put your moisturiser on your hair is almost dry and in the meantime you are not dripping all over the shop.
I still don't think everyone had a fitted shower in the 80's. I think we probably got our first one in about 1975, I can't really remember. Before that we had a rubber attachment thing which you put onto the bath taps. When the force of the water made the thing fall off you either got roasted or frozen.

Coupon Mon 14-Oct-13 09:19:06

It used to be that people didn't bath as often, but they'd have a thorough wash on the days in between.

Damnautocorrect Mon 14-Oct-13 09:22:22

My ex was like that, it was disgusting. He did smell as well.

DontmindifIdo Mon 14-Oct-13 09:24:12

See, when I was a lass, there were lots and lots of products for greesy hair. This was an issue that lots of people have. Then some point in the late 80s, it seems like large swaths of the population solved their 'problem hair' by washing it more than once/twice a week and wow, that whole area of hair problem just dissappeared!

I think it's perfectly fine not to shower every day if you do a good strip wash in the sink on the other days, but doing a good strip wash takes longer and generally involves slooshing water all over the place, showers are quicker and contained. Not washing at all for some days is grim. You might not be able to smell yourself, you might be used to your DH's smell, but you won't be clean. It's OK not to be clean if you're a grown up and don't want to be, just don't sit next to me on the train, thanks.

OP - I can see that it would annoy you because it does seem disrespectful. It's like he doesn't care that you would prefer him to be clean, he doesn't care about being sexually attractive to you. It would doubly annoy me if he'd shower and clean himself before going out, so showing he was prepared to make an effort for other people but not you. (DH showers at least once, usually twice a day, but then he does a lot of sport/exercise, I shower daily, sometimes twice as well if I've done exercise, but I do a lot less than DH so that's a rarer thing to happen)

Dawndonnaagain Mon 14-Oct-13 09:25:15

I was born in 1958. During the sixties people would bath once a week, and wash on the days inbetween. Feet face and Fanny was the saying. So, I shower after my run, every other day and inbetween, Feet, Face and Fanny. I do not smell. I wash, on the wash days, twice a day. Mornings, and if I were going out in the evening, I would have a shower, if not, I wash before bed.

Coupon Mon 14-Oct-13 09:27:26

And underarms presumably Dawn

DontmindifIdo Mon 14-Oct-13 09:27:29

Oh and although I shower daily, I don't wash my hair every day (if I've gone to the effort of straightening it, I'm getting 2 days out of that!) - Berstie - could you not just not wash your hair in the shower and just wash the rest of you? It's not that tricky to get in the shower and not put your head under it. I'm very short and I manage to stand in the shower so it hits my body but not my hair, just tie your hair up and have a quick shower for hte rest of you. (surely this is a basic lifeskill right there, how to shower without getting your hair/face wet?)

Nancy66 Mon 14-Oct-13 09:30:52

A message to the people who don't shower every day and claim they don't smell: bet you anything you do, you just can't detect it on yourself.

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