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To refuse to host Xmas dinner for 16 when I will be 40wks pregnant?

(139 Posts)
pinkjumper1 Sun 13-Oct-13 18:45:54

I discovered today that all the in-laws were planning to come to us for Xmas dinner. DH is horrified that I said no. I had invited my dad, sister and her boyfriend (a chef!) as we will need someone to look after DCs if the baby is born that day but I don't think I'll be up to entertaining a huge crowd. Am I just being hormonal or is this not a good idea when I'll either have a newborn or be due to give birth? I do like hosting big Christmas dinners normally. Any other year...

FriskyHenderson Sun 13-Oct-13 20:13:09

I had 3 extras plus me, DH and 3xDC at 39 weeks and did everything with PGP. Despite the crutches and wheelchair and them promising to bring food/help out etc.

I was fuming. And they haven't been invited for Christmas day again unfortunately I'm stuck with DH though

Just say no. Or have lots of twinges.

cupcake78 Sun 13-Oct-13 20:13:15

Goodness me I didn't want to see one person when I was 40 wks. The thought of Christmas and then cooking dinner would have tipped me over the hormonal edge.

Tell your dh to jog on op. What if baby comes Christmas Eve?

Tanbu its a ridiculous idea.

invicta Sun 13-Oct-13 20:13:26

You are not being hormonal. No way will you be able to cater for 6, let alone 16.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sun 13-Oct-13 20:17:29

Yanbu. No way should you agree to this. It is absolutely fine that you want a quiet christmas with your family.

fuckwittery Sun 13-Oct-13 20:29:42

Mental! i'm 38 weeks had essentially a v easy pregnancy but can barely cook fishfingers for my 2 kids as I am so bloody huge its physically difficult to cook. Let alone a full on xmas dinner for 16! I'm knackered and sleeping v little as so uncomfy, cancelled all social engagements apart from things where i can see how I feel on the day.
IF you have the baby anytime in the week before you could still be in hospital, up to 2 weeks on post section or post stitches you still needing lots of bed rest. You could be with newborn, needing to flop your ginormous achy boobs out for hours at a time as newborn cluster feeds and refuses to be put down. You could be bleeding profusely post birth, and v constipated, requiring entirely private use of a bathroom with no hovering guests waiting outside. Even if still preg and feeling good at 40 weeks, you could of course go into labour at any time and ruin 16 people's xmas lunch! Please show your DH this thread and report back!

BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor Sun 13-Oct-13 20:32:37


The OP's dad, sister and boyfriend are invited to look after the other dc if she goes into labour.

fuckwittery Sun 13-Oct-13 20:33:40

Sorry, just re read your OP and realised you have DC already. Had assumed your DH must be a clueless first time Dad. Does he not remember the uncertainty of when babies arrive, and seeing you heavily preg/with newborn previously?!

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sun 13-Oct-13 20:33:52

YANBU! YANBU AT ALL. Good god, are they all on glue?!

BlingBang Sun 13-Oct-13 20:35:16

i knew a lady whose husband invited his family round for a 3 course dinner the day after she came out of hospital after giving birth. She was expected to do the cooking, hosting and washing up. She did. Luckily she came to her senses and divorced him some years later.

OP - tell your husband he is totally in charge this year while you will be resting. Think he might change his mind.

froubylou Sun 13-Oct-13 20:49:34

I will be 40 weeks on 20th December. Tell them all to fuck right off. Unless they are coming as a work party to cook, clean and pander to your every need. And realise you will be receiving visitors by appointment only from your boudoir.

Get yourself a little bell for the day for the side of your bed.

nennypops Sun 13-Oct-13 21:02:49

OP, I assume you've discussed this further with dh by now. What on earth is his justification for being "horrified"?

cees Sun 13-Oct-13 21:05:31

Your dh is being a knob and the inlaws should know better.


mameulah Sun 13-Oct-13 21:06:33

YADNBU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If your dh wants to prepare everything and cook so that his family can come along then I suppose he could.

pianodoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 21:14:22

My due date is Christmas Day as well.

I can't believe what's being expected of you!

We've managed to find a couple willing to be on "stand by" to come and stay with DD (2) but I don't think 16 people would be necessary!

16 guests at Christmas would be unnecessary to me though even if I wasn't due to give birth grin

pianodoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 21:17:31

* Even if still preg and feeling good at 40 weeks, you could of course go into labour at any time and ruin 16 people's xmas lunch!*

If it got as far as the 16 people actually coming over for xmas I'd make it my business to ruin their lunch!

dyslexicdespot Sun 13-Oct-13 21:17:41

Please tell us that you are joking, and if you are not- leave your ungrateful ass of a husband and move in with me and my family!

We will take care of you and your children and never ask you to host anything whilst pregnant!

Wibblypiglikesbananas Sun 13-Oct-13 21:22:32

Absolutely agree with Fuckwittery - I'm 37 weeks PG currently and don't do anything I can avoid right now!

Can't believe your DH would even suggest such a thing, and also can't believe that ILs think it's a good plan either. Idiots, the lot of them!

Xmasbaby11 Sun 13-Oct-13 21:23:06

I was due on Xmas day 2 years ago, although DD was 2 weeks late. It was a big deal to even invite my parents over to stay, and they did pretty much everything. I was exhausted, grumpy, and antisocial, and 16 people would have been my idea of hell, even if I didn't have to lift a finger. Are your family in denial that you are pregnant? It's an insane idea and I feel really sorry for you.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Sun 13-Oct-13 21:26:11

Please show your DH this thread OP! #commonsense #themumsnethavespoken

pianodoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 21:27:14

dyslexicdespot can I come too?! Our who-to-call-first list for babysitting if I go into labour is a bit sparse! I can amend it to:



Stranger from the internet

The dog

Satan himself


thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Sun 13-Oct-13 21:28:16

Oh and congratulations smile thanks

elfycat Sun 13-Oct-13 21:29:18


Get the 3 most sensible people to bring you Gold and some smelly stuff for the house (LOTS OF GOLD THOUGH). Frankincense is good with orange essence for a Christmassy smell.

Get the kids dressed up as angels.

Put tea towels on various people's heads and send them to the kitchen to do the work. They are not allowed to serve lamb unless the meal has full trimmings and a turkey with full trimmings.

Make the angels go and sing non-stop in the kitchen.

Wear a blue dressing gown and sit serenely. I've never seen a nativity where the mother is doing anything else.

Did I mention that they need to bring you gold? Your DH really needs to pay attention to that bit. Put a teatowel on his head too.


FTRscreamingInTerror Sun 13-Oct-13 21:30:36

When I was pg with DS I was 41+2 on Christmas Day.
I got myself dressed.
I considered this an achievement
YADNBU tell them all to feck off wink

BriocheBriocheBrioche Sun 13-Oct-13 21:30:42

Last Christmas day, at 39+6 I went into labour! YADNBU!

dyslexicdespot Sun 13-Oct-13 21:32:51

Yes piano- you are welcome to come as well. Lets spend New Year's Eve sticking pins into a voodoo doll that looks like the OP's husband! What a poopstain!

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