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To refuse to host Xmas dinner for 16 when I will be 40wks pregnant?

(139 Posts)
pinkjumper1 Sun 13-Oct-13 18:45:54

I discovered today that all the in-laws were planning to come to us for Xmas dinner. DH is horrified that I said no. I had invited my dad, sister and her boyfriend (a chef!) as we will need someone to look after DCs if the baby is born that day but I don't think I'll be up to entertaining a huge crowd. Am I just being hormonal or is this not a good idea when I'll either have a newborn or be due to give birth? I do like hosting big Christmas dinners normally. Any other year...

MissStrawberry Sun 13-Oct-13 19:09:02

"hope the cluelessness isn't hereditary!"

Must be as the in-laws seem unaware this is a terrible idea!

trixymalixy Sun 13-Oct-13 19:10:15


I once ended up having 21 for Christmad dinner when I was 36 weeks pregnant. It was my aunt's last Xmas as she had terminal cancer and I had the only house that could host everyone.

I however didn't lift a finger, everyone brought the food and my mum cane and cleaned beforehand, and everyone cleaned up afterwards.

Could that be an option?

LittleMissWise Sun 13-Oct-13 19:10:56


I have given birth twice in December. One of them was Christmas Eve, I didn't anyone in the house apart from DH, DS1, me and newborn DS2.

lifeissweet Sun 13-Oct-13 19:13:34

Does he realise that you are classed as 'full term' from 37 weeks? I haven't made it to 40 weeks with any of my 3. This is madness.

As someone very rightly said above - you will either be about to give birth, in the process of giving birth or have a brand new baby (maybe even still in hospital). To plan anything whatsoever for that time in a pregnancy is lunacy. YANBRemotelyU

marriedinwhiteisback Sun 13-Oct-13 19:15:38

Um, once upon a time I was due to have a baby on 18th January. That Christmas we said we would be spending out last Christmas as a couple on our own. We were actually invited to have Christmas lunch with friends. Christmas Eve was a very uncomfy day and DS arrived at 2.47am on Xmas morning. Funnily enough we had to cancel lunch at the last minute. grin.


BoffinMum Sun 13-Oct-13 19:15:57

He's lost the plot completely - when I was in this position we only had us and DD at home - anyone who visited only came for a cuppa.

BoffinMum Sun 13-Oct-13 19:17:13

Your inlaws are equally bonkers for expecting to come over!

LittleMissWise Sun 13-Oct-13 19:18:54

DS2 was due 12th January but arrived on 24th December, 20 minutes after the first contraction!

MetellaEstMater Sun 13-Oct-13 19:19:11

I've got a similar number here on Christmas Day and will be 39 weeks (or I guess have a newborn, or be out birth). If home I plan to sit on a sofa with my feet up, let my mum and DH cook, others entertain my two year old and generally cater to my every whim. Can't wait!

BUT had I not wanted this, DH would have planned a quiet day with fewer people, so I think your choice entirely especially under the circumstances! Good luck OP ??

PoppyFleur Sun 13-Oct-13 19:21:22

Men....they really are so special at times.

Unless your in laws have previous form as being wonderfully helpful guests who muck in & help then I would say YANBU.

thistlelicker Sun 13-Oct-13 19:28:34

Never mind dh being a knob but why haven't the in laws said no!!!! Why is it ok I invite your family but not his?

leobear Sun 13-Oct-13 19:29:22

I can trump this. I was forced to have the in-laws on Christmas Day when my newborn was 4 DAYS OLD! and I had a toddler!

Amy106 Sun 13-Oct-13 19:34:38

If you are still pregnant, you will need to be resting.
If you have had your little one, you will need to be recovering.
Either way, you should NOT be cooking Christmas dinner for 16.
You are not unreasonable but the rest of them have lost the plot.

babybarrister Sun 13-Oct-13 19:34:44

Guess it depends how helpful the in-laws are and what their Expectations might be ....

Might be useful if no-one expects anything of you or your DH but comes ready to help out and look after dc

MatryoshkaDoll Sun 13-Oct-13 19:38:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface Sun 13-Oct-13 19:40:20

Has it not occurred to any of them that if they plan to come to you and then you do go into labour they will be stuck at home with no food for the day?

LittleBearPad Sun 13-Oct-13 19:44:07

Well they can come but they get to cook. You don't do anything and (chef) boyfriend is in charge of delegating tasks. You get to eat chocolates and do whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like it.

Alternatively you've had baby and they all get to bugger off elsewhere whilst DH cooks. You get to eat chocolates and do whatever you feel, whenever you feel subject to newborn's demands

Pompomfairy Sun 13-Oct-13 19:44:12

Surely no one would actually ask you to do this at 40 wks?

There's now way my family or my in laws would have expected me to do that when I was about to drop.

Catsize Sun 13-Oct-13 19:48:41

How selfish and, frankly odd, that any of them think this is a good idea. Quite like what sara said, but this still gives him the option of hosting. And you shouldn't be hosting!

Amibambini Sun 13-Oct-13 19:48:45

Whoa, I can't believe anyone in your family is even entertaining the thought! I'm due Jan 5th. We were supposed to host thus year as it was our turn, but the whole family has collectively told us I'm not doing anything this year except accepting more Christmas pudding on the couch. Sorry, don't mean to sound smug there but that's exactly what your extended family should be saying too!

phantomnamechanger Sun 13-Oct-13 19:54:27

YANBU and what on earth are they all thinking of! totally BU to expect you to be doing ANYTHING for anyone else

whattodoo Sun 13-Oct-13 20:01:00

I'd be asking him how he plans to fit everyone in next to your birthing pool (cos you've decided you quite fancy a home birth).

Squitten Sun 13-Oct-13 20:04:58

Good grief no YANBU!

TBH I wouldn't be having any guests whatsoever - you may already have given birth, might be in hospital still. I wouldn't want anyone depending on me to host at such an unknown time!

colleysmill Sun 13-Oct-13 20:09:09

I'll be 30 weeks at crimbo and having 6 adults and 2dc round and I've been asked countless times if ill be ok doing that!

My super organised mum had 16 for Christmas day once - note the once. She never did it again

zatyaballerina Sun 13-Oct-13 20:12:16

God no, who on earth thinks it's acceptable to inflict themselves on people like that??shock

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