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to think this is very disruptive??

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macdoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 15:52:21

I probably am being unreasonable and am prepared to hear it.
My DD1 has just started secondary school, she is in the "more able class" (this is what its called by the school hmm).
In this class, of about 20 odd, there is a boy with SN. He has an assistant for every lesson, and from what my DD tells me I guess he must have some form of autism.
But every single day, she is coming home with stories of what "X" has done. Thinks like having tantrum, which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc.
Now the kids all seem to think this is hysterical (and great fun that almost every lesson is disrupted by "X"), but every day I am a bit hmm, it just sounds very disruptive, and DD is starting to sound more annoyed than thinking its funny.
She does however say that is is clearly very bright indeed.
I know he has just as much right to be taught, but at the cost of disrupting a whole class of children? AIBU?? I can't quite decide TBH, and so far it doesnt appear to be affecting DD1's abilities, but we are only a term in.

outtolunchagain Sun 13-Oct-13 16:13:00

The thing is the boy is clearly very stressed by the environment so it's not working for him either .

OP you are not being unreasonable but if he is needing that much intervention on a day to day basis then I should think the arrangement will already be under review and will hopefully be resolved

coldwinter Sun 13-Oct-13 16:13:22

I do have experience of autism. Please do not assume.

AlexaChelsea Sun 13-Oct-13 16:13:31

Yep, I manage to get through my life pretty well, by learning to adapt to 'disruption'. It's not that hard, really.

Strumpetron Sun 13-Oct-13 16:13:51

AlexaChelsea since you know so much, how would you go about sorting this out?

Floggingmolly Sun 13-Oct-13 16:14:30

Agree, Celia

Bowlersarm Sun 13-Oct-13 16:14:32

Alexa whilst I sympathise with you, I don't think the OP is unreasonable to worry about her own daughter.

CrohnicallyLurking Sun 13-Oct-13 16:14:38

Oh- and I wouldn't expect a student whether or not they have SN to 'get away' with hitting a teacher. I assume that things are going on 'behind the scenes' so to speak, that your DD is not privy to, and the boy will be getting more appropriate support to enable him to settle.

At our school, we have a 5 year old pupil with autism, and when he hit a teacher it was dealt with in a way that he could understand, not necessarily the way that other pupils would be dealt with, and it was used as evidence to get him more support.

macdoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 16:14:41

Sauvignon, I am sorry for your lad, and believe me I do not talk to my DD1, about it like this. I feel very sorry for the lad, he sounds very unsettled, and quite isolated. I am a doctor, and well aware of autism/ADHD issues, and these are what I tell my DD1, trying to explain why he is like this and to just try and ignore it. That doesnt stop me being concerned about the affect on her, am a parent surely that is allowed.

JumpingJackSprat Sun 13-Oct-13 16:14:45

is it just me or is there a glut of these nasty posts recently where rather than teaching their precious children to be inclusive and tolerant, the parents ie posters, see the SN children as a problem?

how do you know your daughter is giving you the full story?

AlexaChelsea Sun 13-Oct-13 16:15:41

Sorting what out?

Th child probably needs more time to settle into a new environment.

That's my very basic guess, based on little knowledge (even the op doesn't know if he has SN) and the fact I haven't met him, or know anything about him.

whois Sun 13-Oct-13 16:16:40

That's a shit situation. Inclusion can fail quite spectacularly.

Also, I don't know anyone (except on MN) who would think it was acceptable to have 29 children's learning disrupted by one child. It's shit for them, and it's shit for the child with SEN.

coldwinter Sun 13-Oct-13 16:16:42

I would be complaining at work if I was trying to do something complicated that required concentration, and a colleague was hitting another colleague or having a tantrum. And this kind of thing was happening every day. We are not talking about someone talking, shouting out or laughing. There is a level of disruption it is reasonable to get used to. This is not it.

This boy needs a good education that meets his high intelligence. But the other children matter too. Some of you are simply saying they don't matter and should just get used to this high level of disruption and less teaching time, on a daily basis.

macdoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 16:16:48

I certainly hope that there are things going on behind scenes, because its quite hard to explain to a 12yr old why some things are completely unacceptable for her, but to her appear are ok for others.
I was not advocating moving him, but am concerned.

Strumpetron Sun 13-Oct-13 16:17:05

How long is more time Alexa?

The boy obviously needs more help, so he and the class can learn. I don't think people should just have to merely 'adapt' and be expected to 'get along with it' in a situation that isn't nice for anyone.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 13-Oct-13 16:17:15

OP, YANBU. I am with Coldwinter on this.

Clearly the boy in question in not coping well and needs a more suitable and more appropriate environment. From what OP said, the poor kid is completely stressed out and it is upsetting the entire class in some way or other. The situation is not fair on anyone, let alone child who was additional needs.

LazyGaga Sun 13-Oct-13 16:17:49


Agree with CeliaFate.

AlexaChelsea Sun 13-Oct-13 16:17:51

If your child's education is really likely to suffer because of a bit of disruption, then you could try alternative education - extra tuition, parent homework, even home schooling. Or move her to a different school.

macdoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 16:18:45

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Strumpetron Sun 13-Oct-13 16:19:10

I wouldn't call a teacher and a pupil being assaulted a 'bit of disruption'.

AlexaChelsea Sun 13-Oct-13 16:19:17

So, coldwinter' if you worked with someone with SN who hbehaved in the way you described, you'd complain about them?

Bloody. Hell.

5madthings Sun 13-Oct-13 16:19:36

Its very early in the term, all the children are still settling in. Hopefully this boy will get the support he needs to handle the transition to high school.

We cannot and must not exclude children or adults with special needs because those needs make life more difficult. As a society we need to be aware, to have some empathy and yes make allowances even if it does mean putting ourselves out.

Penny13 Sun 13-Oct-13 16:19:54

I can see both sides but I wouldn't know what to do. If the poor lad is being disruptive then surely whatever strategy the school is trying to put in place isn't working. I would talk to the teacher OP because as you have mentioned there could be years of this to come. Yr 7 not that bad but what happens when it is still happening when GCSE's are around the corner?

AlexaChelsea Sun 13-Oct-13 16:20:34

Her potential isn't going to be sacrificed because of a few weeks in year 7.

Imagine it was your DD that had SN. Please.

macdoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 16:20:43

Alexa, luckily my DD1 is extremely able and I give a lot of support and encouragement at home, are you saying all the other children should get extra support or move because of 1 child ?? Really, thats a solution.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 13-Oct-13 16:21:04

Ah - teach them young to not tolerate people who are different that's an excellent lesson hmm

After half term things may be changed with regard to this boys level of inclusion as he sounds very stressed. Or he might be able to cope better with it.

All children have needs of course and it's not that his are more important than the others - he just has more needs.

Some posters here seem quite strikingly unpleasant.

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