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Help! DD aged 8 is asking about father christmas

(71 Posts)
Canthaveitall Fri 11-Oct-13 20:14:37

I am on here for traffic.

DD aged 8 has just landed the 'is father christmas real' question on me. A boy at school told her he is not. She is sobbing and has asked me for a straight answer. Just putting DS to bed - what do I say? The truth or some twist to make the magic last. Feel very sad she no longer believes. Yes I know that's a bit silly.

twinkletoedelephant Mon 14-Oct-13 16:05:31

Dd is 7 she asked I said it was very simple if you believe you hang a stocking and get some presents if your lucky if you don't believe you don't get presents and have to help mummy do all the cooking on Xmas day smile

She said she will believe untill she is 47 ;)

paperlantern Mon 14-Oct-13 14:33:47

ps in this house hold we also "believe" in goblins and dragonsgrin grin

it amuses us

paperlantern Mon 14-Oct-13 14:18:49

it much the same as the explanation you give a child about a magic trick

the magician says look I'm going to pull the rabbit from the hat

you say "look the man just pulled a rabbit out of a hat"

the child says "how?"

you say "Magic"wink

it's a miserable sod that actually explains the trick to a child, ruining for anyone in ear shot.

the essence of magic is that the magician lies to us, we know magic doesn't exist. but we don't care because knowing would ruin our enjoyment of the trick

KellyElly Mon 14-Oct-13 14:14:02

Is Santa not real??? <leaves the thread sobbing>

paperlantern Mon 14-Oct-13 14:03:44

pixie - you are very wrong. santa does exist to those who believe.

and if you look at the explanation I would give to a child I never lie once.

GalaxyDefender Mon 14-Oct-13 11:25:22

Aww, your poor DD. At least she seems to be okay with the explanation you've given her and hopefully won't spread it to other children. It's such a shame when the magic is gone, but as others have said you can keep it alive in different ways that don't need belief, as such.

I was six when I found out Santa didn't exist - being a nosy bugger, I went snooping for Christmas presents in mid-December, and found a stash in my mum's wardrobe. My world came crashing down when, come Christmas morning, my brother had one of those presents in his stocking. sad

Whereisegg Mon 14-Oct-13 10:48:42

Ds(6) told me earlier this year - "I don't believe in God or Santa. I'm too much of a scientist" grin

NewBlueShoesToo Mon 14-Oct-13 10:33:28

You could always make sure that FC delivers presents that the children think you find unsuitable. That keeps them guessing. For example, I don't allow bubble gum and FC always delivers it, also computer games, a new hat when you've just bought one.

Scholes34 Mon 14-Oct-13 10:29:18

Father Christmas exists as a concept. It's part of what makes members of the Scholes household produce nice surprises for each other over the Christmas period. With DCs aged 16, 15, 13 and 48, we still leave mince pies and sherry for Father Christmas, because he deserves it for helping to bring the magic of Christmas to our house.

pixiepotter Mon 14-Oct-13 08:20:47

why on earth would you tell kids he's not real?

because he isn't.Trust is crucial to a relationship, and many parent very rightly, are uncomfortable with telling their children barefaced lies, when questioned directly.

paperlantern Sun 13-Oct-13 09:06:34

why on earth would you tell kids he's not real? he's real to meconfused

father Christmas is a little bit of magic. everyone enjoys a little bit of magic. does it really matter how the magic happens?

superstarheartbreaker Sun 13-Oct-13 08:15:13

I think father Christmas is lovely for children. 8 is about rigjt to fibd the truth but all the cat bum mouths about lying to kids is kill joy in extreme imo.
There are too many harsh realities ib this world. Kids need a bit of magic. There is no excitment like waiting for santa on xmas eve!

dubstarr73 Sun 13-Oct-13 01:48:03

My ds about the same age as your lo said this to me a few years back.Now it does depend on your kids,i tried tha
t what do you think and i got the eyebrow raised at me.So i said if i tell you the truth you wont blab to other kids.He said no he wouldnt.So i told the truth and do you know what he never once opened his mouth to anyone..including his older brother i kid you not
Now if ere is any way they still believe i wouldt but my son said phew thats grand now i know what you were doing in Smyths a few weeks back.Dont underestimate them would be my view

Scholes34 Sat 12-Oct-13 22:46:08


Tw1nkle Sat 12-Oct-13 21:19:17

I have a plan for when my DD asks.

I'm going to tell her about how 'Santa' came about.....about St Nicholas......and explain it that way, about the history behind it and why it's nice to carry on the tradition.....

foreverondiet Sat 12-Oct-13 21:12:35

Tell her of course. I don't believe in lying to my DC. DS1 didn't lose first tooth until 7.5 and already by that point he knew no tooth fairy. She asked you directly so tell her the truth.

Topseyt Sat 12-Oct-13 19:54:04

Mine had well and truly sussed it by that age, but we all still like to pretend anyway.

SatinSandals Sat 12-Oct-13 19:45:41

I would be a bit worried if they hadn't questioned it by then.

SatinSandals Sat 12-Oct-13 19:44:52

When mine asked me,around the age of 8yrs, I just told them. They had really figured it before that with questions about chimneys etc. I explained they had to keep it secret for younger children to have fun and that I was a firm believer in Father Christmas, which I am. It didn't stop the stockings.

pixiepotter Sat 12-Oct-13 19:41:25

when they are starting to ask questions , then you have to tell the truth, otherwise you are crossing the boundary between playing along with a fantasy and lying.
I am utterly gobsmacked at kids believing at 8 yrs old let alone 11 and 12.

moominleigh94 Sat 12-Oct-13 19:32:03

I didn't figure it out until I was 11 blush kids at primary school told me from the age of 8, but I didn't even tell my parents about it - just decided that their parents felt sorry for them and bought them presents because Santa wouldn't if they didn't believe in him grin my sister's 12 and I think she knows, but none of us have told our parents - I'm 19, brother is 14 and sister is 12 -, we just keep it going even though we know what's what.

I think my mum's excited though - I think she thought her Santa days were over for five+ years now that my sister's past it, but next year she'll have a grandchild to get excited about Santa with grin

Let them carry on believing it for as long as they like. Two of my friends in secondary school were very sanctimonious about the fact that their parents had never lied to them - one because they were very very religious and didn't give many gifts at Christmas anyway, and the other because "I don't agree with lying to my daughter". They were both miserable as sin at Christmastime, whereas I'm still full of Christmas spirit each year (I was wearing a Christmas t-shirt the other day blush ) maybe hormones are giving me a little too much Christmas spirit this year?

valiumredhead Sat 12-Oct-13 19:07:06

FC it's a lovely story, nothing more. I don't understand all the angst surrounding keeping him alive confused

OP sounds like you did completely the right thingsmile

flaquark Sat 12-Oct-13 10:56:18

We never had Father Christmas but were threatened upon pain of death not to tell anyone that he didnt exist. I imagine we will do the same with future DCs.

firesidechat Sat 12-Oct-13 10:51:38

I think that I may be in the minority here, but we never "did" Father Christmas. We didn't say that he existed and we didn't specifically say that he didn't. However when asked by our children we did tell them the truth.

I don't think that they missed out and now that they are adults we have talked about it. They say that they did wonder if he was real for a few years, so they had a bit of the magic without us having to tell them one way or another.

It will be interesting to see what they do with their own children.

MrsDavidBowie Sat 12-Oct-13 10:29:40

ds sussed it when he was 7.
I had to bribe him not to tell his big sister who was 9.

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