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To want to punch my MIL in her interfering face?

(140 Posts)
crimsonwitch Thu 10-Oct-13 01:22:59

I have never quite seen eye to eye with the MIL, but tolerate her passive aggressive superiority because my DC love her and her them. My DP asked her to babysit Ds2 (5 months) for a few hours today while DD (10) and Ds1 (5) were at school, so we could go out for lunch together. It was the first time we have been out alone since he was born, and I was very grateful to MIL for agreeing to have him. Ds2 is ebf and has never had formula, so I expressed enough milk for her to feed him while we were gone. After a lovely lunch with Dp we went to MIL to pick up Ds and he was fast asleep (he should have been hungry by this point). MIL looking very pleased with herself said "The milk you brought looked funny so I threw it out, but Its ok, I brought some formula from asda the other day just incase, and look at the good its done him!" hmm MIL has been anti breastfeeding from the start always dropping totally unreasonable helpful hints on how ff would help Ds sleep better and would give me a break, ff is more socially acceptable, Dp won't bond properly, he is too big to still be breastfeeding hmm etc etc etc.... DP is very supportive of breastfeeding, but he and his whole family won't stand up to his mother no matter how wrong she is. Poor Ds has been sick a few times and is very uncomfortable now. I am in no way against ff by the way, just the way my MIL likes to control things all the fucking time with my dc. I could write a whole novel on her behaviour over the years. angry

crimsonwitch Fri 11-Oct-13 03:01:26

Dp did actually amaze me. He has always been on my side in theory but would never say anything to he, preferring to diffuse the situation and make excuses for her. When we went round I told her how upset I was and she started ranting about how much she has done for me nothing and what a bad mother I am, and how im unfit (due to my mh problems which is her favourite weapon of choice). Dp cuts her off and said how dare she criticise me when she is such a terrible mother!! And I am better than her in every way. My face was like this..shock No one has EVER spoke to her this way.

SlangKing Fri 11-Oct-13 04:53:54

This is good news. When I wrote my first post way up the thread I wasn't sure which way your DH would go but he needed to commit and he has,,, so well done to the pair of you. I'm now wondering if your actions will positively affect the other in-laws,, whether MILs efforts to ostracise you will instead lead to mutiny in the rank and file. Wishful thinking perhaps, but ya never can tell.

crimsonwitch Fri 11-Oct-13 08:19:01

Thanx but tbh I dont care about the rest of the family now. Bunch of arse sucking tosspots the lot of them. I didn't want to feel left out, but on reflection, being out of that dysfunctional mess can only be a good thing.

cornflakegirl Fri 11-Oct-13 11:57:17

I'm so pleased that DH stood up for you and that you've started to see the relationship with your MIL for what it really is.

It might be worth starting a thread in Relationships to get some advice on how to move forwards - I'm sure it won't be a smooth ride for your or DH. Lots of posters there seem to give really good advice on dealing with toxic parents / in laws.

HalleLouja Fri 11-Oct-13 12:24:17

Well done your DH. I would be livid if anyone did something completely against my wishes to my children.

Donkeyok Fri 11-Oct-13 19:16:05

Well done Crimsonwitch I can see you flying smile

bubalou Sat 12-Oct-13 08:49:42

Well done crimson. I'm glad that it has been said.

I have similar mother in law problems and I literally cannot stand the woman but no one stands up to her, DH used to think it was me but I have stood back and over the past year events have added up and he has learnt on his own who is the really bitch!

My mil likes to give my son things she knows I won't like and then smile at me when she tells me. Grrrr - you keep standing up for yourself. You were in the right and hopefully she will bloody learn her lesson.

Hope baby is ok now wink x

sofurcough Thu 17-Oct-13 14:42:42

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TheFabulousIdiot Thu 17-Oct-13 15:08:41

And the Daily Mail Katy - don't forget the Daily Mail!

EldritchCleavage Thu 17-Oct-13 15:12:45

Are you going to post that exact post on every MIL thread, sofur/*Katy*? Because that will keep you busy.

Thesouthernwindisblowing Thu 17-Oct-13 15:12:49

I thought you were ott in your title but on reading your first post Yanbu. I would have gone apeshit.

TheFabulousIdiot Thu 17-Oct-13 15:20:00

I wonder if Katy's book about MILs contains the advice 'punch her in the face'?

EldritchCleavage Thu 17-Oct-13 15:30:52

It is potentially seriously deficient if not, Fabulous.

MintyChops Thu 17-Oct-13 16:07:16

Well done on dealing with her. Stand by for her having some sort of health crisis brought on by your "unreasonable" "attack" on her. Heart attack/fainting fit perhaps? This seems to be the next step for these toxic relatives....

BananasInNegligees Thu 17-Oct-13 16:18:31

Well done OP.
She sounds like a nightmare. Hope your LO is better after the poo smile

I had similar with my own MIL.
DH actually distanced himself years ago but I kept up the visits and the calls because I thought the kids should know her.
I got the same attitude towards BF too.

Anyhow, we have had no contact in over a year and it feels like a weight off.
I realised nothing could change her toxic ways and my own family unit didn't need that kind of negativity.

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