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To want us to think before we post?

(32 Posts)
roundtable Mon 07-Oct-13 15:14:01

Just that really. Not a thread about a thread but a thread about thread content.

I'm not particularly a delicate wallflower but it does get tiresome reading posts on threads where posters seem to be taking their issues out on the op. Especially when the op has admitted they're being unreasonable and yet the pile in continues, or gets transferred onto someone else.

I know some op's are difficult to engage with but it seems certain posters are unable to discuss things in a reasoned way without getting incredibly defensive and/or rude. I've probably done it myself but I am really making an effort to think about what I write and have deleted posts before I've added them to a post as I've realised what I've said is too heavy handed.

I suspect I'm being unreasonable and shall have my arse handed to me on a plate. grin

lisad123everybodydancenow Mon 07-Oct-13 17:59:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

roundtable Mon 07-Oct-13 17:35:20

Lisad - now that would be hypocritical. wink

Yes, Scarifying - I agree with your disagreeing. Or something. grin

roundtable Mon 07-Oct-13 17:31:54

Well hopefully those people who aren't self aware will be told by others that their words are unnecessarily harsh and they might gradually start to think maybe it's not everybody else.

It makes me raise an eyebrow when I see posters jump on others with 'how dare you say that' about a questionable op and then you see them on another thread gleefully laying into that op for the most innocuous thing.

Scarifying Mon 07-Oct-13 17:19:15

I regularly disagree with OPs but I like to think I try and disagree nicely. Even if I vehemently disagree I think it's best to reply helpfully rather than just attack the OP. If the OP is faced with a barrage of criticism they will just turn off and stop listening I have teenagers, can you tell

I just find it awful when someone is clearly upset and vulnerable that some posters think it's ok to attack them again and again and again.

lisad123everybodydancenow Mon 07-Oct-13 16:44:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TEErickOrTEEreat Mon 07-Oct-13 16:37:18

You're assuming everyone is self aware enough to reflect. Not everyone is. Some people don't ever think, they just react.

roundtable Mon 07-Oct-13 16:15:21

There's an in-between though I think. No need for the 'it's your choice Hun' etc but equally easy to say that you think someone is wrong and this is why without being rude, aggressive or sarcastic.

I'm not dictating how threads should go, I'm just asking for people to reflect.

shebird Mon 07-Oct-13 16:09:59

Some probably should take a deep breath OP rather than offloading their bad day on some poor sod seeking advice. As for facetwit than thinking before you post is a MUST!

BuzzardBirdBloodBath Mon 07-Oct-13 16:08:47

What MrsTP said <not a sheep>

TEErickOrTEEreat Mon 07-Oct-13 16:08:14

That would be funny, Nick. Do it! Do it!

Perhaps dogmatic and harsh opinions where what was required on that thread. Not everyone deserves sweetness and light and 'it's up to you hon, it's your bubba'.

For that, go to NetHuns.

Scarifying I do that. Or read down Active, hitting hide and saying to myself "YABU, yes, no, LTB, YANBU, no, yes, yes, yes, she's a bitch."

It's fun. grin

DidoTheDodo Mon 07-Oct-13 16:05:56

I think you should choose the purple one, feed the guinea pigs and LTB.
Oops, may not have read the whole thread correctly.

NicholasTeakozy Mon 07-Oct-13 16:03:17

Tee, I'm going to post "what Tee said" on a thread you haven't posted on. grin Maybe.

Scarifying Mon 07-Oct-13 15:58:28

I do often answer IABU's in my head just by reading the first few words in the heading. Let's be honest if an IABU heading starts with 'Is my MIL... we already know that the answer is yes she bloody is! what a controlling and manipulative caah she it etc etc grin

Scarifying Mon 07-Oct-13 15:54:34


What's so hard about reading the thread? I also find a lot of posters are mean. You can disagree with people but I don't understand why some posters are so unpleasant about it.

Btw I think I know what thread inspired you to write this sad. Someone asked for support but got dogmatic and harsh opinions... again and again and again.

roundtable Mon 07-Oct-13 15:40:41

No, not a prefect! I did spend some of my time on report and being randomly spot checked at school to make sure I was there. I must have secretly been yearning... grin

I shall now go and arrange some flowers in a swotty way to decorate my plate for my arse or should I go and practise my 'I tell it how it is' pose? grin

Mollydoggerson Mon 07-Oct-13 15:34:28

We should all suspend judgment until we know all the facts, then consider those facts, then give our opinions.

But wait! we will never have all the info we need to make a reasoned, sensible judgement so it's all a load of bollox really. Except for the fun, jokey stuff and Downton Abbey critiqueing.

TEErickOrTEEreat Mon 07-Oct-13 15:34:03

See, now, that's how everyone should answer all threads.

"What Tee said."

usualsuspect Mon 07-Oct-13 15:32:03

What Tee said.

I didn't have to think much about that reply.

YouTheCat Mon 07-Oct-13 15:31:32

I think we should all answer on threads in AIBU by only taking the first three words of the OP into consideration.

It would make for interesting reading. grin

TEErickOrTEEreat Mon 07-Oct-13 15:31:05

Personally, I want us to stop dictating how others should act on threads.

Then no one would have to hand anyone their ass on anything.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 07-Oct-13 15:28:24


Were you, by chance, a prefect at school grin

roundtable Mon 07-Oct-13 15:24:37

Oh yes MrsTP - and I'm not talking about your arse!

Now then Trills, you're just being Captain Sassypants now... grin

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 07-Oct-13 15:23:48


I agree that a lot would be solved by people reading the whole thread and not being so arrogant as to think they can just respond to the OP's first post when the conversation has moved on.

I think some people need to read between the lines as well

Binkyridesagain Mon 07-Oct-13 15:22:32

Same here trills, most of the time if I wrote what I was thinking I would have been banned months ago.

Trills Mon 07-Oct-13 15:21:38

I also like to answer AIBUs by only answering the title grin

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