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to tell my ttc friend that i am pregnant?

(30 Posts)
ch1a Mon 07-Oct-13 09:48:17

My friend has a dd aged 2 and just started to TTC next DC. I have a ds aged 2.5. This is her second month TTC and on Friday she told me she wasn't pregnant this month. I noticed my breasts felt sore on Friday , did a test and am pregnant. I would say around 6 weeks ( long irregular cycle). She asked me previously if I was going to try for another DC soon and I said I wasnt ready yet. Its not a bad time though and we weren't too careful because we wouldn't mind.

She would have told me as soon as she fell pregnant I am sure. We are pretty close and I value her so much. I am excited and would love to share the news but I don't want to be an insensitive twat given the circumstances.

We go to the pub around once a month with another friend to natter and get drunk and have a good catch up. Other than this friend we have no other friends in common. We are due to go this week due to me cancelling our last meet up due to being unwell.

We meet up a few times a week with our kids at present - I am very nauseous and it might start to become obvious.

Should I tell her now? Or wait til 12 weeks? Or wait and hope she falls pregnant this month then tell her? I don't want to be insensitive but I know that its going to be hard to hide soon..

fluffyraggies Mon 07-Oct-13 10:47:05

emma - flowers

I've said before on MN somewhere that i've been fortunate/un-fortunate enough to have been in both the 'popping kids out without a 2nd thought to infertility' (in my 20s wink ) and, more recently, in the 'struggling badly with MC and ttc' group.

3 years ago i probably would have agreed with your post or not even thought much about it. It's hard to put yourself in everyone's shoes. I know. That was a lovely apology smile

Tiredemma Mon 07-Oct-13 10:48:58


I seem to have something in my eyes that causes them to 'water'........

fluffyraggies Mon 07-Oct-13 10:50:42

<passes hanky>

<wobbly lip>


jammiedonut Mon 07-Oct-13 10:56:22

Tell her. As someone who was the one ttc conceive I was understandably upset and a little jealous when my bf told me she was pregnant. She wanted til 20 week scan to tell me as she felt bad for me. I felt awful that she thought she couldn't share something so joyous with me. It was hard, and like me she probably won't be able to hide that tiny bit of disappointment but I'm sure she will be happy for you. Oh and congratulations!

OHforDUCKScake Mon 07-Oct-13 11:10:50

I would just tell her.

A few years ago I was really close friends with two women, me and one had a toddler already, our other friend had none and was desperate for a baby and was TTC. Friend with toddler got pregnant and told not pregnant friend. Next month I got pregnant and had to tell Still Not Pregnant friend.

She cried.

Thankfully the next month she was pregnant.

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