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to feel under pressure to look a certain way while i am pregnant?? ie slim with small neat bump

(81 Posts)
mistyshouse Sun 06-Oct-13 19:09:48

am 3 months pg with dc3 and i was the same with the others as well. i took it a bit too far with dc2 and i only gained about 14 - 17lbs with her. and ended up having to have a growth scan at 32 weeks as my bump was so small. she is fine though but sometimes i still feel bad that i could have harmed her somehow sad

i don't want to do that this time. but i am still finding myself calorie counting and feeling guilty if i go over 2000 cals in a day or eat particularly unhealthy foods.

i like to keep slim when not pg and watch what i eat and try not to go above a certain weight. i think a major reason for my not wanting to get too big in pg is because i think the smaller i can be the easier it will be to get back in shape once the baby's here.

i have this look in my mind that i want and its tiny and slim all over with just a neat bump and never getting massive. i had that last time but it was through depriving myself and the baby, plus was only 28 so i was younger, am 33 now so realistically am gonna struggle to get any sort of decent shape back. i don't want that this time but at same time cant face getting massive.

someone said i already had a "little bump" yesterday and i was mortified, ended up crying afterwards. i don't know why, i feel like i shouldn't have one yet at only 3 months

dh knows how i feel and thinks i am being silly. and probably lots of you will think i am being shallow and awful. i wonder if anyone will admit to being the same?

kohl Tue 08-Oct-13 11:26:07

Am glad you're feeling a bit better OP. I really think that this is something to mention to your counsellor.

SweetLathyrus Tue 08-Oct-13 11:32:41

OP, if you are crying because someone told you you had a small bump, could you be a little depressed? Of course not everyone feels the same, but if you are pregnant, take some joy in that (or a seat on the bus/train at the very least!). It's not considered healthy to gain lots of weight while pregnant, but aspiring to a particular shape? Sometimes, shape is determined by baby (I didn't gain more than expected, I was petite to begin with, but DS had other ideas and was a distinctly untidy bump!)

nicelyneurotic Tue 08-Oct-13 12:47:17

Glad you are feeling better OP. I will admit to have felt the same, and I know my friends have too, but there comes a point when you just think 'sod it' and eat whatever your body tells you to eat. You will bounce back afterwards I am sure, I know women older than you that have fab post pregnancy figures. Running around after 3 DC any weight will just fall off!

Oh and stop weighing yourself until a month or two after the birth.

manicinsomniac Tue 08-Oct-13 13:04:16

I totally understand how you feel but you need to be careful.

I am also short and am underweight and newly pregnant with number 3.

With my first pregnancy I was anorexic. I hardly showed at all until 6 or 7 months and gained very little weight. My now 10 year old daughter is the size of an average 7 year old and far from robust. She was 5lb when she was born, full term. Fair enough, she would have been likely to be small anyway but I never stop feeling guilty about that. She could so easily be developmentally delayed or suffer serious health problems.

I managed to maintain healthier behaviours for my second pregnancy but was still obsessed about weight gain and small bump. My second daughter is six and also small, but not unusually so.

I am desperately trying to make myself gain weight and exercise less with this new pregnancy. It doesn't help that I don't want to be pregnant and I don't want another child. But that is my issue, not the child's, I have to get it right for him/her.

I do have a lot of professional and personal support though. I don't think it's possible without it. Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings?

Shellywelly1973 Tue 08-Oct-13 13:38:27

You might feel old but I'm 7 years older then you & on baby no6... I look exhausted today & feel it!

I wish I was 33 & on baby no3...

Take care of yourself & your little baby.

mistyshouse Tue 08-Oct-13 17:01:01

oh manic your post brought tears to my eyes - i am sure your DD's are just naturally small and its nothing you have done. but i would feel the same. and i am sorry to hear your new pregnancy comes with mixed feelings - so does mine TBH but now i am almost 13 weeks i am accepting it now, the first few weeks were a whirlwind of mixed emotions, one day i would be happy, the next day i would be wishing it hadnt happened and thinking about not going ahead with it sad

i am glad you have a lot of support though - i have spoken to my midwife but i just dont think she really gets it. and dh knows how i feel but he doesn't get it either, he says he thinks i am beautiful however and that i look beautiful when i am pg but i don't believe him

i have never met anyone who feels like i do (or admits it anyway), and if you want to chat more please feel free to PM me.

and shelly baby number 6! shock wow thats amazing

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