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To think I live opposite some really daft people

(121 Posts)
LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 15:29:42

Aerated woman's just come to the door

"I'm on the phone to the police yeah, there's smoke coming from your house, you're alright, yeah"

Me: "er yes, (pointing) that's a chimney. When you light the stove smoke comes out"

Her: "yeah, but it's fire innit and I've called the police now"

Me: "ok. Fire produces smoke yes, but it's a stove and it's meant to"

Woman wanders off shaking head and speaking into phone to police "it's a stove, not fire"


BillyBanter Sun 06-Oct-13 17:19:52

You are going DOWN!

Rooners Sun 06-Oct-13 17:19:58

Oh my good lord. Please keep updating, this is the best thread all day!

Custardo Sun 06-Oct-13 17:23:07

crikey, first time i've laughed sat mumsnet for a while.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 17:24:17


They were coming here!

2 very sweet pcso's who could barely stop smirking.

They said they had a complaint that someone had a fire with wood (!) and they wouldn't normally be here but they were driving past.

I showed them the stove, we laughed.

They then left to visit mad lass across road to tell her that 'everything was fine but the owner wouldn't be burning anything after Thursday' - they thought it might be funny to not mention the new owners might want to heat their house.

Dh actually has tears of laughter in his eyes. This has well cheered us up after the stress of packing all day


AnaisHendricks Sun 06-Oct-13 17:24:38

Oh, just realised she called the police about the imagined house-fire so is possibly not aware that there is a fire service at all, let alone that they arrive and just and turn fires off.

Looking forward to the update grin

AnaisHendricks Sun 06-Oct-13 17:25:51

x-post. Marvellous!

SummerRain Sun 06-Oct-13 17:26:59

O lord, she'd die of convulsions round here. I live in the west of Ireland and people here have fires going year round!

Dying to know what the fuzz make of all this grin

YourHandInMyHand Sun 06-Oct-13 17:28:46


SummerRain Sun 06-Oct-13 17:28:49

Oh that's brilliant. At least they had an entertaining Sunday shift grin

Patosshades Sun 06-Oct-13 17:29:06

Have her praents left her alone for the first time today and left her in charge? of the entire world

Handbagsonnhold Sun 06-Oct-13 17:32:48

Op am literally screaming!.....Enjoy the last of your packing by stoking up some good old disco tunes.....burn baby burn.....disco inferno...........relight my fire......etc etc good luck with move!

YouTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 17:34:37

I hope the new owner is a MNetter and uses the fire every day. grin

quoteunquote Sun 06-Oct-13 17:38:10

brilliant, just brilliant.

as part of my job I over see clients holiday and home rentals, I've lost count of the amount of people I have had to show how to start a fire, people honestly do not know, it beyond them to add a match to the paper and kindling,

we always lay any working fire place before guests arrive, so many phone up and ask for someone to come and show them how it works,

We even have in one of the visitors books, a complaint, that they had to start the fire each day because it went out.

I do struggle to keep a straight face, when explaining you need to keep adding logs or coal.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Sun 06-Oct-13 17:39:14

Oh how funny! I actually wish you weren't moving... Would you consider putting off your move until next month, just for mumsnetters... Pretty please?

I grew up with an open hearth, coal & wood. Come in from school and light the fire, freezing for an hour, the freeze one side burn the other for another hour, then blissful warmth and beauty for the rest of the night. I loved that fire place.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 17:39:43

There is a fire engine outside my house!

They have not come to visit me as far as I know. - me and lots of the neighbours are looking out the window

What a massive coincidence if they're not here to see me

Handbagsonnhold Sun 06-Oct-13 17:41:21

Stop it! grin

YouTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 17:41:25

Maybe she did call the firebrigade and they are looking for the fire?

If she has, I hope they charge her for the call out.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 17:41:50

Picture of fire engine outside

Cos this just seems ridiculous grin

They've not come round yet. Dh is laughing helplessly now.

Vintagecakeisstillnice Sun 06-Oct-13 17:41:50


That's just so funny.

Vintagecakeisstillnice Sun 06-Oct-13 17:42:02


That's just so funny.

Vintagecakeisstillnice Sun 06-Oct-13 17:42:31

So funny I had to say it twice. . .

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 17:44:10

Wouldn't it be funny in a kind of black humour way if my house was actually on fire further up and I didn't realise

[sends dh to loft]

YouTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 17:45:57

What would be really funny would be if it was hers. grin

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 17:46:29

It is hers!

Well, they've gone in her block of flats


Moxiegirl Sun 06-Oct-13 17:47:31


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