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To think I live opposite some really daft people

(121 Posts)
LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 15:29:42

Aerated woman's just come to the door

"I'm on the phone to the police yeah, there's smoke coming from your house, you're alright, yeah"

Me: "er yes, (pointing) that's a chimney. When you light the stove smoke comes out"

Her: "yeah, but it's fire innit and I've called the police now"

Me: "ok. Fire produces smoke yes, but it's a stove and it's meant to"

Woman wanders off shaking head and speaking into phone to police "it's a stove, not fire"


LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 16:55:43

House is 160 years old but she lives opposite in some new flats

I didn't think people were made this dippy! grin

LilRedWG Sun 06-Oct-13 16:55:46

Please keep us updated.

LisaMedicus Sun 06-Oct-13 16:56:48

On a serious note...

When I was a kid, about 10, I noticed really, really black smoke coming from a neighbour's chimney. Me and my friend bickered about it, but we spoke to my mother, who tried to see in the window, then she called the fire brigade while my dad and some neighbours broke the door down and pulled the old man out. He died in hospital.

But having said that, she does sound thicker than a yard of lard.

bootsycollins Sun 06-Oct-13 16:57:25

Wtaf? grin

MammaTJ Sun 06-Oct-13 16:58:21

I need to know what the police say if they even bother coming round.

A quiet Sunday, they might for a laugh!

bootsycollins Sun 06-Oct-13 16:58:24

Obviously that wasn't about your story Lisa just Lauries situation

MikeOxard Sun 06-Oct-13 16:58:32


MousyMouse Sun 06-Oct-13 16:59:02

hope you are not in a smoke free zone.
maybe she is from one?

ihearsounds Sun 06-Oct-13 16:59:13

Aw bless her. She does not sound at all like my dd.

YoniTime Sun 06-Oct-13 17:00:50

What gringringrin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sun 06-Oct-13 17:02:08

Laurie if this wasn't you, I'd be doubting the truth of this thread!! JFC just how thick are some people??????? I'm glad my pelvic floor is a good 'un.

Vintagecakeisstillnice Sun 06-Oct-13 17:02:16

I think 'Thicker than a yard of lard' is the best thing I've read on here this month!

NicknameIncomplete Sun 06-Oct-13 17:03:01

I want to be there when she phones the police. grin

BikeRunSki Sun 06-Oct-13 17:03:13

If she is very young she may well have only lived in houses with central heating and not have come across stoves/ open fires to heat houses.

BMW6 Sun 06-Oct-13 17:03:45

Oh my word, if she's a recent arrival you are going to have lots of visits from here over the winter months................. shock

NicknameIncomplete Sun 06-Oct-13 17:04:47

At least she will keep us entertained over the cold winter months grin

ProphetOfDoom Sun 06-Oct-13 17:07:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 17:07:55

Thank god I'm moving house this week!

This will be my last fire, I've loads of wee burnables around hence the fire - it's now 26 degrees in here!

We do live in a smokeless zone but we have a special stove that's allowed - I was going to explain this to her but since the concept of fire and stove defeated her I thought I'd best not grin

AnaisHendricks Sun 06-Oct-13 17:09:26

I wonder what she thinks firemen actually do if it's possible to just turn off a fire.

ohnoimnot Sun 06-Oct-13 17:10:32

Just wondering why you needed a fire today, its so hot outside.

BillyBanter Sun 06-Oct-13 17:14:09

You are in BIG trouble now, missy.

I guess if you've been brought up in a smokeless zone...

LaurieFairyCake Sun 06-Oct-13 17:15:13

A police car has just pulled up in my street

Seriously, are they coming here?

YoniTime Sun 06-Oct-13 17:15:37


TheSilverySoothsayer Sun 06-Oct-13 17:17:10

I live in an ex-coal mining village. One day (several decades ago though) I noticed that someone's chimney seemed to be on fire.

I knocked politely and said as much. Was greeted huffily with 'yes, I know, that's how I clean my chimney' - apparently this method used to be a v common way of doing it.

Am old enough to have been brought up in South London with a coal fire - where the thing to do was to get a sweep (and have fond memories of watching for the brush to emerge from the chimney pot)

TheSilverySoothsayer Sun 06-Oct-13 17:18:29

x-post Am agog!

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