To think you don't sign up your DC for a year of sport if you can't get them there?(49 Posts)
I feel like making a big taxi sign for the car.
I once had a mother ask me to look after her DD for a fortnight. I was on leave that fortnight. She could not understand that this was my holiday time and I did not want to spend it childminding her DD.
Some people are just chancers.
One Mum asked DS1 to go round to play with her DS1 (same class at school). Lovely. Except in the next breath she said 'You can take my DS2 back with you to play with your DS2. They had never met.
It got better. She then offered to pay me for doing it.
I had to say most firmly that I am not a childminder ( I'm a civil servant FFS), I don't need or want money, I do not want to be your childcare solution. I am on fricking holiday!
She got it eventually
I told her that I couldn't take her child as a) I was not insured to take other people's children off site unless a registered school activity, b) I rarely left school before 5pm anyway in those days, and c) (in the nicest possible way) that it wasn't my job to get her child to after school care.
Without fail, every year, there is always one parent asking if I'll babysit for them on school holidays. It's bizarre. I can't imagine why you would ever think that it's acceptable.
We have someone like this is DS2s footie team. Always emails asking for lifts the day before. Sometimes doesn't even watch home matches that are 300m from her house. The dad works Saturday mornings but the mum generally just can't be bothered to get up.
I remember one away match last year that she did actually drive to, it was really cold and sleeting, really miserable. She said she was going back to her car to get a hat then texted someone 40mins later saying she had fallen asleep in the car and what was the score!!
She is a classic for always wanting lifts or favours but never offering them back, in any context. I feel quite sorry for her DS.
I work from home and all local schools have sent letters out about strike action on October 17th. I've offered to have to lovely polite girls who have a mum who would help me out if I needed it but for the rest I'll be using ""No" is a complete sentence" a lot in the next week.
I'd never accept an unequal life sharing arrangement if I couldn't reciprocate. I think I'm in a minority though.
Yes Helen say 'I would, but I don't want to'.
Marlow ah yes we have a 'sitting in the car at the footy' Mum too. I suppose at least she's made the effort a bit. But i think standing on the sidelines is generally expected.
I would not dream of doing this, how cheeky. I don't drive so DC are not signed up for anything that I can not get them to. I would have to be very desperate to ask anyone to go out of their way for me.
I'm a stay at home in bed footie mum
After the first 5 years it was over to you, DH. He coached them. I got to stay with DD who was no longer willing to sit bored on the sidelines for most of Sunday.
We did other stuff instead.
DH and DS are about to leave for today's game. DD and I are off out to get her some new clothes for college, with some lunch thrown in We may even have a glass of wine....
Katie it's different when you have other children to look after, it's not fair to always expect the whole family to stand out in the cold. The mum I'm thinking of has an older DS but he is fairly self sufficient so doesn't need looking after. I just think it's a bit sad that there is no-one there to see him play.
We have two footballing DSs. there's no escape.
I agree. I would go if DH didn't, in fact I did for many years when DC were still in primary school.
DH and DFIL and sometimes DBIL attend the games religiously. My role now is washing the strips thrice weekly and pretending interest in the score
sounds like it is the football club that is organising the lifts OP? probably told the parents that lifts could be arranged. I know when my ds did rugby we were told lifts could be arranged, so if you are taking your DS you can take another DS.
can you ask your club if you can cag a lift for your ds occasionally? make it fair?
I have had many years of taxiing. More than most because we live in a small village with very little public transport. With teenagers there are often long distances between friends homes.
I only work part time and DH is retired so we are always available for lifts, and DH always does the late night ones .
Actually I miss it a bit now that DS1 can drive.
Some parents bend over backwards to reciprocate but others never do.
One of DS1s friends has done more miles in my car than his own I think. His parents never, ever do lifts.
The players ask DS over Facebook *waiki, so not even asking us, or even the parents asking us. Very hard to say no to a child.
People will ask in the hope they can get out of stuff. I know a mum who will ask other mums to pick her child/ren up from school any day she can't be bothered (no work or other reason). Lots of people have wised up to it and refuse so those left doing it are the very polite/those who don't like confrontation and the new chokdren/parents who have yet to realise. I felt bad for a new mum who was asked (and agreed) to take this woman's dc home - it's not like I could have gone up to get and said, look x is a complete user so don't take her dc home without looking like a monstrous bitch myself. That's how these people get away with it. Everyone is too polite!
Just been talking to DH and yes, he's taking a few teens with AWOL parents this week. He says it is a rare Sunday when he doesn't. However, DH would never miss a game, ever. He is obsessed with the damn game. He played for a club as a yoof, coaches, is on the committee and is Sky Sports most ardent fan
We always end up taking some kids along to the footie with DS, but strictly on the basis that they are brought to and collected from our house. Hassle for us is therefore pretty minimal.
I must be lucky cos apart from the odd one or two taking the piss a few years ago, I have loads of reciprocal driving arrangements for dc's activities, and then childcare too.
I work at home most of the time, which means people know I am available a lot at short notice and for lifts; but when I am out working I have no flexibility at all so I love that I have a team of people I know I can call on when needed.
I have taken one of ds's friends to and from all training and matches for over a year now and its great! He lives round the corner, his mum often comes along too plus her ds is no bother anyway. So far she has bought me a massage and manicure as well as flowers/chocs and wine at various intervals I tell her not to of course, and her ds is great for the team, but well, if she will insist on paying in kind with goodies, who am I to argue
If these people are ringing up an hour or so before their children need collecting, I think I would just not answer the phone!
I accept a lot of lifts for DD because although I can drive, I am not the world's best and lack any confidence. So, I offer to help when I am in a position to do so, and offer OH's help when he is around. I think it evens itself up.
Lift-selfishness is clearly rubbish.
I'm curious, though- when you find yourself watching the DCs at stupid o'clock every cold winter Saturday, why no one brings camping chairs, blankets and hot chocolate in a flask?
Strikes me that you could turn it into a bit of fun gossiping time instead of being cold and uncomfortable. But I've never done it myself so I may well have missed something there.
I always take a chair and a hot drink silverten. But I am in the minority. A lot of parents keep warm by
effing and jeffing at the ref shouting a lot.
I will admit to shamelessly asking for lifts, when a particular set of domestic circumstances have come together and everything would get stuffed up otherwise. Sometimes, those circumstances have lasted quite a while.
But, and I hope this is a adequate mitigation for those of you who feel landed ont he other end of this, I would a) offer lifts copiously when back on the road again (literally), b) offer (specifically or by mentioning general willingness) to accompany sundry children to various venues on public transport and c) offer things like looking after various children on the days when school pick up arrangements went wrong.
I couldn't always match the favours like for like, but I would always keep throwing what I could back into the pot in the hope it all balances out eventually.
Oh I don't miss the football phase one little bit. I remember those freezing Sunday mornings on soggy pitches cringing at all the
fishwives mothers yelling at their DC / the ref / the coach / each other.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.