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AIBU and mean or friend is trying to take advantage?

(107 Posts)
Hopemore Thu 03-Oct-13 21:48:08

Sorry if this will be long and boring, I will try and do my best to explain the situation.

I am friends with "Betty" for a long time now and so are our kids. We constantly pass second hand stuff to each other, anything really, be it for the kids, ourselves, household...we usually check with each other first before offering to someone else or charity shop.

One day Betty came to my house and asked to buy a specific item that I had bought brand new for business use but no longer needed anymore. The item is in mint condition. I let her take it to her home so she could show to her husband and try at hers, even though she had tried at mine may times before. I said to her I couldn't price it at that point as I wasn't even thinking of selling it now and I needed to check on eBay how much the item is selling for.

So she took it home and 4 days later, in replying to my txt regarding other subject, she said that they decided to buy the product and asking me about my price, but she had just seen a similar one (not in great condition like mine and an old version too) at a charity shop going for £6, so she was just giving me an idea...

I than checked on eBay and saw that there is none like mine for sale (mine has an extra useful bit), but there is the old version going for £30+. I bought it brand new for £65.

So I texted her and said that my price was £30. And that I knew a neighbour who could sell one of the old ones for £25. She than txt me back saying that she is better go and check if the charity shop one is still there available and I suggested she give them a call and ask them to hold it for her (as she was working).

Anyway, no more communication since and she still using my item, never paid anything and doesn't really bother me as I don't need it nor need the money.

However we usually meet every Thursday with another friend, usually in my home, I couldn't hosted today but the other friend said that Betty invited her to go to her house...
And I was not invited...
So now I am wondering if she is angry with me because I am not selling the item for £6 or even giving it to her for free, or if she is only avoiding me because she doesn't want to pay for the item?

Am I being mean and selfish after all?

Monty27 Thu 03-Oct-13 23:44:07

In my head it's a paper shredder. I have no idea why. confused.

I agree with Mistress, texting will complicate it. Just call her and say you're dropping by to pick it up.

SweetSeraphim Thu 03-Oct-13 23:47:43

I need to know what the item is before I can make a decision as to whether YABU or not grin

LongDeadMotherofHorrors Thu 03-Oct-13 23:47:58

This is easy - Tell her "I need to get the best price so I will put it on Ebay if you cannot afford it."

IComeFromALandDownUnder Thu 03-Oct-13 23:50:31

Is she normally generous with her stuff? If she gives you lots of good stuff and never asks for payment then I would definitely let it go.

microserf Thu 03-Oct-13 23:55:19

Ask for it back and sell it independently.

I am also suspicious she has sold it herself, so will be entertaining to watch if you do get it back.

Weegiemum Thu 03-Oct-13 23:59:56

I reckon it's a laminator.

<<covets everyone's laminators>> (yes I'm that shallow!!)

Hopemore Fri 04-Oct-13 00:01:52

I really don't think she sold it herself.

She is stingy with money but generous with stuff that she already has and no longer need (but never birthday presents/cards for kids, etc), nothing that she has to go and buy FOR other people, only her left overs or left overs of other people iykwim.

No she never asks for payment, but I give her good stuff and never ask for payment either.

I am tempted to 'forget' and see how far it will go...

Monty27 Fri 04-Oct-13 00:02:59

Hmm Weegie or a printer wink

Hopemore Fri 04-Oct-13 00:03:05

It is not about the money.

I just feel deceived.

And if she was low income and struggling I would definitely understand.

Monty27 Fri 04-Oct-13 00:05:27

But Hope give us a clue grin

Hopemore Fri 04-Oct-13 00:10:00

the item

expatinscotland Fri 04-Oct-13 00:58:17

Why forget? FFS. 'I'm really struggling at the moment and need to sell this on Ebay with a higher reserve than £6. I'll come pick it up (state time and place).'

Fakebook Fri 04-Oct-13 03:44:00

I thought it was a lam

Fakebook Fri 04-Oct-13 03:45:10


Get it back. She's taking the big P.

Hissy Fri 04-Oct-13 07:10:37

Is she actually USING it? That's not on!

She took it to SHOW her H, not use it, get it back today!

WaterSpaniel Fri 04-Oct-13 07:24:27

Wow, I guessed laminator too!

WaterSpaniel Fri 04-Oct-13 07:25:35

but, er, it's a high chair smile

Shutupanddrive Fri 04-Oct-13 07:26:00

Ask if she still wants it as you need the money or take it back

CSIJanner Fri 04-Oct-13 07:27:15

You do realised that its going to come back full of skanky food and grimy?

piratecat Fri 04-Oct-13 07:34:38

get it back its now got yogurt in the cracks. cheeky cow shock

christinarossetti Fri 04-Oct-13 07:34:41

I'm mystified about your business, but are you def sure that Betty knew you were free at lunch time?

MokuMoku Fri 04-Oct-13 08:00:28

I bet it is all covered in food and juice stains by now.

flipchart Fri 04-Oct-13 08:08:14

This isn't a big deal.
All you need to say, as others have pointed out is ' hiya, listen, I'll be over just after tea to get the high chair, ok, see you soon"
No drama, no fuss.

Lavenderhoney Fri 04-Oct-13 08:15:30

Just call her, and whoever answers, say " I'm coming over to collect x as Betty has found a better deal for one. That's great for her, so I need it back to sell it for the price I want"

Don't text, its easily ignored. If you can't go Thursday and you have told them, they can still meet up without you. If you end up being free after all, call and say so and ask if you can come along, if its a regular meet up with all of you.

claudedebussy Fri 04-Oct-13 08:17:16

yes i would definitely go and pick it up. no explanations needed really. if she wants to hang on to it she has to pay.

she's being cheeky. not worth losing the friendship over though.

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