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AIBU?

To not let my children go trick or treating

215 replies

Nolikeythespookey · 01/10/2013 18:26

I really dislike trick or treating. It is not a British thing - it is a new thing from America and I think it's greedy and intrusive. I don't want my kids going to strangers doors and essentially saying 'give us sweets or we'll do something bad to you'. I think it's horrible manners and not even necessarily safe. I don't think children need a big bucket of 'candy' either.

My kids have been young enough to discourage this so far, but this year one has been invited out trick or treating with friends. I've said we have other plans. He's 6. When they get a bit older and are more aware of the whole thing I won't let them feel left out and will grudgingly allow them to go (with an adult) but I really, really hate this stupid non tradition.

We did used to have 'guising' on hallowe'en in the UK, where kids/guisers had to do a 'party piece/turn' to earn their treat, and I think that's a much nicer thing - bit of give and take and no demanding/threatening from the kids, plus the treat could easily be 20p or an apple.

OP posts:
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cantspel · 01/10/2013 18:27

mine have never been trick or treating and they have got to middle teens without their lives being blighted by the fact we dont do halloween at all.

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Rooners · 01/10/2013 18:29

I hate it too, last year our neighbour took his kids and mine, I didn't want them to go, as I didn't want people to think badly of us. I already feel uncomfortable living in a well off area and to go about 'begging' like this is hugely embarrassing to me - but I was ill at the time and felt pushed into it.
I thought they were going to do their street, not mine.

They got so much stuff it was insane, and then it all stayed at the neighbour's house and my children didn't get any of it. HmmHmm

I don't speak to him any more. Tight git.

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ShowOfBloodyStumps · 01/10/2013 18:31

SANCTIONED BEGGING

SOMETHING ABOUT SCOTLAND

Was I first? Do I win?

I don't celebrate Hallowe'en and have no feelings about it either way btw.

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cherrytomato40 · 01/10/2013 18:31

It's up to you obviously but personally I don't see the harm. When they were little the kids loved dressing up and handing out sweets to trick or treaters, last year I took them out for the first time and they loved it, lots of their friends were out too and lots of people had really made an effort to decorate their houses.

We use the universal code of only knocking on doors that have a lit pumpkin outside!

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Ragwort · 01/10/2013 18:31

I really dislike 'trick or treating' and made sure we were doing other things on Halloween rather than 'forbid' my DS to do it Grin. We did allow him to go for the first time when he was 10 and he prompty said it was a waste of time and wished he hadn't bothered !

Although I don't like it, I do get sweets in etc for children who come round, I am not going to give them a lecture on the rights and wrongs of it but it is certainly not something I would ever encourage.

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TheCrackFox · 01/10/2013 18:31

Trick or Treating has been going on in Scotland for centuries and is called guising - we actually exported the tradition to America who, in turn, have exported it to England. That aside, if you don't like it then you do not have to let your children take part.

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Sirzy · 01/10/2013 18:32

Yanbu.

If you still want to do the Halloween stuff without trick or treating why not have a party/activities in the house?

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Bowlersarm · 01/10/2013 18:32

I'm a misery about it as well. I hate it. Pleased we live rurally now so don't get any trick or treaters.

Bah humbug...

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Mintyy · 01/10/2013 18:32

Oooooo, that time of year again?

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CocacolaMum · 01/10/2013 18:33

I don't really see the issue and am highly sceptical that its in any way knew or American..

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FlapJackOLantern · 01/10/2013 18:33

HERE WE GO - SAME OLD THING EVERY YEAR: begging, paedophiles behind every door. Yawn yawn.

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CocacolaMum · 01/10/2013 18:33

NEW*

(oh lordy the shame)

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Felyne · 01/10/2013 18:35

I hate it too. I hated sitting at home in the dark pretending to be out and now that I have kids I am dreading when they'll be old enough to want to go. We did a thing in our street once years ago where everyone who wanted to participate hung a picture of a pumpkin on their door, and it was just the kids from our street mainly, they were all similar ages and the parents were there too, and afterward we all had a kind of street party. That was nice.

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Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 01/10/2013 18:35

No YANBU. I never let my kids do it neither did my parents let us.

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TigOldBitties · 01/10/2013 18:36

If you don't want them to do it then don't

I've never heard of guising, an am British. We used to go trick or treating when I was a child which was some years ago.

I love it, and we only knock on doors are clearly participating so whats the harm. I really enjoy having trick or treaters do our door, its lovely and social as well as often being entertaining. We usually have a halloween party and go trick or treating at some point in the evening.

No one is making it obligatory to celebrate so its still down to personal choice.

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Yorkieaddict · 01/10/2013 18:36

YANBU. I hate it too. Thankfully DS has not asked to go so far, but I won't be letting him any time soon.

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Flicktheswitch · 01/10/2013 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViciousVampireGuineaPig · 01/10/2013 18:36

I don't see a problem. My older ones are teens and would be banned as I think it's way too intimidating, but my eldest takes my 8 an 5yo around with their friends and will do this year probably. They like doing 'tricks' and these are always jokes. It's just what happens where we live, they all do it. In some places where you don't really know people, then I wouldn't do it as it can be intrusive, but here we know everyone, so it's not really begging, just a bit of fun between friends.

And I can't remember, but I think it originated from guising/souling and was brought over to America by us. Who developed and changed and made it bigger, but it is still going around asking for x.

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Ragwort · 01/10/2013 18:37

FlapJack - the whole of mumsnet is the 'same old thing every year' - weddings/TTC/being pregnant/giving birth/baby's name/interfering in-laws/mother & baby groups/sleep training/weaning/SAHM or WOHM/starting school/birthday parties/Christmas/choosing secondary school/friends/GCSE options/university applications etc etc etc.

How often do you get a really new topic on Mumsnet? Grin

wonder why I have wasted 12 years here.

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UC · 01/10/2013 18:37

Where we live, it's a big event. All the kids get dressed up and go out knocking on doors. However, there is an unwritten rule that you only knock on doors that have pumpkins outside, as this is a sign that the owner is happy to have you knock on the door. Those who want to partake do, those who don't, don't. When it's like this, it's great fun.

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wigglesrock · 01/10/2013 18:39

I'm in NI, I don't think it's an American export - my granny remembers doing it and shes over 100. I let my kids go the houses in our road that have been decorated or that leave their outside lights on Smile . They go at about 7pm and are in for 7.20 Smile . Mind you I also let my kids play out in the street, into the giddy lateness 8pm, so I'm clearly on a hiding to nothing anyway Wink

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FlapJackOLantern · 01/10/2013 18:42

You don't Ragwort - and it's boring boring boring Grin

(It's almost as though the same posters do the same post every year but under a different user name !)

I've bought the sweets, got the costume, and am really really looking forward to being intimidated by all the littlies in the village Smile

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MarianneEnjolras · 01/10/2013 18:45

Is it really still a "new thing from America"?

I remember my mum telling me I wasn't allowed to go trick or treating because it a "New thing from America" 20 years ago.

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IslaValargeone · 01/10/2013 18:47

Define 'new thing from America'
I'm not far off 50 and I did it as a kid.
My dc won't be going out but I get stuff in for other kids and we have a mini party, she loves it.
If you don't like it, don't do it.

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Tailtwister · 01/10/2013 18:49

Ours are too young to have done it, but we stopped having people a few years ago as the 'children' were older teenagers and started asking for money. They were rude and intimidating, so now we just switch the lights of at the front of the house and pretend to be out.

YANBU.

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