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to kick DH in the nuts and pretend it's an accident??

(35 Posts)
FattyMcSaggyChops Mon 30-Sep-13 23:09:37

DH is obsessive about hanging washing out. I hate doing it at this time of year due to spiders. Yesterday's load actually brought in TWO spiders.

Anyway he insists on hanging the towels out today but when he brought them in he put them on our bed before folding. I said there will be spiders in our bed now.

me to bed 20 minutes ago and after checking under duvet and all pillows decided it was safe. Every few minutes he sneakily tickles me to pretend it's a spider. Everytime I hit the roof.

Next time I can hit him in nuts and say it was an accident, right??

Threalamandaclarke Thu 03-Oct-13 17:02:22

TBJ thanks. Good point.
But OMG they are horrible.
I love my tumble drier grin

JesusInTheCabbageVan Thu 03-Oct-13 16:54:38

I knew about the swallowing spiders urban myth... but I'm pretty sure I have swallowed at least one in my sleep grin A couple of months ago I was having a perfectly normal dream which suddenly incorporated a feeling of a phlegmy cough. I eventually coughed myself awake, and had a distinct sensation of ::something:: going down. So I swallowed something. Maybe a spider. Maybe the tooth fairy. Who can tell?

minihahawithafringe Thu 03-Oct-13 13:28:42

Mydh thought I was being a bit girly and overreacting until the day I picked my handbag up from the floor and a spider ran over my hand.... I overreacted- so much I fell out of the bedroom windows.....

Now he understands

TheBigJessie Thu 03-Oct-13 13:20:56

Don't worry, Amanda

From an evolutionary stand-point, it makes very little sense for any creature to put oneself in another creature's mouth and risk getting eaten. There are exceptions: human sexual activity wink and symbiotic cleaning relationships (large creature lets a bird eat food from between its teeth, resulting in fed bird, and clean teeth for animal). However, the second seems to be hotly argued, and there seems to be no authentication that it ever happens with predators' mouths, after all!

dopeysheep Wed 02-Oct-13 22:31:30

Love Sir Twatweevil. Am having that for myself grin

nicename Wed 02-Oct-13 22:21:58

Hee hee hee.

She can't prove that she hasn't swallowed one though, can she, although I'd say 8 a year a bit much. The ones in out last house were the size of golf balls, so I can't say you wouldn't notice one going down.

Threalamandaclarke Wed 02-Oct-13 21:25:18

Oh shit. Now I can't go to sleep.
YANBU btw.

TheBigJessie Wed 02-Oct-13 21:20:42

nicename I can tell you where you didn't read it: snopes.


"In a 1993 PC Professional article, columnist Lisa Holst wrote about the ubiquitous lists of "facts" that were circulating via e-mail and how readily they were accepted as truthful by gullible recipients. To demonstrate her point, Holst offered her own made-up list of equally ridiculous "facts," among which was the statistic cited above about the average person's swallowing eight spiders per year, which she took from a collection of common misbeliefs printed in a 1954 book on insect folklore. In a delicious irony, Holst's propagation of this false "fact" has spurred it into becoming one of the most widely-circulated bits of misinformation to be found on the Internet."

nicename Wed 02-Oct-13 15:28:24

Where did I read that everyone has probably swallowed a spider in their sleep at some point or other?

Samhainslass Wed 02-Oct-13 15:25:36

DH brought in some towels and carried them upstairs to fold and put away. All I heard was screaming...there were three massive spiders lurking on them! And he hadn't spotted them until he got upstairs shock Poor man. Last time he opened the gas box to top up he was bitten repeatedly by one that was guarding its young! Starting to think they are out to get him...

TheBigJessie Wed 02-Oct-13 15:24:18

I would not consciously decide it was justifiable to use physical violence. Deliberate violence is not justifiable.

However, I think that if someone keeps stimulating fear in someone else, and the victim reflexively fights back (you know, the fight or flee response), the git will bloody deserve the bruising.

I also think that anyone who is making someone scared and upset repeatedly, is being Very Nasty Indeed.

FattyMcSaggyChops Wed 02-Oct-13 14:54:12

Yes completely justified hmm

ThePerfectFather Wed 02-Oct-13 10:11:16

Follow up question - my wife keeps doing the same thing, would I be justified in punching her hard in the tits? Hard enough that it hurts for like 30 minutes?

FattyMcSaggyChops Wed 02-Oct-13 06:38:47

I was never scared of spiders, could catch them on my own. Then one day I was staying away in a (actually very clean and lovely) b&b for work. I was sleeping but dreaming a spider was on my face. Woke up to see an actual spider walking across the pillow away from me!

is is where the fear began. I'm ok still. catching them although it's a bit comedic but the thought of one being in bed does terrify me.

I did not kick DH in the nuts but when he came in for a cuddle I elbowed him in the ribs. smile

SugarHut Tue 01-Oct-13 23:37:18

Spiders are hideous. Take a torch and do your best. Then...if it was me, I would call him with a massive tone of urgency.. "DH!!!!!....DH...quickly!!!!!" When he runs in, be prepared standing holding a brolly. Ask him to kneel, and dub him "Sir Twatweevil of Spiderdom" Say nothing else and walk off.

But then I do have a weird sense of humour.

quoteunquote Tue 01-Oct-13 23:31:26,320,EV.html

Get rid of your Achilles heel, well worth trying.

WahIzzit Tue 01-Oct-13 21:59:15

Oh fuck. What do I do. Have the washing hanging outside which I didn't get a chance to bring in before dark as we were out. On returning home I asked d h to bring the clothes in, I was busy getting dc ready for bed. He said ok but sat there, he normally does it before heading upstairs to bed.

Anyway since then we have had a row over something rather trivial (stressful day and I am so so fed up), and the tosser has gone off upstairs and I know he wont bring the washing in out of spite. (Had to be my fuckin clothes). I decided I should fetch them myself but the bloody garden lights not working and I cant see, and am rather fearful of the dreaded garden spiders.


Sindarella Tue 01-Oct-13 08:27:25

Blackeyed, a dead body!? Thats a bit extreme, could have just done what op suggested an kicked him in the nuts grin

BlackeyedSusan Tue 01-Oct-13 07:58:07

there is aa dead body in my kitchen. I have been stepping over it since yesterday. I m going to have to get a smal;l boy to help me unpck the shopping now.

nennypops Tue 01-Oct-13 07:47:18

There's always one humourless type on these threads, isn't there? Or in this case two. Hi, ShakeAndVac and CoffeeTea!

headlesslambrini Tue 01-Oct-13 07:41:40

only if you kick him so hard he coughs them up. You can then add some hooks and wear them as earrings grin

wonderingsoul Tue 01-Oct-13 07:36:22

not the same thing but my exh did some thing simler and i wish i had kicked him where it hurt.

we had just watched the grudge, i can only watch horros with some one and this freaked me out.
i also have to add that my bigest fear is going insane and he knew this.

any way we where almost asleep that nioght when he started making the noise, arrr like girl. i told him to stop ..he caried on but was pretending to be asleep. even if i nudged him etc. he "wake up" and tell me i was being silly. that it wasnt him and get angry at me for waking him him.

after 30 m ins of this i was starting to question myself, was i hearing it.. he kept on till i got out bed and started crying on the sofa.

i know it sounds silly but when some one starts doing stuff that your scared off you cant help how you react.

so no.. i hope you did kick him in the balls

CrohnicallyLurking Tue 01-Oct-13 07:19:23

ShakeAndVac- I take it you don't have a phobia of anything? I do (not of spiders though). It's a primitive, unreasonable reaction. So even though you know that it's your DH pretending, the phobic part of your brain still goes 'aaahhhh! Panic!', your heart skips a beat and your hands go sweaty. Not nice when someone is repeatedly doing it just because it amuses them.

DaleyBump Tue 01-Oct-13 00:14:13

<hands the posters who don't understand sarcasm a grip>

CoffeeTea103 Mon 30-Sep-13 23:53:01

ShakeAndVac, I agree some of these replies are so ott. Think these posters just hate men.

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