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To be annoyed at my friend for booking her birthday party...

(69 Posts)
Itsmybluminbirthday Mon 30-Sep-13 18:38:46

On my actual birthday?

That day is not her birthday.

She knew it was my birthday.

Or am I being childish?

Have name changed.

gamerchick Mon 30-Sep-13 19:15:20

I agree ^^Maybe it's a surprise party for you? [/clutchingatstraws]

Personally I wouldn't care unless I was planning a do myself and we were in direct competition for guests. I dont think there's anything wrong with feeling miffed.. some people care more about their birthdays than others.

Bowlersarm Mon 30-Sep-13 19:15:37

I don't think you're unreasonable.

It's a bit mean of her if she knows it's your birthday to expect you to celebrate hers without making it a joint celebration.

Hemlet Mon 30-Sep-13 19:17:23

Have you asked her why she's chosen to celebrate her birthday on your birthday?

Itsmybluminbirthday Mon 30-Sep-13 19:17:37

Same group of friends. No traditionally significant milestone on either side.

I can live with it. Just a little piqued I suppose and wanted a moan without causing ripples!

Minnieisthedevilmouse Mon 30-Sep-13 19:23:02

Bizarre. I'd ask her. Could she have forgotten? Is she often this self absorbed?!

MrsWolowitz Mon 30-Sep-13 19:26:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claudedebussy Mon 30-Sep-13 19:27:35

tis a bit weird...

maddening Mon 30-Sep-13 19:28:15

I wonder if it's a surprise party for you?

piratecat Mon 30-Sep-13 19:33:53

having read your second post, that it's a school night and not a significant one, then it's selfish imo.

FreeWee Mon 30-Sep-13 19:35:44

YANBU to be annoyed. Whether you tell her you're annoyed or not is a different matter but I would be annoyed yes.

Itsmybluminbirthday Mon 30-Sep-13 19:36:56

It's going to be odd, with a load of mutual friends. What if one of them says happy birthday to me? Or several do? How's that going to work?

It's an etiquette minefield if nothing else. That or an interesting for a bit of social observation...

Itsmybluminbirthday Mon 30-Sep-13 19:38:48

*interesting occasion


claudedebussy Mon 30-Sep-13 19:41:29

yes, the nice thought is it's a surprise party for you - but what if it's not?

i do think it's poor etiquette. i don't think i'd personally be pulling that stunt.

IamChristmas Mon 30-Sep-13 19:43:47

I think YANBU. One of my friends did that once, arranged a birthday outing on another friends birthday. I made sure I turned up with a huge bunch of flowers for the person whose birthday it actually was, and made a big fuss of her. I did give the other friend a card etc as well but really wanted to make sure my friend whose birthday it was didn't feel overlooked.
I am a fully fledged adult and I still like to make a fuss of people on their birthdays and have a bit of a fuss made of mine. I don't see why kids should have all the fun, every year I'm still alive is a good enough reason to celebrate I think!

Itsmybluminbirthday Mon 30-Sep-13 19:50:45

IamChristmas, that's really sweet.

Though I'd imagine it could be a rather sticky situation. I think the reason I'm 'piqued' is that it almost feels like an attempt to test peoples loyalties. I'm probably over thinking it.

Bowlersarm Mon 30-Sep-13 19:52:28

It's going to be very odd.

You'll have to sit there looking uncomfortable while everyone hands cards/presents to your friend.

Then once they realise it's your actual birthday, they'll all be looking really uncomfortable they haven't bought anything for you.

Sounds very awkward.

bundaberg Mon 30-Sep-13 19:53:37

well don't go!

say "sorry, but i;m going out that night as it's MY BIRTHDAY"

MrsWembley Mon 30-Sep-13 19:53:37

YANBU, she is being odd. If you can cope without getting too upset then go, but make sure she overhears any of your mutual friends wishing you a Happy Birthday...

I, too, don't get this thing on here about birthdays only being for children. I get fuck all attention the rest of the year and spend most of my life looking after my family. On my birthday I want looking after!


MrsWilliamBodie Mon 30-Sep-13 19:56:38

I see what you mean about testing loyalties. Is she a close friend?

If she was a newbie to the group, I would be declaring 'Wendy'.

IamChristmas Mon 30-Sep-13 19:57:37

It was awkward. However you have done nothing wrong, so you have nothing to feel bad about. Hopefully your friends will look out for you and if it makes her squirm that's her problem.

ILetHimKeep20Quid Mon 30-Sep-13 19:57:52

It does seem a bit random if it's a school night

Hassled Mon 30-Sep-13 19:59:29

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I'd be mightily hacked off. It's just such a weird thing to do.

You need to talk to her - say "Mate, this is a weird thing to do. What's occurring?".

MrsWembley Mon 30-Sep-13 20:08:27 a Welsh accent...

Perhaps she has <whispers> Forgotten its your birthday!

And if so, and if I were you, I would be positively wallowing in her mortification when she realises. On the night.

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