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to go on holidays without my DCs

(28 Posts)
Mrschocolate Mon 30-Sep-13 16:52:14

Just that really
DH surprised me at lunch saying that he has booked us a weekend away to a little cottage for our 10th wedding anniversary. This means that our 4 DCs will be staying with PILs from Friday night till Sunday afternoon. (DH has already arranged this)

My mum found out that this was happening (she asked if she could have a package sent to us for her) She went mental saying that she never left me as a child and I am neglectful leaving my 1 year old twins for so long. She also asked if she could have the DCs for a night but I said no because we have had issues with her being alone with the DCs and I still can't trust her plus the DCs have never stayed with her for more than a few hours where as my eldest two have stayed at PILs many times and the twins have stayed the night before and it was fine.

My mum said that she thought I was a rubbish mum and she was fed up of not being trusted she then left muttering about calling SS.

So AIBU? To go on holiday. We will only be an hour away at the most so we are on hand if anything happens. But I feel guilty now.

Souredstones Mon 30-Sep-13 16:53:42

Yanbu at all to go away. Your mum sounds like a right martyr mum! A relaxed parent is a good parent, enjoy your trip!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Mon 30-Sep-13 16:53:55

Nope. YADNBU. Go and have a lovely time. DO NOT feel guilty.

It sounds like your mum has some issues.

thecockyfoxreturns Mon 30-Sep-13 16:56:41

I don't think you are being unreasonable, lots of people do it, certainly not a SS issue anyway.
It isn't something I would do myself though even though I stayed at my grandparents as a child.

BonaDea Mon 30-Sep-13 16:58:18


Your mum's nose is out of joint so she is trying to make you feel bad. Ignore and have a lovely weekend!

SmallBee Mon 30-Sep-13 17:00:42

I would go! My parents had breaks when we were kids and we LOVED staying at our grandparents for a long weekend. They'd always make it fun and exciting. It definitely doesn't make you a bad parent. In fact, I fully intend to follow their example.

flipchart Mon 30-Sep-13 17:01:04

I've done it since the boys were little.

I go away regularly (abroad with my friends, by myself and with DH as well as my brother occasionally) I take the boys skiiing once a year and on a a back packing trip once a year and a beach holiday once a year as well so it's not like they don't go.

It hasn't harmed my lads, we still go to the pictures together, eat out together chat and they give me a kiss and tell me the love me regularly.
They are now 17 and 14.

No calls to SS were needed!!

merrymum Mon 30-Sep-13 17:06:14

GO!! have fun, enjoy yourself, safe in the knowledge that your DC's are being well looked after. How lovely of your DH, we too have had many weekends away while the DC's were safe and sound and being spoilt rotten by Grandma! It's good for you, as much as you love them, to have a break, and at the same time they get to make some lovely memories with their Grandparents.

BackforGood Mon 30-Sep-13 17:06:59

Of course YANBU. What a lovely surprise. and what lovely PiLs you have ! smile

DorisIsAPinkDragon Mon 30-Sep-13 17:07:34

You mum is jealous (and quite nasty with it!)

Go and enjoy 10 years, 4 kids and with 1 year ofld twins I think you deserve a break smile

wine Enjoy!

Mrschocolate Mon 30-Sep-13 17:13:30

Thank you
I know she is probably jealous and I know the DCs will love the weekend and they will be spoilt rotten. Apparently they are planning to take them to soft play and the cinema which they will love.

WillYouDoTheFandango Mon 30-Sep-13 17:15:08

YANBU your mum is. It's nothing to do with her and what will she tell SS? "My daughter's gone on holiday and left her children with people who love them and are happy to have them?"

Best bring those lovely PiL a nice present back though!

WilsonFrickett Mon 30-Sep-13 17:16:37

Go! I've been on holiday, weekends away and work trips without my DS. Why wouldn't I? Your mum sounds - forgive me - a right mixing old bag.

Mrschocolate Mon 30-Sep-13 17:17:21

It's funny that you call her a 'martyr mum' because in ways she was but in more ways she wasn't whilst I was growing up.

MomOfTwoGirls2 Mon 30-Sep-13 17:19:51

Go, and have the best time! Sounds a very well deserved break, and pretty short one too.
Don't mind your mom, she being quite a cow.

Mrschocolate Mon 30-Sep-13 17:22:00

wilsonfrickett don't worry people have said a lot worse about her.

Fandango we will get PILs A very big present they will need it grin

leylandii Mon 30-Sep-13 17:24:44

I couldn't do it as I would miss them too much! But each to their own and all that.

MarianForrester Mon 30-Sep-13 17:26:14

Of course YANBU. Your mother's argument is bizarre.

And how lovely to have the whole thing organised for you, sounds great.

Your dcs will have a lovely time, and you and dh can relax and enjoy yourselves and come back refreshed to the rigours of child care smile

Your dm is just being horrid, ignore it and have a great time

ajandjjmum Mon 30-Sep-13 17:27:10

We went away fairly regularly when the DC were small - for much longer than a weekend! grin

Now they're older we enjoy going away with them, and they make the holiday much more fun, so it isn't an issue. They insist as long as we keep paying, they'll keep coming.......

Mrschocolate Mon 30-Sep-13 17:31:54

ajandjjmum that's lovely grin
We do take our DCs on holiday at least once a year so we do have family holidays as well.

ajandjjmum Mon 30-Sep-13 17:37:15

Young children are hard work - nomatter how much you love them. You need some time for the two of you too. You have the opportunity - I'd grab it with both hands.

One thing we used to do (and at 20 and 21 the DC still talk about it), is wrap up a tiny present for them each day - maybe a pencil, or notepad etc., with a little note saying 'have fun at swimming' etc. They looked forward to us going away, knowing they'd get presents!

Have fun!

2starsandawish Mon 30-Sep-13 17:42:49

Go and have a great time you deserve it.
Does your mum have form for this sort of behaviour? She sounds jealous
Have fun cake

Mrschocolate Mon 30-Sep-13 17:51:28

ajandjjmum that's a great idea thanks I shall steal it.

2stars she has her moments. Most recently she was upset that I am pregnant again. But we put up with it because the DCs love seeing her plus we don't see her that much, and if we stick to our guns she usually gets bored and excepts it.

Beastofburden Mon 30-Sep-13 17:51:53

Funny, as it is your mum who can't be trusted with the DC, so if anyone needs to up their game, it's her.

Go for the holiday, of course it is not U.

thebody Mon 30-Sep-13 18:47:57

your mum sounds daft.

enjoy your break.

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