To dislike people who are Always Right.(54 Posts)
It's minor I know, but it grates on my nerves. My Dad is one of these people, starts huge arguments over nothing and if you dare to have a differing opinions he's all "woe is me, I'm always wrong. Don't listen to me, I'm wrong."
My landlady is like it too (I'm a lodger). And it's never something big, it's something petty and ridiculous. Like yesterday she posted an interesting video on facebook. It was an experiment as to peoples reactions to a gay couple getting flak from a waitress based in Texas. At the end it referenced the same experiment done in New York. Whilst chatting about it I said "And that guy! The one who actually high fived the bloody waitress!"
She stopped and said "No, that was in New York." I shrugged it off and just said, "Oh, I thought that it was the Texas clip in the diner, oh well." and tried to leave it at that, but then she kept on and on about how actually, it was in New York not the Texas clip and so on.
I have seen the video again since then and it was the guy in Texas. Not that it matters, it's a moot point, it's a ridiculous thing to use to 'prove' that you're right about. It's always things like this, with both my Dad and my landlady.
The best from my Dad recently was him having a massive go at me because I won't go self employed (I'm a nanny, have called HMRC three times in the past month alone about this and have been told all three times that no, I cannot become self employed!) and him saying "I'm self employed, my employer pays my tax, then I pay my tax too and I get a massive tax rebate every year in the thousands!" I gave up at that point and told him that yes, of course that's how it works.
Why do people have to be Always Right ffs? Why is it so hard for them to say "Actually, I'm mistaken about that."
My Dad is like this. He drives me to distraction, especially as he is another who has the ability to blame someone else on the 'rare' occasions he is proved wrong.
His 'finest moment' was - on the basis of no legal knowledge or training whatsoever - arguing with me till he was black in the face that people who work in driving jobs who get caught drink-driving hardly ever get banned because they can plead losing their livelihood as a defence and can argue they are a special case. I work in the Criminal Justice System and have been in court and seen people banned with my own eyes ...but I'm still wrong and he's still right.
that should read seen such people banned i.e. people who drive for a living, just to be clear.
I think everyone is like it
except that bastard gandhi
my dad and dsis. too a bloody tee.
usually I smile and say ' if you say so dear' or a 'sure you know best' but it's essential to smile brightly like you are talking to a small child.
I never argue back as it's so foreign to me to do so I get way too upset.
FIL is like this and even DD (aged 12) has started doing it.
My preferred response is "okay" and then ignore everything else they spout, although with DD I am trying to teach her to change, doesn't seem to be working yet though.
I think for some people they take it very personally if someone has a different opinion or choice to them.
so fit example my dad is always texting me to watch a certain comedy programme which I am not interested in. he can't take this so keeps asking me if I have watched it yet and if not why not.
I usually just say I have and he shuts up.
A really lovely passive-aggressive thing to do with people who are 'right' is to say "That's absolutely fascinating, I can't believe I thought something different was the truth. Could you please email me a link to some reliable source (BBC/quality broadsheet newspaper/scientific magazine) as I would love to read a bit more about it." Then if the subject ever crops up again, you can remind them that they haven't provided you with further reading on the subject, why is that?
NB - this only works if you are sure they are wrong and so can't provide any evidence, otherwise you will end up with a load of turgid reading.
DM does the TV program thing too. I usually go for yes, watched it, thought it was rubbish.
She also does it with presents. She doesn't just get it wrong, she deliberately buys what she knows I should like. always know I am going to get some god awful moisturiser / other random cosmetic product that she uses for Christmas if in October she tells me "oh, you've bought moisturiser... I've got X, it's definitely the best one". She always buys me nighties too, because she wears them and "they are really comfortable, much nicer than pyjamas".
Oh my, yes, my parents are both like this.
Dyslexia is made up, allergies are made up, global warming is made up, anything they object to is because of health and safety, or the EU. My dad is convinced that our council waste recycling is a scam and it all goes in to landfill, on the basis that if he's allowed to put his paper and glass out in one box, there's no way it can be sorted later and so it must all be treated as rubbish. I have argued about this for YEARS. They're also convinced that their (also mine) council doesn't offer food recycling even though.....it does!!
They'll have these INSANE conversations with each other where they both sagely agree that the reason the corner shop stopped stocking the biscuits they like, or why the train timetable changed or <insert mundane event here> is because of health and safety or some imaginary EU decree.
The thing is, I disagree with them so much (because virtually everything they think is MAD), that they think I have have-to-be-right syndrome and they'll do lots of sighing and raised eyebrows and 'let's humour her' passive aggressiveness at ME.
I try not to be so petty but can't help it sometimes, for me I dont have to be right but "it" has to be right, I am happy to be corrected, if that makes any sense? I wish I could leave a conversion and a person unaware that something that they said wasn't right but I struggle, for example when discussing a beach resort I insisted that it was in North Carolina not South because it is, it didn't really matter in context to the conversation but I couldn't bear to leave it uncorrected.
I have asked a counsellor for an explanation and they say that it is part of self reassurance knowing that "it" is right. For me it's not about being competitive.
I went out with someone called Nick and he was known as Know It All Nick. Seriously, he thought he was an expert on everything and would love to correct people if they made what he perceived to be an error. It was bloody irritating.
I once told him that I got followed home by a drunk man and had been scared he might attack. Nick said very loftily "You can always out run a drunk". I pointed out that this might be possible if one were sober and wearing flat shoes, but I was pissed and in stilettos.
Most of the time he was, quite simply, wrong. His pedantic nature was very irksome indeed.
YANBU. This is my FIL. The best was last Christmas. He considers himself an expert pianist, despite that fact he can only play melodies with one hand. While I am not an expert pianist, I have been playing for nearly 30 years and have not one but two music degrees. He tried to tell me my digital piano wasn't good enough as there was 'no screen to tell me what voice I am using', the left hand didn't automatically play chords and proceeded to tell me what key a piece of music I had open on the music stand was in. He was completely wrong.
I did get my own back though. While he was lambasting me for not being able to play Queen melodies while the keyboard did it's own thing to accompany it, I sat down and played a Mozart sonata. Geeky revenge is sweet sometimes.
We also had to go on holiday with him once and he insisted on getting DD1 armbands. She could swim. He wasn't having it. And neither was she
I'm afraid we have a saying in our family
"Those of you who THINK you are always right ARE ANNOYING THOSE OF US WHO ARE"
Because we need it.
You are right my brother does need validation for everything. I find it quite funny now, but growing up it was annoying.
He even knew how to give birth better than I did (he was talking to a consultant in the local boozer, who also told him that his 'migranes' were worse than my labour).
Once I even commented that two songs sounded similar and he told me he and his friends bought both CDs the day before and played them at the same time and they sound nothing alike.
I could go on all day about it, what he fails to recognise is that I'm the one who is always right, I conducted an extensive survey
with my kids and the result was conclusive
But there are ways and ways of saying you're right, aren't there? For example, in my family, we never say "You're wrong" or "That's crap". We say things like "Hmm. I don't think that's right, because of x or y, but it's an interesting point of view." This is then the cue for the person who is wrong to either accept their wrongness, or to look it up on the quiet and then accept their wrongness. It's usual, as well, at some point, to say "Oh d'you remember that thing we were talking about? Turns out you were right! I don't know where I got the idea from that I was talking about"- or something along those lines.
But DH will assert that he is right, even when all evidence is against him, or when he has no knowledge of the subject whatsoever. Grr.
Mind you, his mother and sister are exactly the same. I remember one dinner, when they were 'discussing' Charlie and the Chocolate Factory vs Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and which film stuck most closely to the book.
One of them had seen one film and read the book, another had seen the other film and read the book and the third had not read the book but had seen both films. And yet they were all arguing their point of view, even though none of them had all the information at their fingertips...
My dad is very pedantic and he has to correct everything which gets really annoying and pisses off my mum to no end. I've taken to asking him if he'd rather be right or be happy He often chooses being right
Knowing what is right is a bit of a compulsion - I like Pigsmummy's way of thinking about it, yes, that is my problem. I have real issues with leaving things "wrong", it makes me itch!
Love this thread. My dad is Always Right. If I agree with him (while secretly disagreeing/not giving the slightest crap about the subject) he cannot leave the subject alone and has to keep going on about the same fucking thing, just to make sure he has gotten his point across. I like the "I'm sure you're right" method but prefer the spending-as-little-time-in-the-same-room-as-possible technique
My Mil and dh are one and the same. They even break into random strangers conversations should the opportunity to look like a smart arse arise. One brave lady said "Do you mind? Not only am I trying to teach her about (whatever subject my mil was an expert on) I now have to explain strangers, privacy and decorum. Thanks a bunch."
I also have very clever alway right DH,
However, of course, he's only nearly always right, but you can't tell him.
I thought Google had knocked all this on the head about 15 years ago.
What I hate is people who don't recognise that it takes two to tango, and start becoming narked simply because you have a different opinion to them.
*I know a little girl, she isn't very nice
Because everything I say I've done she's always done it twice..*
Love this. Sums up my SIL perfectly.
Very annoying although I do have a self employed nanny.......
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