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AIBU or is this a jealousy red flag?

(80 Posts)
Trololo Sun 29-Sep-13 19:38:13

Last night my boyfriend of four months was at mine. We were sitting watching tv and my phone beeped. It was a Facebook notification from a guy I went to school with, I don't know him well. It wasn't a private mail, he had commented a status I had put earlier. All very boring so far.

Anyway, I didn't really think much of it. BF was acting a bit quiet and I asked what's wrong, he said he was tired. Half an hour later he asked me if any other guys I had dated before him still text me. I obviously said no because I don't text or mail any other guys in that way iykwim. He then told me he had seen the notification and seen it was a guys name. I explained what it was (fb comment, not a text or pm) and he was fine, apologised for being weird with me and over reacting.

This morning he text me to tell me he wanted to know who this guy was, I told him that it's someone I barely knew and it was a public comment on one of my fb posts and he could read it for himself.

Is it a bit odd to be still questioning me over a ridiculous fb comment even though I explained it wasn't a private message? Also, even if it was a pm or text should I have to explain myself repeatedly to him when it would have been completely innocent anyway?

I really don't want to have to worry about the odd text to old friends. I don't have any male friends I'm in contact with on a regular basis, more a check in occasionally of people I was close to at school/old work places (not any exes) I get why he might ask once but he's still going on about it now.

Aibu or is this a bit of a jealousy red flag?

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 30-Sep-13 11:10:58

He's either really insecure & will question you more & more OR really controlling/possessive. In any case, I'd see this as a huge red flag. Sorry, OP.

InsertBoringName Mon 30-Sep-13 11:48:23

It starts off with questions like that and can easily get worse. After reading your posts on here OP I'd say huge red flag!

meddie Mon 30-Sep-13 11:57:53


meddie Mon 30-Sep-13 12:01:46

red flag. be very wary about getting deeper ina relationship with this man

Fecklessdizzy Mon 30-Sep-13 12:44:10

Slightly dissenting voice here ...

When DP and I first got together back in the dawn of time he was fresh out of an unfortunate thing with a cheating minx who shagged his mate and was extremely twitchy about various male chums of mine. We had several sharp exchanges to the effect that he either trusted me or pissed off and things settled down. Several decades later we're still jogging along and his paranoid period is a distant memory.

So sit him down and explain firmly that if he's going to be with you he has to trust you and if he can't do that then the door's over there.

Good luck!

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