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Am I miscarrying?

(151 Posts)
Beavie Sat 28-Sep-13 21:11:05

Sorry to hijack Aibu, I know I'm not bu for once but really need some words of advice!

I'm currently sitting in a&e, where I've been for over 2 hours now, as I am 6 weeks pg and been bleeding intermittently for over 24 hours now. It's bright red blood mixed with mucus (sorry if tmi). It comes in waves and stops and starts and the waves seem to be getting heavier. I've also had a dull pain in my abdomen most of the day, although this has been intermittent too.

Dp is insisting we stay here until we are seen even though it's a bit of a waste of time as far as I'm concerned as we've been told we will not be able to get a scan tonight so I'm not sure what they can actually do. Add to the mix a cranky toddler who should be in bed and I'm feeling pretty fed up. I just want to go home and get in the bath which helps with the aching. Anyone got any words of advice?

foreverchanging Wed 09-Oct-13 23:57:47

So sorry you've had such an awful time Beavie All the best x

pigletmania Wed 09-Oct-13 23:56:39

Aww beavie, big hugs at least you know for definite now and can plan ahead

Beavie Wed 09-Oct-13 23:23:56

It is shitty but I am looking forward to all the things I can now do with my life that would have been very hard with another little one around. I hope that doesn't make me sound heartless because I'm sure I would have loved the new baby to bits...but the pg was unplanned and at a really inconvenient time so now I feel like I'm back on track to where I was going in the first place.

Valdeeves Wed 09-Oct-13 23:01:46

I just read this - what a huge ordeal.
I have also had a puking child this week, so my sympathy there too xx

SaggyIsHavingAPinkKitten Wed 09-Oct-13 22:51:32

Big hugs honey. Its a shitty thing, but it does pass. Take care and take it easy. xxx

Beavie Wed 09-Oct-13 22:04:31

Hi all, I am really touched that people remembered me and thought of me today, thanks. Yes I did go to the scan, and as expected the pregnancy is not viable, the sac has shrunk a bit so it's still there but definitely not embedded as it's moved (upwards, weirdly....must be all those handstands I do). But I was fine, I didn't expect any good news so wasn't disappointed when there wasn't any. Going to wait another 2 weeks to see if nature does it's thing and if not I will have to have some treatment. But the mc has been officially confirmed so I can begin to move on mentally from all of this now.

Featherbag Wed 09-Oct-13 21:59:11

I've been thinking of you too hope today wasn't too horrible x

lotsofcheese Wed 09-Oct-13 21:26:45

Been thinking of you too today, OP.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Wed 09-Oct-13 17:03:06

Been thinking of you Beavie and hope the scan went as well as it could have done.

Big hugs and thanks

supergreenuk Wed 09-Oct-13 16:54:21

Did you have a scan? Been thinking about you today.

Beavie Mon 07-Oct-13 23:03:47

And yes we are all recovered from the d&v now, thanks, though the house looks like a Chinese laundry from all the washing I've had to do!

Beavie Mon 07-Oct-13 23:02:24

Hi, yes the scan is this Wednesday. I've come to accept that dp isn't going to be able to come, after unfairly having a bit of a huff at him about it. I guess I just don't really want to be going on my own, but looks like I will be. It feels weird after going to the scans of my girls when I was pg with them, and it being such an exciting event, to going to the same rooms to find out what's going on with my dead baby. And there are other people around me waiting to go in for their 20 week scans etc, it's all done in the same place, so that's not easy.

I'm hoping I will hold it down a bit better than last week, I think I will be ok as now I am convinced there is no hope, last week I still thought there was a good chance. If not I'll have a little cry in the car and then I'll pull myself together and be ok.

junkfoodaddict Mon 07-Oct-13 20:59:33

Hope you are all feeling better -from the D&V bug that is.. I'm a teacher and it can be practically impossible to get time off from work during intermittent periods of a family crisis so I can sympathise.
Is your scan this Wednesday?

I dont know. My mc was caused by surgery (long story) so I couldn't dtd for a while afterwards anyway. I think there was research recently that suggested ttc as soon as possible was to be recommended, but you'd need to ask doc or hope someone more knowledgeable comes along.

Beavie Sat 05-Oct-13 22:54:01

Thanks. Hopefully it won't get too bad, on the scan the embryo only measured 3mm so there shouldn't be too much there to come out. Still exactly the same, trickling away at the moment.

Made it to the uni open day today and although it's not my first choice of uni because it was a bastard to get to, it did verify that I am definitely following the right path in terms of my choice of course and career. So I am feeling excited and motivated towards reaching my end goal, which has taken my mind off things today.

Another technical question, obviously sex is not top of my list of priorities right now, but when is it safe again? When the bleeding stops and everything has settled down, how long do I need to leave it?

I wish there was something helpful I could say, but I'm just going to remind you that you've got loads of hands to hold here. If it makes you feel any less scared, when I miscarried there was never any big 'event' iyswim. It was 'just' three-four weeks of bleeding. If you are mcing then it won't necessarily get 'worse' physically. The emotional trauma can obviously last much longer. Again, there are lots of people here who will listen/read/care x

themaltesefalcon Sat 05-Oct-13 20:19:15

Poor, poor you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. sad

Beavie Sat 05-Oct-13 19:56:18

Hmm I think I will pass out in shock if they do find a live baby on next week's scan. I passed a small lump of something or another today so it's really not looking too good sad

ladythatlunches Sat 05-Oct-13 18:01:09

Hi beavie. Im sorry you are going through this.

I just wanted you to no my story.

I was beey much like you, I jad rold myself it was over. Scans didn't pick anything at all. I jad blood tests and scan after scan and nothing!

My bloods were only slightly rising. They were worried about ectopic told me to expect the worst!

Next lot of bloods went up few digits. booked in for another scan and guess what?! There were twins there!!!.

God knows what went on but there here healthy and fine.

Good luck thinking of you.

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 23:41:05

Thanks elcranko x

elcranko Fri 04-Oct-13 21:09:42

Beavie, I just read the whole thread. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Sending you hugs x

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 20:59:54

Oh and yes, feeling a lot better today, d&v wise, but dd1 and dp both came down with it in huge early hours of the morning so had another bad night's sleep with them up and down going to the bathroom, and getting up to change sheets. We've all had it now though, so hopefully I won't have to deal with anymore sick for a little while!

Beavie Fri 04-Oct-13 20:57:16

I'm staying as close to home as possible over the next few days but certain things I really do need to try and get to, like the uni open day tomorrow and college on tues and thurs next week.

It's really difficult because the pg wasn't planned and on one hand I was absolutely gutted because I had set my heart on getting to uni next year and then having a career, but on the other hand I was excited about having another baby. But logically, money wise and for lots of reasons it's not a good idea so it would be daft to intentionally set out to get pg again. Dp was so ridiculously excited about me being pg and now I feel bad that I can't say the one thing that he wants to hear, which is 'we can try again'.

lotsofcheese Fri 04-Oct-13 20:29:42

I'm sorry you're still in limbo. I'm hoping the d&v bug has passed?

Both my miscarriages were atypical, and I never really bled heavily with either & ended up having surgery both times. I was just glad to get it over with & didn't find the procedure too bad at all.

I hope the next few days provide some answers, one way or another.

spongebob13 Fri 04-Oct-13 20:19:34

I feel for you so much.

I remember I was bleeding a week. they were able to tell on a scan I was miscarrying but the "main event" as ye are calling had not happened yet. one morning the cramps got worse and felt a sudden urge to go to the loo and the sac passed. after that things started to die down and wasn't feeling as bad. I know its not possible but if you could stay home until this happens I would advise it. I then needed to be seen again and scanned to see if I needed a D&C which thankfully I didn't. was pregnant a month later and now have a wonderful 4 year old ds.


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