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To be mad at DH for spoiling the evening?

(503 Posts)
TeaJunky Sat 28-Sep-13 00:05:16

It's been a long week for both of us. Long hours at work for him and me at home with dd1 (4) and dd2 (10 months).

DH rang earlier to say he's taking us out to dinner to our favourite Chinese restaurant which is in a huge shopping mall. I had an exchange to do for dd2's clothes and thought I'd get it sorted while we were there.

DH arrives home and we are all ready, we get to the restaurant in good spirits and DH comments on how we're going to have a nice fun evening after a long hard week. We eat and enjoy the meal. Then we walk into the shopping mall and i tell DH I'd like to do the exchange now to which he agrees.

We go to the shop and I start to look for some clothes I can exchange with and DH starts to look antsy but he's ok. I continue looking, and ask his opinion on a couple of outfits to which he gives helpful answers. I choose some clothes then say, I'm just going to take one last look on that side and then I'm done, and he gets really annoyed. He said, 'this is what you always do. This is what you did on holiday'. Then he sat there with a face on while I looked (for the whole of 2 minutes), and waited outside with dd1 while I did the exchange.

When I came out I was annoyed and he was in a big huff and we argued hmm

I'm really upset at how impatient he was being. I'd only been in the shop for a maximum of 20 minutes. I'm the one who usually does all the shopping and clothes buying and so what if he had to 'waste' 20 minutes of his precious time while I BOUGHT CLOTHES FOR OUR CHILD.

He said I always try to dominate every situation and that I ruined the plans, and we were supposed to be having family fun time. I asked him what plans and he said 'what's the fucking point in asking now'.

We drove home in silence (with dd1 chattering away to herself in the back) and have both come to bed without talking. hmm

Salmotrutta Sat 28-Sep-13 00:35:22

Why would anyone want to spend 20 minutes on a shop unless they were on their own and knew they were trying things on?

I can't imagine being so indecisive that i wouldn't know what I would select to try on/ buy before paying and getting the hell out of there.


Shopping isn't a substitute for friends/social activity you know...

Preciousbane Sat 28-Sep-13 00:36:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaJunky Sat 28-Sep-13 00:37:57

Chocolate - you're probably right. We are both knackered and I was expecting a simple dinner at home and quiet night in with dcs in bed early. I have a million things to do during the day and I just thought I'd get this one thing out of the way as I don't tend to go to that shopping centre so often.
Oh well.

Salmotrutta Sat 28-Sep-13 00:38:00

OP - you sound like my worst nightmare like my MIL who enjoys browsing in shops

Who the heck actually likes shopping?

Nobody I know,that's for sure.

TeaJunky Sat 28-Sep-13 00:40:35

Er, who said I'm replacing friends/social activities with shopping? confused

I was doing an exchange for baby clothes because they didn't fit very well, salmotrotto. It's not so uncommon!

fortyplus Sat 28-Sep-13 00:42:17

You spent 20 minutes browsing in a shop during an evening that was supposed to be dedicated to a family meal. Yes he threw his dummy down like a twat but you started it and you're just going to justify it to yourself whatever anyone says.

I'd be pretty miffed if I went out for a meal with someone and they started dawdling round the shops.

TeaJunky Sat 28-Sep-13 00:44:17

But forty, we'd had the fucking meal! It was over and done with! How the fuck did I know what his grand plans were if he didn't tell me and agreed to go to this shop with me!

SummerRain Sat 28-Sep-13 00:44:46

God I'd be pissed too if a nice leisurely evening turned into an extended tooing and frooing of a shop I didn't want to be in with 2 kids in tow.

You sound like my mother. I hate shopping with her as it's far too much indecision and circling around. I walk in, see whether I like anything, buy it and walk out. She dithers and goes back and forth and it's irritating.

Why on earth did the clothes even need to be exchanged on what was supposed to be a family evening out?

TeaJunky Sat 28-Sep-13 00:48:33

All the posters at the beginning of the thread that said he was BU and a twat please come back grin

kali110 Sat 28-Sep-13 00:50:57

Yabu. He had tried to plan a nice family night which didn't involve being dragged and left outside a shop.
He prob said to go in the shop but didn't think you were going to spend twenty mins in there. You only thought you may as well take care of something while you were there but it Sounds like he had something nice planned and it was ruined as you were in shop too long, which prob made him even more pissed and unhappy.
As for the ice-cream, you could have bought your own, he wasn't stopping you.

Selks Sat 28-Sep-13 00:51:35

You only seem to be able to see this from your own point of view, OP.
YABU, sorry.

TeaJunky Sat 28-Sep-13 00:54:06

Ok....thanks all for replies.

I'm going to bed and I'll think it over with a clear head tomorrow. Maybe I AM in the wrong just this once

Donkeyok Sat 28-Sep-13 00:59:05

I hope you've gone to bed now so your not still grumpy with him in the morning. Sleeeeeeppppppppppp zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
make you feel better.

Morloth Sat 28-Sep-13 01:01:08

We fight if we go to the shops together.

So we don't go to the shops together.

Everyone in our family would rather stick matches under our nails and light them then go a family trip to the mall.

If DH lost him mind and suggested we go shopping after a nice dinner, I might humour him for a bit, but it would be guaranteed to ruin our night.

SolidGoldBrass Sat 28-Sep-13 01:01:32

Sorry but YABU. 20 minutes in a shop while your H and your two small DCS are bored shitless and you wonder why he's sulking?

garlicbaguette Sat 28-Sep-13 01:02:48

Gosh, yes, Tea, how very dare you do a necessary child-related task during a Special Family Evening That DH Had Planned All Special Like, bless him?! A wife's role is to make all the family stuff happen like magic, so Your Dear Husband may relax and enjoy his special showing off time with the children you have lovingly prepared for him.

How could you be so selfish and unreasonable as to make him join you in choosing things for his baby? That's not what men are for! And twenty minutes??? Goodness, you irresponsible woman! Anyone might think you expected him to be interested in his children's things shock

Some might suggest that, if a man couldn't be arsed to spend one third of one hour showing an interest in providing for his baby, he might take the children outside instead of grumping around the shop moaning at you. But, dear Tea, they would be wrong. Because he is A Man, you see. They must be humoured like ill-tempered gods.

You're jolly lucky he only punished you with sulking and ice-cream deprivation. He is not behaving like an overtired 5-year-old: I mean, he is, but one should never ever say so! No, a woman's role is to serve and be sorry.


Morloth Sat 28-Sep-13 01:02:51

You can just feel the horribleness can't you SGB?

Bleugh, especially after a nice big happy dinner.


garlicbaguette Sat 28-Sep-13 01:05:42

As an aside: where the fuck have all these Handmaidens come from? Are you all docile newbies, or is this some sort of invasion from a surrendered wives forum?


garlicbaguette Sat 28-Sep-13 01:06:43

Morloth & SGB excepted grin

I'll just have to suppose you two are having a shite night!

Morloth Sat 28-Sep-13 01:08:11

Nah I just really really hate shopping.

Like really hate shopping.

Especially for clothes, especially while waiting for someone else.

So in this case I can empathise with the shopping hater.

Shopping is always wrong.

God I hate it.

garlicbaguette Sat 28-Sep-13 01:09:07

So do I. But I wouldn't be such a cunt about this. Who shops for your kids?

Morloth Sat 28-Sep-13 01:09:09

Online all the way.

You push the button, they send it to you.

Best invention ever.

Morloth Sat 28-Sep-13 01:09:31


She loves shopping.

Morloth Sat 28-Sep-13 01:11:56

I probably would be a cunt about it.

After a great big meal I probably want a glass of wine and the telly.

Donkeyok Sat 28-Sep-13 01:12:24

Heeeew Hawwwww grin

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