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Am I being totally selfish?

(36 Posts)
CajaDeLaMemoria Fri 27-Sep-13 16:58:29

We are visiting DP's relatives ATM. We do this every month.

DP and his parents do a hobby. It was a hobby I wanted to do, that they'd never done before. Health-problems made me unable to do it, but they got interested, and started to do it without me. I am a bit resentful of that. I feel left out, and like it's constantly being rubbed in my face that I can't do it, so I may be BU because of that.

We've been here 3 days. I've had to commute into work by train. DP has been off, as have his parents. Today, I took the morning off. We were due to go out somewhere all together, but DP and his parents decided to do that hobby instead. Apart from they didn't actually do it, in the end, and the morning off was wasted. I had to travel to work at lunch, but they went out.

Tomorrow, we were supposed to visit a local attraction for my birthday. My birthday was months ago, but DP had something big going on, and it's closer to here anyway. Apart from now they want to do the hobby instead, and go to the attraction on Sunday, when we were due to go home.

I expressed disappointment that they didn't do the hobby today, when I was busy anyway, and instead my plans were being moved around. I'll now spend hours tomorrow on my own. Is that really selfish?

animaniac Fri 27-Sep-13 21:51:14

I'm with the others...whats The Hobby??
but otherwise, doesnt sound like you're being UR.

MikeOxard Fri 27-Sep-13 21:45:04

They are being utter bastards! Stop going there. You commute to work several days every month, so your dp and in laws can do a hobby you're recently unable to do for medical reasons? What. The. FUCK?

NeedlesCuties Fri 27-Sep-13 20:27:41

Just tell them to get stuffed and go off to celebrate your (belated) birthday yourself.

They sound like bores anyway.


UniS Fri 27-Sep-13 19:32:49

Was the surf good today?

SoldAtAuction Fri 27-Sep-13 19:21:51

You are being reasonable! thanks

But I do need to know what the hobby is now.....

Faux Fri 27-Sep-13 19:20:22


SugarMiceInTheRain Fri 27-Sep-13 19:15:42

YANBU. I'd be annoyed, especially with them not doing it on the day you were busy and planning to waste your time by leaving you hanging around waiting. And changing your birthday plans. I'd go home personally.

Also intrigued about 'the hobby'

phantomnamechanger Fri 27-Sep-13 19:14:46

LesMissAbs is the OPs MIL, I reckon!

Primadonnagirl Fri 27-Sep-13 19:12:19

LOL at dogging!! Or possibly fracking? Drug smuggling?whatever it is we are all going to be dreadfully disappointed...

LessMissAbs Fri 27-Sep-13 19:08:36

Cycling? Horse riding? I'm thinking The Hobby was adversely affected by the weather maybe.

YABU a bit. What does it matter precisely what date you go to see the attraction? One day is neither here nor there. Chill! And if you are the only one who cannot do The Hobby, try not to spoil it for others, or you risk coming across as a killjoy, particularly if the PIL are older than you and can still do The Hobby.

ohmymimi Fri 27-Sep-13 19:07:45

Are they furbies? That could explain your allergy.
Seriously though, they sound totally inconsiderate and selfish. Find a hobby that does not include them.

DontmindifIdo Fri 27-Sep-13 19:07:33

Tell him if you aren't having your birthday outing tomorrow you'll go home, he can sort his own way home on Sunday. Explain there will not be enough time to do your outing on Sunday and get home and everything sorted for next week, so is he really cancelling your day out?

Also, I'd not go too for trips to his parents if they will be doing the mystery "hobby" all the time. Again, he's a grown up, I'm sure he could get to/from his parents without you.

MavisGrind Fri 27-Sep-13 19:03:41


All this talk of "The Hobby" and references such as "They did the hobby on Thursday" is making it sound like it's something rude.

However, I am very shallow and easily moved to hearing implied rudery <channels Frankie Howerd>

BillyBanter Fri 27-Sep-13 18:59:45

Do you mean that you have an ongoing health problem that prevents you taking part in the hobby or that you were ill when they started the hobby and now can't join?

Either way they are not being very considerate.

AnyFucker Fri 27-Sep-13 18:53:05

Fgs tell us what the hobby is

RobotLover68 Fri 27-Sep-13 18:49:49


YouTheCat Fri 27-Sep-13 18:49:05

He expects you to commute to work so he can see his parents once a month?

Tell him to get a bus/train in future. If they aren't making you feel at all welcome then don't visit them.

What is the hobby?

LARPing dressed up as comic book characters?

Playing knick knack on neighbour's doors?

Pretending to be superheros and running round the neighbourhood?

Euphemia Fri 27-Sep-13 18:48:39

I bet it's pig sticking.

bakingaddict Fri 27-Sep-13 18:48:21

Is it dogging? (runs away)

phantomnamechanger Fri 27-Sep-13 18:46:49

bellringing? kayaking? ballroom dancing? bungee jumping?

phantomnamechanger Fri 27-Sep-13 18:45:52

YANBU, they are all being very inconsiderate, it's as if you aren't there, never mind supposed to be celebrating your birthday.

CaptainSweatPants Fri 27-Sep-13 18:44:51

What's with all the cloak & dagger stuff!
Just tell us the hobby ( please wink )

pictish Fri 27-Sep-13 18:42:35

What's the hobby?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Fri 27-Sep-13 18:41:43

I can't be the only one who wonders what the hobby is....

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