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To not let my 1 year old breastfeed despite her crying in hunger?

(96 Posts)
HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Fri 27-Sep-13 15:31:57

She's not eaten ANY food today, tried to give her porridge, apple puree, strawberries, 'organic' crisps, sweet potato and lasagne so far. She hasn't had a single mouthful, I last let her breastfeed about an hour after she refused breakfast, and she had a big drink then at about 10.
This is a very regular occurrence but she usually breastfeeds on demand a lot.

She's taken a tiny bit of water but is pushing away snacks still, and clawing at my top for milk, pretty upset.

Should I just give in or should I wait out and hope she takes real food when she's hungry enough?

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 17:53:20

I think you are a star to have breast fed for a year. good in you. if you want to stop now that's perfectly fine and ONLY your decision. no one else.

your dd is feeding like a new born and so is full up.

bf is lovely, but your needs are just as important as your dds.

I bf all of mine for a year and then stopped. it's hard but the milk dries up after a few days of pure agony and your dd will move on.

this is totally your decision not outs or your dds. just yours.

Dobbiesmum Fri 27-Sep-13 17:55:48

Could you possibly get her to take some expressed milk from a sippy or a doidy cup? If it's the comfort of your boob she's after maybe try to substitute something that smells of you instead, sleep with a blanket or soft toy for a few days and give it to her at feed/nap time.

WoTmania Fri 27-Sep-13 17:56:04

friends recommend this book
FWIW my lot were all still nursing a lot at a year and the younger two didn't really start eating solids properly until they were 13/14 months or so and even then not much. Some babies take longer to cut down on feeds than others.
Other useful books are mothering your nursing toddler and How Weaning Happens
At this stage refusing to let you baby breastfeed is probably counter productive as she may be too upset and distressed to eat.

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 17:58:34

to add there is no mummy Manuel and if there was it would not feature babies needs far out weigh mothers.

Tailtwister Fri 27-Sep-13 18:01:02

I would feed her. She may well be coming down with something. Food refusal and increased bf frequency was always the first sign of illness with both mine.

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 18:01:59

oh god not a parenting/ weaning book. op do what's right for you and your family. don't waste your cash on making another 'parenting expert' money.

FlapJackFlossie Fri 27-Sep-13 18:03:04

Oooooooh, I'd just luuuuurve one of these all to myself .........*mummy Manuel*

Mojavewonderer Fri 27-Sep-13 18:06:19

Have you spoken to your health visitor about this? If not then I suggest you do and possibly contact a breast feeding support group and see if they have any suggestions. There maybe a underlying problem so a trip to a trusted GP is most likely a good idea.
I would fed the baby and get over this weekend and get ringing round on Monday. Good luck.

MoominsYonisAreScary Fri 27-Sep-13 18:12:49

Every hour? You must be knackered, well done for demand feeding so frequently for so long.

Also like waterrat says, not surprised she doesnt want to eat solids when she is bf so often.

Id check its not something medical and maybe post somewhere you will get more helpful comments

Gingersnap88 Fri 27-Sep-13 18:13:58

My DD was like this, she is 18 months now and only just starting to get into food. We've been baby led weaning from 6 months. She has always tried to food but just doesn't war very much.

She is big for her age (tall & weight) even though she's mainly breastfed. I just think some children need it for longer. When we are busy in the day, she doesn't want bf. if we are home then she is constantly on my lap!

Don't worry, it's a stage and it will pass. She's far too little to understand why she can't have this great source of comfort from you, so I'd give her the boob.

As a breast feeding peer supporter, I'd recommend that you look closely at your diet- eat lots if varied food and full fat creams / milks / cheeses. She's getting her nutrients etc from you but it's still a lot for your body so top it up! I was so busy trying to lose baby weight that I overlooked this and was constantly tired and grumpy.

Once you are ready to stop, I'd suggest gradually dropping feeds instead of going cold turkey- it's much nicer on her and on you.

Totally understand where you're coming from though, you're doing brilliantly smile

WoTmania Fri 27-Sep-13 18:14:42

hmm thebody - the first one is a book by a Spanish paediatrician. The others are LLL books; one about what's normal behaviour for a nursing toddler than the other about normal weaning (From the breast) and how to wean gently. So no, not 'parenting' books, or weaning in the starting solids/Annabelle karmel sense.

WoTmania Fri 27-Sep-13 18:19:28

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 18:23:38

FlapJack, love to write a 'mummy Manuel' but it's a contradiction in terms as everyone's would/ should be different as everyone's family unit is different.

I also dislike intensely so called experts ( often men) telling women how to mother.

how about, they all, unless have special needs, eventually sleep, and in their own beds, they all eventually walk, talk and eat more or less most food.

the speed of these magic milestones is usually in the parents gift but they just don't know it.

midori1999 Fri 27-Sep-13 18:27:46

I wonder why people have made the assumption that the OP wants to stop breastfeeding or breastfeeding on demand? I can't see where she's mentioned that, just that she's is worried her DC isn't eating any/enough solids. hmm

OP, I agree you should let her nurse and if you are worried about her low solid intake speak to a professional who knows about child nutrition and about breastfeeding. A IBCLC may be someone who can help with this, or La Leche League may put you in touch with someone? I also agree getting checked for tongue and lip tues, even at this late stage may help.

In the short term I wouldn't worry too much if she seems otherwise fine. It's simply not true that a one year old nursing hourly won't be hungry for or take solids, many one year olds do nurse like this, particularly on and off and from what you say your DD does take some solids some days?

thebody Fri 27-Sep-13 18:31:02

Wo if they are books about children aimed at parents then they are parenting books!

parents have been weaning gently or otherwise for centuries without books.

weaning is simply the reduction of offering milk and the introduction of solid foods. it can be bloody annoying/ frustrating and messy but it is not rocket science and does not generally require the involvement of a paediatrician Spanish or otherwise.

the op wants to stop bf. her baby wants the breast.

sometimes the mothers needs override the babies, the op days the baby is 1 and not ill.

the op should follow her instincts and do what's right for her.

JoinTheDots Fri 27-Sep-13 18:53:30

Nothing at all wrong with wanting to wean, and nothing at all wrong with being concerned about her not eating any solids, but do consider weaning gradually - for your own health - if you go cold turkey, you might well get mastitis and trust me, that's not nice.

Decide on the feeds she will have, and the one you want to cut, and do it. Then, when that one is no longer taken, choose another. Usually best to go for ones where she can be distracted best in case she is not very happy about the change.

I found the last thing at night and first thing in the morning ones were the hardest to get rid of (if you don't count night weaning, which was a whole other battle).

I should mention, I did not fully wean until DD was 2.5 or thereabouts, and at 1 she was certainly eating more milk than solids, but its a relationship you both have to be happy with, and if you are not - then you need to do something about it.

CrowmarshGibbon Fri 27-Sep-13 19:24:25

Starlight - she paid to go private with Dr Levinkind

FrogsGoWhat Fri 27-Sep-13 19:43:12

Re the feeding lots at night, I found with DD that if I upped the daytime feeds, the nighttime feeds dropped.

Also 12.-14 months is a sleep regression and mug growth spurt - most babies I know have upped the feeding around this time, then moved onto solids fine at 14ish months. So if you can wait it put...?

FrogsGoWhat Fri 27-Sep-13 19:46:05

Mug? Big!

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 27-Sep-13 20:01:24

DS relied mainly on breastmilk from the age of 12-22 months. Health visitors were horrified, I tried everything I could to get him to eat. Nothing worked and we're only just breaking the habit, aged 5, of him eating in front of the tv. He has a big taste and expectation of big portions of junk foods like crisps and sweets, because of some stupid theory someone had that if I got him used to the feeling of being full, he would want to eat more. Yeah, I was that desperate.

I look back now and wish I hadn't worried so much about it. In fact he was getting everything he needed from bm and the tiny amount of food he was eating. When weighed, he was on the small side, but always had been. I am small. He's still slim, but very tall for his age and he doesn't look abnormal for a child his age.

As long as you aren't restricting her food, she won't starve herself. Make it available and then try to avoid the guilt/worry/etc - you can't force feed her. She will eat when she is ready.

If you want something good to read on the topic, "My Child Won't Eat" by Carlos Gonzales is very good. It also explains that the appetite of a 1 year old is often smaller than that of a 9 month old, and why this is normal.

My non eating 1 year old now eats me out of house and home. I swear he has hollow legs!

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 27-Sep-13 20:05:55

Huh, wow, just scrolled up to see the bunfight about books. Books (especially parenting books) aren't for everyone but I quite enjoy reading them and like to receive recommendations. If OP doesn't I'm sure she can scroll past and ignore. There's no need to sneer about it!

May09Bump Fri 27-Sep-13 20:10:04

Try these nuby cups for milk - the silicone mouth piece is the only thing my LO would take instead of the breast. I had to wean at 13months - he had multiple allergies and my milk was causing him to be sick.

It is hard weaning, my son only took overnight - but they do adapt. I do agree with other posters not to start this if ill / teething unless necessary.

Best of luck.

May09Bump Fri 27-Sep-13 20:10:50

Try these nuby cups for milk - the silicone mouth piece is the only thing my LO would take instead of the breast. I had to wean at 13months - he had multiple allergies and my milk was causing him to be sick.

It is hard weaning, my son only took overnight - but they do adapt. I do agree with other posters not to start this if ill / teething unless necessary.

Best of luck.

TokenGirl1 Fri 27-Sep-13 20:17:51

Have you thought about pureeing some food for her? At this age, my little one would refuse solids and one day I tried pureeing it and she wolfed it down. It didn't stop her going back to solids a few days later. She was just going through a phase.

With the experience I now have, go with the flow at this age, your little one will guide you. I worried myself silly about my first and her eating when she was this age but she's still small but she eats as much as she needs.

junkfoodaddict Fri 27-Sep-13 21:22:30

I'll just give you a hug <<hugs>>

It sounds like you are having a really miserable time of it and some people on here are flaming you in such as way that if it was me, I'd feel as though I am being accused of abusing, torturing and killing my child by refusing the breast.

You'd think that food was evil to some of these over dramatic queens!

If you want to stop, get some adive from your HV and a breastfeeding support network. You are unlikely to get a flaming from them!

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