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to be annoyed that someone I had an affair with, still posts on...

(65 Posts)
ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:23:11

a facebook page he set up to communicate with me.

As this is aibu, I want to know what you would think. He nearly left his wife for me but didn't in the end, after two years of saying he wanted to, could live without me etc.

It was obviously much more messy than that, and i got hurt, but it's been over a year since i told him where to go, and as far as I've heard his wife and he are making a go of it.

Yet he's taking the piss out of her. The facebook page has photos on it to do with me. Not of me. Messages that he misses me. He is blocked by me btw. I know it still exists as my now partner did a search, and the page is still there.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Fri 27-Sep-13 10:37:36

Why are you getting your new partner to stalk your ex online? Thats creepy behaviour,

I bet him taking the piss out of his wife didn't bother you when you were together, I imagine you both had a good laugh at her expense, setting up your facebook page and declaring your feelings in public. Why does it bother you now?

SilverApples Fri 27-Sep-13 10:37:37

His poor wife?
The one you wanted him to leave?
He is an unpleasant character if what you say is true, but really, sympathy from you? Do you think she'd appreciate it?

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:38:19

yeah, i know. who cares. i do think that most of the time. If he were to have other flirtations you'd think he would open another account.

oh maybe he has. there's pics of his kids on there too. in context when we communicating ok, we were planning a future, one yr ago, but it didn't work out.

i truly am over it, but it's not right now. it's over. they are working on their marriage and it's still there.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:39:20

no you're right, i was taking the piss back then.

not now. he is.

SilverApples Fri 27-Sep-13 10:39:39

He's doing it because it amuses and entertains him.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:40:55

oh no there was no laughing, it was a dire, ridiculous mistake on my part and i hurt someone terribly.

Snargaluff Fri 27-Sep-13 10:41:07

I actually am a bit confused by people saying ignore it, obviously he's using your actual name and even if it's not identifiable that it's him, it is identifiable that it's you. Obviously you did a terrible thing but you ended it, you have a new partner, and it's justifiable that you'd feel pissed off that your name is being used on a public site in this way.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:42:01

well i'll just ignore it. just needed to vent.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:42:51

yes, this is the thing. i have come to aibu because it's a piss take. there's pics of him on there too!!

bicyclefish Fri 27-Sep-13 10:43:31

contact facebook, tell them this guy is passively harassing you and ask them to remove the page?

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Fri 27-Sep-13 10:45:06

X-post. Report to facebook.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:45:31

i ignored it from last year till june, well basically cos he was blocked. i was freaked out when i saw there were messages on there for me. who's not had a nose on facebook, and it's obvious he's doing it cos he wants either a reaction, or it's some sort of self satisfying release.

i guess, now i've a partner it feels like so long ago, and it's creepy.

StuntGirl Fri 27-Sep-13 10:45:49

I don't understand why you care.

You're no longer with him.

You've blocked him so can't see it.

Except you're getting your new partner to check for you?

So you'd never have known if you hadn't gone looking for it?

Walk away. Really, why is this anything to do with you now?

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:46:24

ok will look to that.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:47:15

because i am identifiable on it i guess.

BeCool Fri 27-Sep-13 10:48:16

YABU to think anyone here might care.

Dahlen Fri 27-Sep-13 10:48:19

Well either you have an incredibly thick skin or you're into self-flagellation wink but I suspect the reason the FB page is still up is precisely because he knew you would check it. As indeed you have.

You've got your new partner checking it out, which is weird in itself. You say you're truly over it, but quite obviously you aren't. Maybe you're over him but clearly you're not over the sense of rejection (that he wouldn't leave his wife). I think you need to stop looking, stop asking your friends to get involved by communicating with him (which just keeps the link between you two going) and completely sever your life from his. Only then will you send the message that nothing he does will bring you back for more fun on the side.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:48:47

and i did ignore, but curiosity got the better of me and i the rug got pulled from under me, i couldn't believe it was there again. neither do i know how long it was deleted for.

ok. i'm off. will report it. small town.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 10:51:48

oh i think self flagellation is within reason, well was. i prob have got hangups, but there it is.

if i report it, i hope it's annonymous.

deepfriedsage Fri 27-Sep-13 11:05:26

His poor wife. Report. Why are you and your new guyobsessing over your ex mm?

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 11:07:25

I've not been obsessing if it's something i've just found out. i am angry right now. small town, new(ish) partner knows him. friend who asked him to delete it knows all of us.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 11:08:42

it feels more like he's obsessing about me, and tbh i was very blind, it is, looking back, his nature to obsess. as he wouldn't leave me alone back then.

ClutchingPearls Fri 27-Sep-13 11:11:52

I think he still wants to get caught. He's getting more risky by adding your name and his pictures. It's basically a log of your affair, when the wife finds it its all cataloged for her. She will find it, he wants her to.

If someone mentions you had an affair with someone. a Facebook search of your name will bring it up for her or her friends.

My guess is he wants it all to explode for both the relationships to come to an end, together. Leaving you and him single again.

ignoreorwhat Fri 27-Sep-13 11:14:54

he did tell the wife he wanted to leave, but they decided to work on it.

maybe he's playing a stupid game so he'll get chucked out should she find it. my surname isn't involved.

WeAreSeven Fri 27-Sep-13 11:15:09

Send his wife a screenshot of it?

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