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To not want my dd to dress as a boy?

(102 Posts)
Hithere123 Thu 26-Sep-13 18:54:17

Don't know if I'm being mean or not. This is a long standing problem with dd (5) wanting to dress as a boy. She has older brothers and baby brother. She loves her babies and barbies but that's as girly as she gets. Her favourite outfit is trackies and trainers. I don't see a problem with this at all and within reason I let her wear what makes her happy unless we are going to a party and she needs a nice dress and she does without much fuss. Her friend is having a fancy dress party and she wants to go as...Ron weasley. She had the gryffindor cloak this after a trip to Harry potter. My thoughts were to buy the a tesco school skirt and she could be ginny (she chose the ginny want there too) but she insists she wants to be Ron. Should I buy her grey school trousers (I really don't want to) and leave her be or insist she goes as a girl.

Bowlersarm Thu 26-Sep-13 18:56:09

Leave her be. She'll probably grow out of it in due course (I did!)

ophiotaurus Thu 26-Sep-13 18:56:22

Why don't you want her to go as a male character of that's what she wants to do? I don't see the issue!

LindyHemming Thu 26-Sep-13 18:57:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hermioneweasley Thu 26-Sep-13 18:57:19


Wearing track suit bottoms and trainers isn't dressing like a boy, it's dressing fur comfort. Little girls should be able to run, jump, climb every but as much as boys

And she's going as a fictional character to a fancy dress party. Wifi cares about the bloody gender?

SparkleSoiree Thu 26-Sep-13 18:57:22

My DD(6) doesn't own a skirt although she owns a very elaborate dress for parties that she designed her self and we made for her. She is most comfortable like that and she can be herself. When she is herself she is happy and relaxed.

I don't see any issue with a girl wanting to dress as Ron Weasley for a fancy dress party. smile

SparkleSoiree Thu 26-Sep-13 18:57:32


hermioneweasley Thu 26-Sep-13 18:58:16

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

HavantGuard Thu 26-Sep-13 18:59:25

She's 5. There is not 'a long standing problem.' You have a problem with it. She's fine. Buy her the trousers and stop making such a fuss about a non issue.

pomdereplay Thu 26-Sep-13 19:00:06

FGS. Let her go as Ron. How unkind of you to want to stifle a perfectly harmless and sweet facet of her developing personality. YABVVVVVVVU.

squoosh Thu 26-Sep-13 19:00:41


She may not be as 'girlie' as you'd like her to be but it doesn't make her any less of a girl. Don't turn this into an issue between the two of you.

In a year's time she may become obsessed with sparkles, or she may not, but you can't direct her taste.

BendyBusBuggy Thu 26-Sep-13 19:00:56

I always dressed like a boy, had short hair etc. i never wanted to be a boy, just liked my "look" that way. My mum let me get on with it and when I was a teenager i grew mt hair long.

steeking Thu 26-Sep-13 19:02:09

Let her chose what to wear. Otherwise there's danger of it becoming a massive issue. It doesn't matter what she wears. They're just clothes.

spottygoat Thu 26-Sep-13 19:02:48

I don't see what the problem is. My dd is 6 and if she would rather have boys clothes im not gonna stop her. We went shopping and she chose a hat from the boys section rather than a pink one. Again we were shopping and all the coats in the girls part were pink and she didn't want a pink one so I asked if she would like to look in the boys section.

I think it's good that shes choosing what she wants rather than what she 'should' have.

MmeLindor Thu 26-Sep-13 19:03:07

Let her be.

Some girls aren't particularly 'girly'. Accept it and you will all be much happier.

I would also advise getting her some smart trousers and a plain top, so that she can go to a party without having to 'suffer' a dress.

DD has a pair of lovely silver jeans from Monsoon which look fab with sparkly blue hightops and a plain blue top. It doesn't have to be lumberjack shirts and jeans vs pink frilly skirts. There is a middle ground to be found

Hithere123 Thu 26-Sep-13 19:04:12

She actually wants to be a boy though...she has told me and says prayers that she will be one one day

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 26-Sep-13 19:05:09

Leave her be.

You have to accept them even when you are worried about/for them.

Make her feel good about herself.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Thu 26-Sep-13 19:06:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HahaHarrie Thu 26-Sep-13 19:08:15

Good on your daughter for knowing her own mind. Let her go with it. She sounds great - lucky you.

squoosh Thu 26-Sep-13 19:08:24

I can understand how you might find it upsetting that she tells you she wants to be a boy. Don't read too much into it though, she is only 5. She's surrounded by brothers who she loves and looks up to so it's no wonder she's being a boy as something to aspire to.

FloraFox Thu 26-Sep-13 19:09:14

Maybe she wants to be a boy because you are telling her that the clothes /things she likes are for boys?

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Thu 26-Sep-13 19:10:00

YABU! Your dd sounds great!

WilsonFrickett Thu 26-Sep-13 19:10:04

With kindness, if your dd really does want to be a boy then her life is going to be very difficult. So you need to keep the lines of communication open more, be even more supportive, be even more respectful of her choices.

That means really not getting into it if she wants to go to a party as Ron Weasley.

GatoradeMeBitch Thu 26-Sep-13 19:11:46

Let her go as Ron Weasley, she sounds really cool!

When she's been at school for a while she may want to fit in with her peers, or she may continue to bang her own drum. As long as she's happy just let her be herself!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 26-Sep-13 19:12:01



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